Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Russell Brand

Russell Brand Sock Watch ’09: Less Pink, More Thigh

Russell Brand's Knee Highs and Short Shorts

That’s right. That’s a picture of Russell Brand’s crotch n’ legs. Happy Thursday, you guys.

For those of you who aren’t keeping up, there was quite a debate over the cloth covering (and not covering) Russell’s legs the other day when he stepped out in a pair of short shorts and hot pink knee socks. Some of you agreed with me that he looked like a fool who was just trying to make a spectacle of himelf, others probably called me a bitch but I only skimmed their comment because I have a massive ego to keep intact and a couple of you said that they were just a nod to his favorite football team back home, West Ham.

Well, here’s another dimension to this thrilling story: Yesterday Russell was seen wearing shorter shorts and redder socks into the gym. For those of you who suggested that he might be repping his love for West Ham with the hot pink pair he was wearing the other day, check out these socks. I don’t know anything about football (American or Euro), but I do recognize those team colors to be West Ham’s. I guess that means that we’ve still got a mystery on our hands: Why would a grown-ass man want to be seen in public in hot pink knee-high socks?

Keep checking back for more updates as Russell Brand Sock Watch ’09 continues to go down before our eyes. I am thrilled to bring you every detail about what this man is putting on his feet to absorb sweat so he doesn’t ruin his sneakers.

Russell Brand Doesn’t Take Himself Seriously and You Shouldn’t Either

Russell Brand's Pink Sock(s)

Hey, everyone! Lighten the hell up! Just because your famous doesn’t mean you can’t run around Hollywood wearing your girlfriend’s socks and your hair in a ponytail. Life isn’t about “being seen”, it’s about what doing what feels natural, especially if you’re a really wild British comedian!

UGH. Screw Russell Brand and his dumb socks. What the hell is wrong with this guy? Is dating a pop star and being famous for screwing chicks and telling jokes not enough for some people? Do you have to walk around town dressed up like a rejected extra from the “Call On Me” video? I don’t hate Russell Brand, but these socks are too much. Too attention whorey. We’re supposed to look at the socks and then look at the man wearing them and say to ourselves “Oh, that’s Russell Brand.”, right? Why else wouldn’t he just put on a pair of ankle socks like everyone else in the world who isn’t a teenage girl. I mean, does he even know what the first thing that comes to mind when seeing pink socks is? (Don’t click that link if you work at one of those places that enforces the NSFW policy. It’s safe for my work, but I don’t know about your situation.)

Katy Perry Reveals Her Former Self

Katy Hudson

Katy Hudson Perry revealed her old headshot on her Twitter page tonight and seemed to have a laugh at her own expense saying, “where are you Katy Hudson? This was my first 8X10 probably around 11 years old… Ahh memory lane…”

It’s no secret that Katy Perry wasn’t always the dark-haired, loudmouth sexpot she is now. Perry started out as a Christian music star because of her family’s devotion to all things Jesus. While the child of super religious parents rebelling is a cliché, Katy Perry sure is the embodiment of that in a lot of ways. I wonder how her parents feel about her new boyfriend and his desire to impregnate her out of wedlock?

Russell Brand Wants to Make Babies With Katy Perry

Katy Perry and Russell Brand

Russell Brand and Katy Perry are getting pretty serious. Talking-about-having-kids serious. Awkward. Can I get a holla from all my commitment phobes in the back? In an interview with GMTV, Rusty said finding Katy has changed his former playboy ways, “It was a deep craving within me – I mistook it for lust. I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough – to get the right one. I’m ever so happy.”

The problem with this is that Russell was known as one of the biggest man sluts out there up until he dated Katy. Now the two are vacationing together, holding hands in public, hanging out with her family and she even wore underwear at the MTV Europe Awards that displayed his name. Sounds like a serious 180 for someone who was running around London screwing whatever had holes not that long ago. One thing that Russell mentioned he wasn’t ready for was marriage, “I don’t know, get married, you say? That would be good, isn’t it? I want to have children – that would be good.”

These two have been dating for what? Three months. Oh, God. It’s one of those. They’re all hyped up on dopamine and their rich people money and they want to just start procreating. I’m going to be really upset if I am writing a Katy Perry baby bump post before Valentine’s Day.

Katy and Russell Continue to Go Public

Katy Perry and Russell Brand

Katy Perry and Russell Brand posed for a very public snuggle sesh on the steps of Russell’s flat today in London. The two, who have only been dating for a few months, seem to be heating up rather quickly. Last night at the EMA’s (the European version of the VMA’s) where Katy was serving as host, she surprised her man by dedicating one of her 12 costume changes to him. Katy wore a red and light blue corset and short-shorts combo (you know, those things she’s always wearing) to represent Russell’s favorite football team West Ham. She even had his nickname “Rusty” stitched on to her butt and the team’s emblem situated on top of her nipples. Uh, save it for the bedroom?

Katy Perry’s Birthday Bash Looked Messy

Katy Perry's 25 Birthday Party

Katy Perry hosted her 25th birthday bash at Sunset Beach last night and amongst the guests were her boyf Russell Brand, Taylor Swift and JoJo… oh, and many Oompa Loompas. Katy’s theme was a white party with Willy Wonka overtones and the guests left with their pristine frocks covered in multi-colored paint. Who knows what went on in there, but it looks fun.

Katy Perry and Russell Brand Are Like, So Spiritual And Deep, You Guys

Image from TMZ.com

Image from TMZ.com

Katy Perry and Russell Brand are dating, which is just stupid. It seems far too contrived to even be real, and despite the fact that I more or less hate her, I do think that Katy Perry is a good girl deep down that won’t possibly stick around with someone as wild as Brand. But whatever. That’s their problem.

This is my problem: The two of them went to go visit Jim Morrison’s grave yesterday. On a “date”. How quaint, right? Russell Brand is teaching Katy about all sorts of things that people are normally cultured on by the time they are her age, like classic rock and Oscar Wilde, and now they’re off to “have a moment” in front of Jim Morrison’s grave. And that makes me ill. The sheer trying too hard-ness is just plain old too much.