Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Rihanna

Rihanna’s Dad Wants Rihanna to Marry Chris Brown

photo of rihanna and chris brown pictures
No, really. I know this is probably pretty surprising, considering the fact that Rihanna’s dad came out last week saying that he loves Chris Brown, but honestly, guys, he wants his daughter to marry the dude that beat the piss out of her that one time three years ago. And this is what he said:

“The family loved Chris Brown before they even met him. I always thought he was extremely talented. He always gave me great respect. Whatever makes her happy. I hope one day she will get married. Everyone adores Chris; he’s a super guy.”

I could seriously, seriously vomit. Is this, like, the Barbadian version of Michael Lohan, or what? This botard, publicly fellating Chris Brown and his TALENT and all of his SUPER-NESS and everything else … it positively reeks of a publicity dick-move. It’s like this guy wants nothing more than Rihanna to marry into (more) fame, and it doesn’t even matter what has to happen in order for this to … well, to happen. And that’s sad, guys. Pathetic.

Quotables: Rihanna Thinks We Need Closure

A photo of Rihanna

“To the world, I feel like there’s no closure. There’s some obsession that’s continued even throughout when we weren’t friends or couldn’t be friends at all. Hated each other. The world hasn’t let go. They haven’t seen any progress in our friendship, because they don’t see anything, really. So now it’s a bit of a fascination, I guess. I don’t know if people will stop soon, but I feel like as soon as they have closure to it, they will. But they’re not on the inside. They can’t see what I see, unless they’re sitting in my point of view. I guess I’ll learn to accept that.”

- Rihanna is, of course, talking about her relationship with Chris Brown.

In the same interview, she also said that she hasn’t been on a date in “like two years” because “no one asks.” Which she says sucks because “I have too many vaginas around me at this point.” LOL @ Rihanna.

But really, I don’t get this. I mean, I know it’s the whole psychology of the domestic abuse victim, so on and so forth, but it’s really, really hard for me to understand. We don’t need closure. We just want her to understand what a bad plan a relationship with Chris Brown is. We just want her to realize that you probably shouldn’t hang out with a dude who viciously assaulted you. And it’s like she doesn’t even get that at all, you know? I have no basis for this, but I assumed that many abuse victims realized on some level that their partner’s behavior is wrong, but with Rihanna is just seems like she doesn’t even know what everyone’s problem is.

So that’s what I would like to have closure with, Rihanna’s ignorance. With the whole Chris Brown aspect, I would just prefer for that not to happen at all, thanks.

And hey, how about that Vogue cover? And how about these photos from Vogue that I’m about to show you? Are you still having feelings about her new haircut?

Now Rihanna Is Getting Breast Implants for Chris Brown

A photo of Rihanna

Man, being Chris Brown‘s girlfriend seems like way, way too much work. I mean, there’s the obvious drawback, but then there’s the cheating, the lying, the mental abuse, and the general douchebaggery. Is his penis worth it? No, really, we’ve all seen it by now: is it worth it?

Apparently he’s got something going for him* though, because we can go ahead and add surgery and body image issues to the list of things that come along with being Chris Brown’s girl. We can do that because there are new reports that poor Rihanna, who has a killer body, is considering getting breast implants because Chris thought it would be a good idea.

From the Enquirer via Celebitchy:

Rihanna wants to boost her bust – because, according to a source, Chris Brown said she’d be “totally hot” with bigger boob! Rihanna is not out shopping for a plastic surgeon who will pump her up “at least one bra size,” a friend of Rihanna’s tells the Enquirer.

“It’s horrifying seeing how much control Chris still has over her,” said the friend. “It’s like she’s hypnotized.”

Friends are concerned that Rihanna’s fixation with Chris has now spiraled out of control. Although she has publicly joked in the past about having “no boobs,” she never seriously considered going under knife – until now.

“Rihanna’s always been insecure about her cleavage,” revealed the friend, “but Chris’s comment has spurred her on to really do something about it. Rihanna can’t help herself. What she really wants is something she can’t have – a committed relationship with Chris.”

A “friend” of Rihanna’s also said that if she and Chris eloped, “no one close to them would be a bit shocked.”  Oh, and also “she would have never left him if the media scrutiny didn’t get so bad.”

Great ideas!  Great ideas all around!  Let’s just close up shop here, friends, because there are no better ideas to be had in all the world. Somebody better travel to some far off land to check and see if they have any better ideas, because we’ve obviously topped ourselves on this planet.

*Manipulation. It’s manipulation.

Chris Brown Will “Try to Be Faithful” to Rihanna

A photo of Chris Brown and Rihanna

What a charmer, huh? Chris Brown will try to be faithful to you, and he probably won’t even beat you too much maybe! No promises though. You can’t tie down a man like Chris Brown.

From Hollywood Life:

Chris Brown is telling friends that he will “TRY to be faithful” to Rihanna, his now on-again girlfriend, since the R&B star split with girlfriend, Karrueche Tran, on October 4.

