Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Rihanna

You Can Stand Under My Areola

Rihanna's Nips

Rihanna nipped out for a bite to eat in the West Village earlier this week.

In all fairness, there have been times that I’ve worn what seems to be a perfectly opaque, cheap cotton tank, only to discover that if the light hits it just right you might be able to see through it. But then, I’m one of those crazy old prudes who wears a bra, so no one gets to see my turkey timers.

NYPD Has Apparently Run Out Of Crime To Fight

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Looks like there’s not too much for the New York Police Department to take care of these days because the day after singer Rihanna gave a tattoo illegally at a parlor run by a friend of hers back in July, they slapped the owner of the shop with a hefty fine for allowing an amateur to operate a needle. This information was released today, and while the ticket’s fee has not been released, records show that it could be anywhere between $200 and $2000 dollars.

While I’m apt to complain about concessions being made for celebrities, let’s get real: Rihanna is majorly in to tattoos and is often in the company of artists and has seen a ton of people, including herself, get inked. While it is a crime to allow an unlicensed artist go free with the needle, there’s also far greater crime and safety violations going on in New York City at any given moment. Have we found out who sold the crack to DJ AM yet? I didn’t think so…

Why Is Rihanna Sulking?

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And whilst we’re asking the deepest of questions, why is she carrying a deflated Smurf around on her head?  Pictures of Rihanna shopping and dining in New York City yesterday.

Today In Worst Idea Ever

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How many different hotels do you think there are in New York City?  I don’t know the exact number, but I think we can all agree that there are quite a few.  So, why in the world did Rihanna and Chris Brown — the two who aren’t supposed to be within 50 yards of one another — both stay at the Trump International Hotel & Tower this weekend?

The two singers checked into separate rooms on Friday.  They then spent the next two days coming and going in separate cars.  Saturday evening, Brown checked out, once he realized the press caught on reportedly once he realized Rihanna was staying at the same hotel.  If he did violate the restraining order, it would void his probation and he would be charged with misdemeanor (sigh) assault.  Mark Geragos, Brown’s attorney, was asked about Chris’ whereabouts.  He replied, “I don’t want to be quoted on something hypothetical.”

I’ve had suspicions that these two would eventually get back together.  I am still hoping that I’m wrong.  Please, God.

Fierce!

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Apology video WHAT?

Rihanna don’t care.

The superstar totally pulled off this fashion-forward look at the London premiere of Inglorious Basterds.

Within Striking Distance

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As part of his sentencing, Chris Brown was ordered not to come within 50 yards of Rihanna. But both Rihanna and Brown reportedly want to nix that part of the punishment.

“They think it’s unnecessary and ridiculous,” told a common friend of the protection order that was given at this week’s criminal proceeding….“After [the proceeding], Ri and Chris talked on the phone for almost an hour and really worked at becoming friends. They’re solid now.”

But the two are unable to speak in public to one another… The order of protection gives Brown flexibility at music-industry events, instructing that he cannot come within 10 yards of the Umbrella singer.

Let’s not forget that the petulant pugilist (a.k.a. Chris Brown, a.k.a. fart-head) has a song coming out on his new album entitled “Not My Fault” that is supposedly about a female “singer” who gets “caught up” in a relationship with Brown that goes awry and ends up in the papers– “caught up” being the new, hip street slang for “I have a tiny penis and an anger problem and brutally assaulted my girlfriend.”

The album also reportedly features a duet with hypocritical sack of lies Mary J. Blige, who has suffered domestic abuse in the past.

This whole carnival of stupidity drives me up the wall. You’ve got a music industry whose acceptance of Brown borders on condoning domestic violence,  music stars who continue to work with and defend him, and  a victim who won’t stand up for herself.