Remember Chris Brown’s cheeseball performance of a Michael Jackson tribute at the BET awards last month? Those wretched, gag-a-maggot tears that were allegedly triggered by eye drops, and not because Brown has a feeling bone in his body, with the exception of his penis?

It sounds like ex-girlfriend Rihanna didn’t hear about his alleged eye drop usage, because she and Brown have reportedly reconciled (as friends, don’t worry) their differences, as Rihanna was “moved” that Brown was able to show such emotion — and not, you know, the blacked-out violence kind-of-emotion that Brown has exhibited in the past. According to a “friend” of the former couple:

“It’s been almost a year since they last spoke, but Rihanna felt like she could try to be friends with Chris again. Seeing how emotional he was on set [at the BET Awards] really touched her. She’d never seen him like that before. Chris [also] told her that he felt like he’s grown up in the past year. He’s said he’s so happy to be back in touch with her. They were each other’s first love and he’s missed her so much. Rihanna knows that if he wanted him back, he’d be there in a second.”

Uh, you know, just because you were once someone’s “first love” doesn’t mean that they automatically earn a place in your life — or your heart — down the road. Especially if the relationship ended under the circumstances that Rihanna and Chris’s did.

If, you know, you want to forgive Chris for what he did, Rihanna, more power to you. I think it’s an amazing thing when people can look inside themselves to really let go of the malicious and horrific things that some people in our past have done to us, and it’s really a gift to be able to do so. But there’s no reason to bring that person from your past back into your present.  Ihave no explanation for that — I just stand firm in my opinion that there’s just not.

Ok, let’s do some imagining.  Picture this:  you’re in London, partying at a hotel, having a good ol’ time, and then a beautiful woman approaches you.  When the woman gets close enough, you realize that she is not an ordinary beautiful woman, but she is actually Rihanna, famed musical artist and general big deal!  While you’re still trying to process this, Rihanna asks you to go to a club with her.  Do you:

A)  Say yes and spend the evening kicking mad game at Rihanna

B)  Say yes and spend the evening creeping on Rihanna

C)  Say no and spend the evening being a total dumbass because you said no to Rihanna

If you are Sean Kingston, the answer is C.  When Rihanna asked him to take her out to a club, Sean said no because he didn’t have any clothes ironed.  That was his excuse.  That is like saying “Oh sorry, Seth Rogen (or Brad Pitt or Megan Fox or whoever, I’m just currently in love with Seth Rogen), it would be totally cool to go on a date with you, but I’m going to be busy washing my hair tonight.”

At least Sean realizes his error.  He says that he “can’t believe” he turned Rihanna down, but that he “couldn’t go out with a superstar looking bad.”  But come on, Sean Kingston, you sang a song with Justin Bieber, just buy some clothes.  That or take a page from Bieber’s book and just not give a fuck.

While many would argue that there’s always been a diva-like quality to Rihanna, I have to say that I’m a little shocked about how elaborate her tour rider is. TheSmokingGun got their hands on a copy of her list of demands, and while it’s not Mariah-status, baby girl has some pretty specific demands.

In order for RiRi’s performance contracts to hold up, promoters must drape her dressing room in “icy blue chiffon”, provide a plush, animal print rug that she can walk barefoot on and keep things spelling nice with Archipelago Black Forest Candles.

One of the more bizarre demands? No sequined pillows. I’m with her on that, no one wants to put their face on sequins, but can you imagine how many times she was “wronged” in order for this to make an appearance in a legal document?

Have you seen the latest photos of Rihanna’s new ‘do floating around? I found a link to them, clicked on it, and gasped in horror at what I saw. Not since the 7th grade did I see such a monstrosity of a haircut. Remember back in the day when all of the then-”skater” kids wore a bowl-cut that was shaved on the underside, like, all the way up? And sometimes, they’d dye the top a funky color like green (or, ahem, red) and pull it into a greasy-looking ponytail? Uh-huh. That’s totally what this reminded me of.

What the fuck’s going on in that gorgeous head of yours, Rihanna-girl? I know that it’s pretty hard to eff up perfection, but you’re certainly giving it a pretty good go, huh?

What do you guys think of the lady’s new hairstyle?

It’s no secret that I’m a little bit obsessed with Rihanna’s style, so it should come as no surprise that I am posting fourteen photographs of what she wore while walking around Old Jerusalem with her body guards yesterday. How can you resist her? Even her nails are perfect. That reminds me of a certain song.

A teaser for Rihanna’s Rockstar video came out yesterday. It’s going to be impossible for her to top Rude Boy (from styling to the actual song, it’s one of my favorite things ever) and to be honest, I think this song kind of sucks, but Rihanna knows when to pull out the big guns… or her boobs. Whatever. Check out the 0:23 mark. It’s SFW, technically. I think. I don’t know, I haven’t worked in a real office in four years.

What do you think of Rihanna’s look and Rockstar?