Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Reese Witherspoon

Robert Pattinson Wants Whoever Leaked Those ‘Breaking Dawn’ Stills To Be Murdered

If you give a shit about Robert Pattinson and Reese Witherspoon‘s new flick Water for Elephants, feel free to watch this entire clip, but if you want to skip ahead to the part where he calls whoever has been leaking stills from Breaking Dawn an “annoying person” who should be “murdered”, cut right ahead to 1:59.

When asked by PopSugar reporter Lindsay if there was anything that’s been shot for Breaking Dawn that he’s particularly excited for the fans to see, Robert goes on about how it’s just so nice that Bella and Edward finally get to be happy in this film. Then he goes on to say, “I think most of the fans have already seen the movie. It got leaked by some annoying person. Oh, that’s right, I keep forgetting that I’ve got to put a little message out there. If any of the Twilight fans out there know who leaked it, kill them. Destroy them. And also, find out who hacked my email address.”

Sure, he said it with that charming British chuckle, but uhhh… I’m pretty sure someone’s going to wind up dead now. If anyone would take their favorite celeb’s orders to have someone whacked, it’s the Twihards. In fact, I’m kind of afraid they’re going to come after our Emily…

Do You Want to Hear About Reese Witherspoon’s Wedding?

A photo of Reese Witherspoon and Jim Toth

Of course you do, so let’s not waste time.

Reese has a ranch in Ojai, California, and that’s where the wedding took place.  There were 120 guests, including the likes of Renee Zellweger, Tobey Maguire (aww, remember Pleasantville?), Robert Downey Jr., and Sean Penn with Scarlett Johansson.  The groom and Reese’s children walked down the aisle to “The Tennessee Waltz,” which I think is charming, and Reese went with the traditional “Here Comes the Bride.”  She wore a custom Monique Lhuillier dress, and that’s about all the information there is right now.

I just love Reese Witherspoon, can you tell?  Here’s hoping that she has millions of adorable babies with her new husband and they live the rest of their years together out on the ranch, slopping pigs and wrangling cattle to their hearts’ content. Unless Reese wants to make another Legally Blonde sequel. Then she’s welcome back anytime.

Happy Wedding Day, Reese Witherspoon!

A photo of Reese Witherspoon and Jim Toth

How much do we love Reese Witherspoon?  SO MUCH, right? Great, so let’s send this girl our best wishes on her special day!

Reese is going to marry Jim Toth, her boyfriend since January of last year, in a private ceremony at her home today.  And by “private,” I mean that she’s apparently made her guests sign an agreement saying that they won’t discuss the wedding with the press.  Judging by that little tidbit, I think it’ll probably be a while before we get any wedding photos (what a shame, right?), so let’s do the next best thing and look at a gallery of Reese being beautiful throughout the years, from this year’s Academy Awards to the premiere of Cruel Intentions in 1999. Enjoy!

Reese Witherspoon is Engaged, Should Have Married Her Last Boyfriend as Far as I’m Concerned

photo of reese witherspoon jim toth pictures

Reese Witherspoon, who’s been dating that Jim Toth agent guy for awhile now, has confirmed to her fans that she, yes, is engaged. Toth apparently proposed over the Christmas break and Reese happily obliged.

Jim seems like a cool guy and what not, and he’s not hard on the eyes, but she used to wake up next to Jake Gyllenhaal. And she kicked him to the curb.

I’ll be honest – I heaved a humongous sigh of relief when the Witherspoon/Philippe marriage went belly-up, because ever since I Know What You Did Last Summer, I thought that Ryan Philippe was the height of deep-voiced pretentiousness and no one like that deserves to woo and win the heart of Miss Sweet Home Alabama. Except Jake Gyllenhaal.

And when she did move on to Jake, good old long-term relationship Jake Gyllenhaal, sparks of happiness were emitted from my cold, bitchy heart and I thought, ‘Yes, this is a celebrity relationship that I could really sink my teeth into.’ But you know what?  It all comes to an end eventually.

So on that note, congratulations, Reese, Jim. But bear in mind my sage offering of advice that, indeed, nothing good on this earth lasts.

Can’t wait to see photos of your wedding!

Reese and Her New Man Seem Pretty Cozy

Reese Witherspoon and her new boyfriend Jim Toth were snapped getting breakfast together in LA this morning. The two were affectionate and seemed comfortable around each other. How else could you explain why Reese was shoveling food into her mouth and doing some serious Jim Carrey shit with her face? Considering Reese is still kind of fresh off of her break-up with Jake Gyllenhaal, I have to wonder if this Jim bro is a total rebound, or perhaps the next big thing in her life.

Fake Couple Jake and Reese Fake Break-Up, Jake is Fake Heartbroken

Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal

Aw, well, that was a fun little game while it lasted, wasn’t it?

I am hesitant to even report on this “break-up” because I think we all knew that the whole “Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal are dating” thing was a massive ruse dreamed up by some managers or PR people somewhere to give their clients a sense of normalcy in the press. I don’t know if you are all as in to the whole blind item scene as much as I am, but just in case, scroll through the archives of “Toothy Tile” on Blind Items Exposed and catch up for a second. Toothy Tile has been rumored to be Jake forever and pretty much everyone beside Jake has been eliminated by E! gossip gal Ted Casablanca at some point or another (please note how he refers to them as “cute-in-public”.)

Reese was Jake’s temporary beard, if you believe these sorts of things (and I very much do.) He’ll get set up with another KiKi Dunst or Reese just like he’s always been in a couple months and he and his boyfriend can continue to live life privately and at their own pace. However, if you buy the hot pile of crap that Us Weekly is selling this week, you’ll see that Jake’s not dealing so well with the seperation from the woman he’s probably never even seen naked:

After nearly three years together, Reese Witherspoonand Jake Gyllenhaal called it quits in early December. “It broke his heart,” an insider reveals in the new issue of Us Weekly.

A source close to Gyllenhaal, 29, explains that the once-golden couple “fought constantly in the past few months,” and that the relationship concluded over a series of phone calls.

Adds another source, “No one cheated. There was no drama.”

Here’s where I’d normally make a statement about how this probably sucks for them but it sounds like they’re handling it maturely and I hope that this doesn’t take any toll on Reese’s kids, who were supposedly close to Jake. HOWEVER! I don’t believe a word of it! Never have! They’re just two good-looking people linked up by Hollywood to have their photos taken. If you’re attractive, famous and you can stand the person you’re supposed to hang out with, you’d be stupid not to do this unless you’re George Clooney. Then you just fuck whatever walks your way, especially if it’s me that’s walking his way. Wait, what?

Point is: I’m pretty sure Jake, his boyfriend, Reese and the kids are all going to come away from this just fine and having received exactly the right amount of press to make it worth it.