Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Q: Where Does Rihanna Wear Her Umbrella ( … Ella … Ella)? A: On Her Head ( … Ed … Ed).

ARGANDA DEL REY, SPAIN - JUNE 05: Singer Rihanna performs on stage during Rock in Rio Madrid Festival on June 5, 2010 in Arganda del Rey, Spain. (Photo by Carlos Alvarez/Getty Images)

Have you seen the latest photos of Rihanna’s new ‘do floating around? I found a link to them, clicked on it, and gasped in horror at what I saw. Not since the 7th grade did I see such a monstrosity of a haircut. Remember back in the day when all of the then-”skater” kids wore a bowl-cut that was shaved on the underside, like, all the way up? And sometimes, they’d dye the top a funky color like green (or, ahem, red) and pull it into a greasy-looking ponytail? Uh-huh. That’s totally what this reminded me of.

What the fuck’s going on in that gorgeous head of yours, Rihanna-girl? I know that it’s pretty hard to eff up perfection, but you’re certainly giving it a pretty good go, huh?

What do you guys think of the lady’s new hairstyle?

Rihanna Was Killin’ It In Jerusalem, Y’All!

Rihanna's Pimpin All Over The World

It’s no secret that I’m a little bit obsessed with Rihanna’s style, so it should come as no surprise that I am posting fourteen photographs of what she wore while walking around Old Jerusalem with her body guards yesterday. How can you resist her? Even her nails are perfect. That reminds me of a certain song.

Rihanna’s Showing a Lot of Boob in ‘Rockstar’

A teaser for Rihanna’s Rockstar video came out yesterday. It’s going to be impossible for her to top Rude Boy (from styling to the actual song, it’s one of my favorite things ever) and to be honest, I think this song kind of sucks, but Rihanna knows when to pull out the big guns… or her boobs. Whatever. Check out the 0:23 mark. It’s SFW, technically. I think. I don’t know, I haven’t worked in a real office in four years.

What do you think of Rihanna’s look and Rockstar?

Rihanna Says, “The Show Will Go On!”

In light of the recent rib injury that Rihanna suffered … that I didn’t even hear about — she’s spoken out to her UK fans, telling them that she has no intention of cancelling shows because of the minor problem.

Reps for Rihanna confirm that the singer did, indeed, suffer a rib injury during a recent tour stop in Switzerland, but she’s recovering nicely and will not deviate from her jam-packed tour schedule. Rihanna spoke to the London-based Evening Standard newspaper regarding her injury:

“Eventually, I had to have it checked out. My ribs are still hurting, but I will be raring to go by London … I’ve had a few injuries, and one thing made another worse.”

Well, good on her. Unless, you know, her injury entailed being, like, pinched on her side by a fan or something, rib injuries are no fucking joke. I had a bruised rib once and it was one of the most painful experiences of my life. I’d rather go through childbirth twice over than have any rib-damage. On the real.

Congrats to Rihanna for not succumbing to the minor ailments that other touring performers sometimes do. You’ve proved it before and this only perpetuates the idea — you’re one strong lady!

Speedy recoveries, girl!

Even Rihanna’s Hot Body Doesn’t Exempt Her From Sporting Some Pretty Major Camel Toe.

Rihanna was photographed during one of her concert stops looking fabulous — with full-frontal camel toe making a cameo appearance.

As far as I’m concerned, Rihanna’s got one of the hottest female bodies out there, but there’s nothing — I repeat, nothing — attractive about sporting camel toe.

You’re not chub in the least, doll, but maybe you can fit a better-fitting bodysuit next time. Unless, you know, you’re like a lot of people out there who totally dig The Cam.

Rude Boy Fever Continues to Sweep the Nation

Today’s a pretty big news day for people like us, kind of. CoCo O’Brien signed a new deal with, of all stations, TBS, the Weinsteins had a “secret weekend meeting” that resulted in a $600 million dollar bid for Miramax, and Jim Carrey wants us all to know that he has his shit together. But there’s something much more important than all of that, you guys. My really awesome friend Blaire pointed me to something far more awesome (and NSFW) than all of that. It’s a video of some freakin’ amazing young man wearing his sisters clothes and singing and dancing to Rihanna’s “Rude Boy”.

I know that it’s only, what? April? There’s probably still snow on the ground in some parts of the country. I don’t know, I’m not a meteorologist. Point is: I think that we’ve already found the Summer 2010 anthem. I’m going to call it now. So what if this song came out like, two months ago? Rude Boy is a forever-jam.

Rihanna’s New Guy Seems Like an Upgrade

Rihanna’s new man, LA Dodger Matt Kemp, seems like a pretty decent guy. He’s no John Mayer, anyway. Matt recently sat down for an interview with FoxSports where he was supposed to be chatting all about baseball, but of course the subject quickly turned to his new lady. Matt definitely acknowledged that he’s been hanging out with RihRih, but like a true gentleman, he didn’t get in to the details.

Hartman: Did you buy [Rihanna] a diamond necklace?

Kemp: (laughter) Come on, guys. Y’all are killing me, man.

Myers: It’s his business … [but] Are you guys dating? Can you clarify that?

Kemp: That’s just a good friend of mine.

Myers: Oh, OK.

Kemp: A very very good friend of mine. And we enjoy hanging out with each other and we’re just having fun.

Hartman: Now is she a baseball fan or…As friends what kind of common interests do you have?

Kemp: She’s a great person that loves to watch basketball. She likes basketball.

Hartman: And you’re a basketball guy, we know that…So you go to games together? You go to Laker games and stuff like that?

Kemp: Yeah, I’ve been to a couple games.

Myers: How did you two meet?

Kemp: How did we meet? (laughter) I thought we were talking about baseball, guys.

Myers: Well, we can. Now Matt you have to be realistic. Look at Lamar Odom. If you’re gonna date somebody who is as attractive, talented, and widely recognized…

Hartman: She’s an amazing girl.

Myers: …That comes with the territory. You know what it’s like being a celebrity in the baseball sense, so this is magnified. Are you ready for all that?

Kemp: Hey, it is what it is. If that’s what it comes with, that’s what it comes with. I’m just gonna continue to keep trying to hit home runs and help my team get to the World Series.

Maybe he’s not the Rude Boy she’s looking for (how freakin’ much do you guys love that song, by the way?), but at least he seems like a decent dude who respects her. That’s the very least that any woman can ask for and I’m not patting the dude on the back for not being a creep, but hey! This is a great turnaround after the whole Chris Brown thing, huh?