“He will try to be faithful to Ri, as faithful as he can to her,” a source exclusively reveals to HollywoodLife.com “He ain’t trying to hurt her feelings. He ain’t trying to get her all twisted up.”

Earlier this month, Chris and Rihanna had a week long NYC rendezvous while Karrueche was in also in town.  And, while the rapper technically cheated on Karrueche, his friends say that won’t be the case with the Rihanna.

“He will do his best. I mean, he’s a man at heart and it’s hard for him to turn down women when they come to him so freely,” our source reveals.  “But he did drop KT for Ri and told Ri he loves her so what that tell you? He know she right for him.”

As HollywoodLife.com previously reported, now that Chris has officially broken up with Karrueche, he has more than enough time to talk to Rihanna, and he’s making her his number one priority.

“Ri and Chris talk every day,” a source exclusively reveals to HollywoodLife.com “She be missing him like crazy [but] now that they back together she want to see him all the time. Guess those years away made her miss him real tough.”

F-ck Chris Brown and f-ck this guy, too. If Chris really was “a man at heart,” he would never have done half the shit he’s done. Chris Brown’s buddy is implying that Chris is a mature, respectable adult, and I think we all know how absurd that idea is. He’ll “try to be faithful,” f-ck you.

Sorry for all the cusses, friends, but this whole thing is just so off-putting to me. And probably to everyone. Everyone except Rihanna.

Love It or Leave It: Rihanna’s New Album Cover

A photo of Rihanna

In between story after story (after story) (sorry I’m not sorry) about the reunion of Rihanna and Chris Brown, you might have forgotten that Rihanna is releasing a new album soon. The release date is November 19th, and as I’m sure you couldn’t tell, the title of the album is Unapologetic.

But really, this album cover sucks. It’s just so busy with all the words, isn’t it? I mean, I think once you decide to put a Twitter hashtag on the cover of your album, it’s time to rethink things. And what do all these words mean? At first I thought they were names of songs, since “Diamonds” is on there, but that would mean that she has songs like “#Navy” and “Chalice” on there, which seems odd. Really, either Rihanna just doodled a bunch of words and shit over a topless photo of herself and called it an album cover or she’s coming up with awesome hits such as “7″ and, my favorite, of course, “Chalice.” Either way, things aren’t looking so great.

But what do you think of the cover?

Rihanna’s Dad Is Still in Love with Chris Brown, Too

A photo of Ronald Fenty and Rihanna

Rihanna‘s dad is a dick. There, I said it. He’s a big, gross, stinky ol’ dick. He’s always said that Chris Brown should get back with his daughter because “he’s a nice guy,” but also because he used to beat Rihanna’s mom, so he’s totally cool with Chris.

But see, now that Chris has officially broken up with his official girlfriend, Karreuche, that means, of course, that it’s the perfect time for him to get back with Rihanna. And far be it from Rihanna’s dad to discourage that reunion:

Rihanna’s father has “no problem” with her getting back with Chris Brown.

The 24-year-old singer’s dad Ronald Fenty approves of his daughter’s reconciliation with her ex-boyfriend – who was arrested for violently assaulting her in 2009 – and thinks the pair will make each other happy now Chris has split from model Karreuche Tran.

He told In Touch Weekly magazine: “I know they love each other. They always have. She’s happiest when she’s around him, and as long as she’s happy, I am happy and the whole world should be too.”

Rihanna’s dad has given the couple his blessing despite Chris’ past mistakes and insists the star deserves a second chance because he is a respectful and charismatic person that he has a lot of “love” for.

Ronald enthused: “I think everyone makes mistakes and they shouldn’t be held to them forever. Everyone should be forgiven once. There’s a lot more to Chris than the whole world knows. I love Chris, man. He’s got so much charisma. And he’s always had so much respect for me. That’s what I love about him. He’s always shown me respect.”

The superstar’s father also praised Chris’ many talents, gushing about his “super-talented” singing and dancing as well as his design skills.

This is just so disgusting to me. “It’s cool that you almost killed my daughter because you’ve always been ok to me, and also I like your dance moves,” that’s basically what Rihanna’s dad is saying here. And that’s awful.

Chris Brown: “I Dumped Karreuche Because of Rihanna, Y’all.”

photo of chris brown single pictures
From E! Online via Chris‘s publicist:

“I have decided to be single to focus on my career. I love Karrueche very much, but I don’t want to see her hurt over my friendship with Rihanna. I’d rather be single, allowing us to both be happy in our lives.”

Emily was right, guys. It is on. Damn. Also, it’s about time Karreuche stopped being a doormat. Even if she was forced away from being a doormat.

What do you guys think—will Chris and Rihanna be spotted out more and more frequently ’til there’s just no mistake that they’re totally boning? (Because if you can read between the lines as it is, they’re totally boning.)

Chris and Rihanna:
View Results