Aw, well, that was a fun little game while it lasted, wasn’t it?
I am hesitant to even report on this “break-up” because I think we all knew that the whole “Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal are dating” thing was a massive ruse dreamed up by some managers or PR people somewhere to give their clients a sense of normalcy in the press. I don’t know if you are all as in to the whole blind item scene as much as I am, but just in case, scroll through the archives of “Toothy Tile” on Blind Items Exposed and catch up for a second. Toothy Tile has been rumored to be Jake forever and pretty much everyone beside Jake has been eliminated by E! gossip gal Ted Casablanca at some point or another (please note how he refers to them as “cute-in-public”.)
Reese was Jake’s temporary beard, if you believe these sorts of things (and I very much do.) He’ll get set up with another KiKi Dunst or Reese just like he’s always been in a couple months and he and his boyfriend can continue to live life privately and at their own pace. However, if you buy the hot pile of crap that Us Weekly is selling this week, you’ll see that Jake’s not dealing so well with the seperation from the woman he’s probably never even seen naked:
After nearly three years together, Reese Witherspoonand Jake Gyllenhaal called it quits in early December. “It broke his heart,” an insider reveals in the new issue of Us Weekly.
A source close to Gyllenhaal, 29, explains that the once-golden couple “fought constantly in the past few months,” and that the relationship concluded over a series of phone calls.
Adds another source, “No one cheated. There was no drama.”
Here’s where I’d normally make a statement about how this probably sucks for them but it sounds like they’re handling it maturely and I hope that this doesn’t take any toll on Reese’s kids, who were supposedly close to Jake. HOWEVER! I don’t believe a word of it! Never have! They’re just two good-looking people linked up by Hollywood to have their photos taken. If you’re attractive, famous and you can stand the person you’re supposed to hang out with, you’d be stupid not to do this unless you’re George Clooney. Then you just fuck whatever walks your way, especially if it’s me that’s walking his way. Wait, what?
Point is: I’m pretty sure Jake, his boyfriend, Reese and the kids are all going to come away from this just fine and having received exactly the right amount of press to make it worth it.