There’s a pretty solid chance that you have, since it’s a best-seller, but I hope that I can tell you at least a few things about it that you might not know yet. This entire...
I can’t believe these crazy-asses are still pulling this stuff, seriously. Guys, you don’t need to hide in the back of a damn car, covering your faces and acting like you hate... Or am I the only one, my many facets considered a triune of … you know what? What-the-f-ck ever – I like these damn movies, and even though my twenty-one year-old self would be... The audio is crap, but what do you expect? Someone filmed this on their phone or something while shopping at Target. Have you ever heard the acoustics in Target? They’re amazing... I would. I mean, come on. It’d be all laughs and chucks from the time the heart monitor stopped beeping, because duh, what’s funnier than your blood-starved, emaciated wife... He’s still alright, though, I guess, yes? I mean, he’s not nearly as striking without coal-black eyes and cold, marble skin (and superhuman strength and glittery pecs), but I... You guys, I almost totally forgot! The Entertainment Lawyer who scribes Crazy Days and Nights is finally “naming names,” as is his hallowed New Year’s Day tradition.
Emily... [image removed on request]
The lady in the back seat of the car is Sarah Roemer, and she’s an actress most famous for a role in Disturbia. That, and she was also featured in... If watching this video of everyone’s favorite Twihard didn’t just make your day, then … well, I guess you had a really awful day. And for that, I’m sorry.
But in a... If this is true, then I can’t. I just can’t. I can’t believe in true love, I can’t even believe in happiness. I can’t even believe in myself. Without the... You know what the best thing is about this couple? That they’re absolutely no pretension or confusion as to who they are. They fulfill their red carpet obligations and act in the... You ruin lives, Twilight. Did you know that? With your sparkling men and your lip-biting ladies, you destroy precious lives. I hope you can sleep at night.
Oh, you didn’t do...
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