Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Russell Brand

Quotables: Russell Brand Uses His Manners, Is “Fine”

photo of katy perry and russell brand pictures photos pics
“Quite well, thank you. Are you asking because of recent events? You are making the mistake of seeing time as linear. The brilliant American author Kurt Vonnegut, he’ll tell you that if you imagine reality as experienced simultaneously, events become redundant.”

This is what Russell Brand had to say when he was asked how he was doing this past weekend.

You know, something about a lot of European folks: they’ve still got some manners left after all these years. And that’s not to say that Americans don’t, because that’s just not generally true, but if an American actor (even an American actor like the revered Ryan Gosling) said something like this in response to a paparazzi’s question, they’d be considered pretentious, vague, and annoying. When it comes from the mouth of someone with a refined accent (and not a chewy US East Coast accent), it’s seen as so much more tolerable. Seriously, as much as I’m not a huge Russell Brand fan, he’s looking better and better as the days go by.

Like I said last week.

And the week before, too.

Also, I love that he’s been educated enough to have read Kurt Vonnegut and is able to correlate ideas from literature and apply their basis in day-to-day events. I mean, that kind of stuff’s probably way over Katy Perry’s reading level. I’ll bet she stopped at Are You There God, It’s Me, Margaret or at the very least, Twilight.

Lastly, Evil Beet’s now on Pinterest! If you don’t know what it is, it’s kind of like Facebook, just without all of the annoying people who feel the need to update you on every bodily function that they engage in or do their best in trying offend everyone with their weirdo BS and only end up being looked at with piteous contempt. There’s also more cool stuff to look at than just I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER. And since it’s sort of all about sharing cool stuff, we thought, ‘Hey, why not. If we’re going to do this thing, we may as well do it right,’ huh?

Check us out and if you’re not already hooked up, request an invite straight through Pinterest and get on the cool kid bus.

Russell Brand Let the Porn World Know He Planned on Leaving Katy Perry Months Ago

So, as the headline reads, Russell Brand was even cluing in those caught in the skinfolds of entertainment that he was getting ready to gear up and cheat with other American sorority wimminz. If you can’t view the video for whatever reason, here’s really the only thing you need to know:

“I am going to meet people from sororities and fraternities. I don’t know what a sorority is except for what I have seen on Nudevista – that they are sort of sex clubs for women. A week of revolution and, more importantly, I am going to learn first-hand about sororities. [Brand takes wedding ring off] I’m just going to place this somewhere very, very safe for the next week.”

The video was posted on Nudevista, which is a porn site that caters to … well, I don’t know. Here’s my most generic of generic answers: People who look at porn. I was kind of afraid to visit the site, to be honest with you, after hearing that Russell himself had a weird sex fetish involving handicapped men in wheelchairs. Sorry, but that’s not stuff that I want to take the chance of possibly encountering, you know?

So, right. Katy Perry‘s estranged husband, a “reformed” sex addict, was chilling out on porno sites and possibly planning to embark on a US tour of American coed puss. She definitely chose a winner, there. The best thing about all this? Rumor has it that Katy’s traveled to the UK to persuade Russell to give their relationship another go.

But if Brand really did take a tour of the country’s best, would you still want him back? Wait, let’s scratch that from the record. Katy took Russell’s hand in marriage despite this kind of stuff. Maybe we’ll see a special appearance from Katy Perry on Nudevista sometime soon, too – just not for the reasons you might think.

Oh: Russell Brand Isn’t Allowed to Attend the People’s Choice Awards

photo of russell brand likes cats pics

I have already gone on and on about how sad the Katy Perry/Russell Brand split is. It is so depressing.

This bears repeating, though: I think the couple is crazy-in-love with each other. Whatever ongoing fight they are in is so stupid.

But this? This is so much worse. The UK Mirror has the deets:

In a bizarre twist of events [Russell Brand,] the Brit comic, 36, has been mysteriously uninvited from a star-studded awards show to avoid a confrontation with estranged wife Katy.

Katy, 27, is collecting a gong for her hit album, singles and tour at the People’s Choice Awards in LA on January 11 where she’s up for seven awards, including Favourite Female Artist.

It will be her first official job since Russ filed for divorce after just 14 months together and both her and Russell had initially been invited.

A source said: “It will be Katy’s big night, a prelude to the Grammys, and now Russell has been strangely left off the list of attendees for the high-profile event.

“It was always going to be awkward for organisers in any case after their shock decision to split. But in order to avoid any awkwardness or confrontation Russ is no longer on the list.”

This. Is. So Awkward. Seriously. This whole thing used to be depressing; now, on top of being depressing, it is awkward! This has become high school crap. What is even going on, here?

I mean, how is disinviting somebody’s still-husband less awkward than simply letting the two people organically run into each other? People, am I wrong?