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Roseanne Barr

Roseanne Barr Will Never Work in TV Again

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Or so she says, probably until the money runs out. Is that cynical? I can’t help it! In nay case, Roseanne Barr has fallen out with NBC over some bullshit. Basically, the network hired her earlier this year to create a show with Nurse Jackie showrunner Linda Wallem, but the process has been less than stellar and she’s none too pleased about it. We all know that when a celebrity is throwing a fit, there’s only one place to do it: Twitter (read from the bottom on up).

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There’s some missing stuff here that she’s deleted since – stuff about how Wallem apparently went missing for seven weeks and then when she did give Roseanne a script, it was really shitty. The network apparently also wanted to throw out every joke she wrote and censor her ‘brand’.  Oh man.

Yes, Roseanne does have mental health issues and she can come off as… really unstable and detached from reality at times. I don’t think her current self is her best self, but let’s not forget what an amazing feminist icon she was with the sitcom back in the day and what a talent she is underneath the rest of it. Clearly this project isn’t going to come to pass, however. So what’s she gonna do now?

There you have it.

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Stars Without Makeup: Roseanne Barr

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Roseanne recently posted a self-portrait on Twitter and captioned it ever-so-gracefully, “Fat old Jew,” when in actuality, I think she looks pretty good for turning sixty this year. Yeah, you know, it’s not the most flattering of photos, but then again, unless you’re ninety-five pounds soaking wet, anyone‘s going to look kind of funny from a flat-on-the-chest view. Duh.

Also, did you guys know that Roseanne‘s going to be roasted next month? Yeah, by Comedy Central, and it’s going to happen on August 4th. You’ll be able to catch it on Comedy Central on August 11th, if you dare. Glee‘s Jane Lynch will be hosting, and she had this to say about the event:

“I’ve long fantasized of ripping Roseanne Barr a new one. But because I don’t have the cajones to say anything offensive to her face, I will be hosting the proceedings.”

Kent Alterman, who is Head of Original Programming and Production at Comedy Central had this to say about the upcoming roast:

“Although Roseanne appears to be a demure, soft spoken woman eternally committed to the status quo, we believe under the surface is an explosive, trail-blazing cultural revolution. We are honored to Roast her. Celebrating Roseanne’s unprecedented achievements in comedy and television will surely inspire us to make this roast more reminiscent of the classic roasts, where the intimacy of friends jousting with each other came through.

All joking aside, Roseanne is pretty bad-ass. And before you even consider going ahead and calling me crazy and all sorts of other—sniff, sniff—oh-so-hurtful names for saying so, check out an interview she did with New York Magazine from back in 2011. Guaranteed you’ll be right here agreeing with me.

Roseanne Wants Willie Nelson to Be Her Vice President

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Yes, Roseanne is still planning on running for president. If you check out her Twitter, you can see that she’s pretty serious about it, or I guess as serious as you can be while using Twitter for your presidential campaign. Another thing you can see if you check out her Twitter is that she really, really wants Willie Nelson to be her vice president, and this weekend, he accepted! But then he got confused and declined.

I’m assuming that Roseanne has mentioned Willie in her campaign before, but he didn’t respond, so she tweeted this:

Mike Tyson, Jello biafra, woody harrelson any of you’s wanna be Vice??? #callme

But a few hours after that, Willie did respond:

I would be happy to run w u After thinking about it awhile it kept sounding better Are u still interested? Love, Willie

Then Roseanne got super excited and said this:

WILLIE I THANK GOD FOR YOU!! May intelligence help us save our country!! BARR/NELSON2012

And then I guess Willie saw Roseanne’s first tweet of ideas for other possible vice presidents, and he backed out:

I see u are speaking to some1 else regarding ur vp running mate I know whoever ur choice is they will be happy to serve w u

Im not ready 2 get n2 politics I have stayed away this long I am content 2 sit on the sidelines & criticize every1 else

Good luck with your campaign. Love, Willie

Then Roseanne got upset and tried to get Willie back for a while, begging him to DM (direct message, for those of you not in the know) her:

wtf??? I told EVERYONE THAT YOU ACCEPTED, DUDE! you can’t back out now! Your country needs you!

can you DM me please?? you are in politics, you were part of a suit against Monsanto for farmers! can you please follow me 4dm

DM ME-follow me please so I can at least tell you what I am thinking–

PLEASE DON’T BACK OUT-I KNOW IT’S HARD TO BE DAVID AGAINST GOLIATH, but your country needs you-farmers need u!

Please let willie know how badly american farmers need his voice! Please Willie Please don’t change ur mind!!

I choose YOU, and want to talk to you-about all of it-dm me-

I am not going to stop until I can talk to you directly thanks

please dm me-follow me first

dm’d U!

I am waiting to speak with Willie Nelson -sent him my cell phone number & want to speak with him. I told every1 he accepted&I still want him

But alas, Willie still hasn’t responded.  Maybe it’s for the best? Or would you support Roseanne/Nelson in 2012?