Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Russell Brand

Russell Brand Is A Good Person

A photo of Russell Brand

Can we get real for a second? Russell Brand is kind of a beautiful person. Not necessarily physically – not hating, but I’m not into his hair and his cheekbones freak me out – but on the inside, Russell Brand has these moments where he just seems really and truly beautiful. Am I alone on that?

Ok, then listen to this story.

Russell Brand kind of hit a homeless guy with his car yesterday. But wait. He didn’t so much hit the actual man as he did the man’s shopping cart. So Russell hits this man’s shopping cart with his car, and he hops out, runs over to make sure everything’s ok, and then he helps the guy pick up all his stuff.

That’s the story. When I first read about it, I thought “that’s amazing, I definitely have to tell them about this,” but after writing it all out, it’s not actually a big deal. It’s what a decent human being would do, and isn’t it sad that it made me so happy that someone acted like a decent human being?

To finish up this warm and fuzzy tale, I’m going to go ahead and show you my weekly cat picture. Before I took a shower last night, I set out my pajamas on the bed, and when I went to put them on after the shower this is what I found:

Kitties cuddling on top of pajamas! Russell Brand proves that kindness still exists in the world! It’s Friday! Everything is wonderful!

Russell Brand Made A Cat Video for Ellen DeGeneres

And I’m pretty sure that’s the most wonderful sentence I’ve ever written.

Russell Brand, who I actually really, really adore, made the video to celebrate the fact that Ellen‘s talk show has been on television for ten years. Did you know that? It’s obviously an easy fact to check, but it just doesn’t seem like nearly that long, does it? I’m going to take that as a sign of Ellen’s sheer greatness.

But ok, this cat video. This is just completely and totally amazing. I realize that we don’t all have the same opinion on cats, or on Russell Brand, for that matter, but can you cat haters and Russell Brand haters also recognize how perfect this video is? Probably not, huh? And that’s so very sad.

And you know that I can’t let an entire post about a cat video go by without me showing you guys a picture of mine:

This is what happens on my lap every single night. The big one, Archie, has always been really sweet and affectionate, and little JoBangles has always been sweet as well, but in the past couple of weeks he’s taken to sitting on my lap every single time I’m sitting down. He’ll just sit with me for so long, and when I’m washing dishes or folding laundry or whatever, he’ll stand by my feet and wait for me to be done so I can pick him up again. And those are some of the wonders of being a cat lady. Russell understands.

Quotables: Russell Brand Talks Katy Perry Split Again

photo of katy perry and russell brand together pictures

“Sometimes it goes well, sometimes it don’t, but if you sort of sense there’s an incompatibility, then in any relationship regardless of the status of the individual, it kind of is best to go separate ways. I think if you’re someone who’s really into mountain biking, it would be good to go out with someone else who’s into mountain biking, and if you’re really into Eastern mysticism, go out with someone else who into Eastern mysticism. I think if you’re a devoted tennis professional and you get married to a crystal meth addict, you might have trouble … I’ve been in a lot of trouble.”

So … what’s he saying? Does Katy like mountain biking? Did they break up over mountain biking? Because man, I know that if I were married to someone who was always up my ass to go mountain biking (I’m not a fan of mountain biking, or, to be quite honest, exercising much in any form—I’m more of a, “Hey, you go mountain biking, and while you’re gone, I’ll cook a lovely dinner and homemade apple pie, and after dinner, we could watch reruns of I Love Lucy” or some shit and oh by the way I’m going to stay in my pajamas and drink wine the entire damn time, OK?”), then jeez. I’d divorce their sorry exercise-maniac self, too. Gosh.

No, but seriously. Of course I get him. I understand what Russell‘s saying. I’m not a complete moron, I promise. He’s saying that there was just a staggering bit of incompatibility, and I get that. And to be quite honest, though I don’t think his stand-up routine is the funniest thing in the world (my personal favorite? Mitch Hedberg. OH MY GOD was that guy funny as balls), I do seem to like him more and more each and every time he opens his mouth lately.

Russell, +4, Katy -12.

Here’s Mitch, by the way. It’s not his funniest stuff, but even his non-funniest stuff is the funniest stuff I ever heard, which I know, makes no sense. And which is probably why I like Mitch so much, too, because he also makes no sense. That seems to be a common theme with me. Mitch: