Ok, let’s do some imagining. Picture this: you’re in London, partying at a hotel, having a good ol’ time, and then a beautiful woman approaches you. When the woman gets close enough, you realize that she is not an ordinary beautiful woman, but she is actually Rihanna, famed musical artist and general big deal! While you’re still trying to process this, Rihanna asks you to go to a club with her. Do you:
A) Say yes and spend the evening kicking mad game at Rihanna
B) Say yes and spend the evening creeping on Rihanna
C) Say no and spend the evening being a total dumbass because you said no to Rihanna
If you are Sean Kingston, the answer is C. When Rihanna asked him to take her out to a club, Sean said no because he didn’t have any clothes ironed. That was his excuse. That is like saying “Oh sorry, Seth Rogen (or Brad Pitt or Megan Fox or whoever, I’m just currently in love with Seth Rogen), it would be totally cool to go on a date with you, but I’m going to be busy washing my hair tonight.”
At least Sean realizes his error. He says that he “can’t believe” he turned Rihanna down, but that he “couldn’t go out with a superstar looking bad.” But come on, Sean Kingston, you sang a song with Justin Bieber, just buy some clothes. That or take a page from Bieber’s book and just not give a fuck.
While many would argue that there’s always been a diva-like quality to Rihanna, I have to say that I’m a little shocked about how elaborate her tour rider is. TheSmokingGun got their hands on a copy of her list of demands, and while it’s not Mariah-status, baby girl has some pretty specific demands.
In order for RiRi’s performance contracts to hold up, promoters must drape her dressing room in “icy blue chiffon”, provide a plush, animal print rug that she can walk barefoot on and keep things spelling nice with Archipelago Black Forest Candles.
One of the more bizarre demands? No sequined pillows. I’m with her on that, no one wants to put their face on sequins, but can you imagine how many times she was “wronged” in order for this to make an appearance in a legal document?
Have you seen the latest photos of Rihanna’s new ‘do floating around? I found a link to them, clicked on it, and gasped in horror at what I saw. Not since the 7th grade did I see such a monstrosity of a haircut. Remember back in the day when all of the then-”skater” kids wore a bowl-cut that was shaved on the underside, like, all the way up? And sometimes, they’d dye the top a funky color like green (or, ahem, red) and pull it into a greasy-looking ponytail? Uh-huh. That’s totally what this reminded me of.
It’s no secret that I’m alittlebitobsessed with Rihanna’s style, so it should come as no surprise that I am posting fourteen photographs of what she wore while walking around Old Jerusalem with her body guards yesterday. How can you resist her? Even her nails are perfect. That reminds me of a certain song.
A teaser for Rihanna’s Rockstar video came out yesterday. It’s going to be impossible for her to top Rude Boy (from styling to the actual song, it’s one of my favorite things ever) and to be honest, I think this song kind of sucks, but Rihanna knows when to pull out the big guns… or her boobs. Whatever. Check out the 0:23 mark. It’s SFW, technically. I think. I don’t know, I haven’t worked in a real office in four years.
In light of the recent rib injury that Rihanna suffered … that I didn’t even hear about — she’s spoken out to her UK fans, telling them that she has no intention of cancelling shows because of the minor problem.
Reps for Rihanna confirm that the singer did, indeed, suffer a rib injury during a recent tour stop in Switzerland, but she’s recovering nicely and will not deviate from her jam-packed tour schedule. Rihanna spoke to the London-based Evening Standard newspaper regarding her injury:
“Eventually, I had to have it checked out. My ribs are still hurting, but I will be raring to go by London … I’ve had a few injuries, and one thing made another worse.”
Well, good on her. Unless, you know, her injury entailed being, like, pinched on her side by a fan or something, rib injuries are no fucking joke. I had a bruised rib once and it was one of the most painful experiences of my life. I’d rather go through childbirth twice over than have any rib-damage. On the real.
Congrats to Rihanna for not succumbing to the minor ailments that other touring performers sometimes do. You’ve proved it before and this only perpetuates the idea — you’re one strong lady!