3Reese Witherspoon Hit by Car

Late yesterday morning, Reese Witherspoon was hit by a car. She was apparently out for a jog, when an eighty-four year-old woman failed to slow down at an intersection, striking Reese with her car. The elderly woman was cited by police for failure to yield to pedestrians and received a fine. According to a source at NBC LA:

“Witherspoon suffered minor injuries and was transported by ambulance to a local hospital for medical treatment.” He [also] added that the actress was at home tonight recovering.

This just reinforces my stance that most people – especially the elderly – need to be retested for their driver’s license yearly after a certain age. I don’t know what age. I’m not a legislator, it’s not up to me. But as everyone knows, as you get older, you lose a certain percentage of your reflexes and depth perception is the first to go when your vision starts to deteriorate. I don’t care how good a driver your eighty-nine year-old Uncle Carmen is, not everyone is as sprightly as you say he is, and they shouldn’t be behind the wheel. This story up above? Well. I rest my case.

September 8, 2011 at 6:30 am by Sarah

3Is Reese Witherspoon Pregnant?

I have a little story for you! Reese Witherspoon, as you can see above, was photographed leaving a doctor’s office yesterday afternoon. A famous gynecologist’s office. Wearing, well … I’m not even sure what she’s got going on in these photos, but it’s pretty weird. I’m also wondering what’s in that little brown sack of hers there, too. Nasty prenatal vitamins? An old, busted-up diaphragm?

Plus, she had a hand over her face. If that hand isn’t concealing a shit-eating “I’m PREGNANT!” grin, nothing is.

July 13, 2011 at 7:30 am by Sarah

7Quotables: Reese Witherspoon Has Some Advice For You Racy Girls

“I get it, girls, that it’s cool to be a bad girl. But it is possible to make it in Hollywood without doing a reality show. When I came up in this business, if you made a sex tape, you were embarrassed and you hid it under your bed. And if you took naked pictures of yourself on your cell phone, you hide your face, people! Hide your face!”

The consistently adorable Reese Witherspoon takes time for some real talk during her acceptance speech for the Generation Award at last night’s MTV Movie Awards.

That’s probably some of the best advice I’ve heard in a good long while, “hide your face.” Seriously, either embrace it or keep it private, because I’m over hearing celebrities bitch about getting banged on camera.  Who’s with me and Reese?

June 6, 2011 at 12:30 pm by Emily

0Reese Witherspoon Celebrates Easter by Putting Eggs in Her Socks; What Do You Do?

OMG, you guys, how great is Easter?  For me, my favorite holidays have to be Halloween, then Christmas, then Valentine’s Day, then Easter, but Valentine’s Day and Easter are super close.  I know that my fourth favorite holiday might not sound like a huge deal, but I’m a girl who makes a fuss over Arbor Day, ok, so yeah, it is a huge deal.  Despite the facts that I don’t get Easter baskets anymore (total bummer) and that Easter was the holiday on which my grandmother locked me in the bathroom until I was ready to confess my sins and fight my way out of Satan’s clutches, I will still be just as pleased as punch this whole day.

Enough about me, let’s let Reese Witherspoon tell us about what she does on Easter with her new husband and her cute kids:

“I was trying to think of new games you can play. So I went online and there’s this game where you stuff as many eggs into your tube socks as possible. And then you have to run a race. And whoever ends up at the end of the race with the least amount of broken eggs wins!

“It’s actually super fun, because the adults get competitive. We started whacking each other’s shins and ankles, grabbing each other, taking each other down. Especially me, because I’m a little bit competitive. Literally, it’s disgusting. And it smells like rotten eggs for about three weeks. But it’s fun.”

Either that’s the most adorable thing I’ve ever heard or I’m just mad hormonal and blissed out on Jesus’ magic.  Either way, happy Easter, you guys!

April 24, 2011 at 8:00 am by Emily

1Robert Pattinson Wants Whoever Leaked Those ‘Breaking Dawn’ Stills To Be Murdered

If you give a shit about Robert Pattinson and Reese Witherspoon‘s new flick Water for Elephants, feel free to watch this entire clip, but if you want to skip ahead to the part where he calls whoever has been leaking stills from Breaking Dawn an “annoying person” who should be “murdered”, cut right ahead to 1:59.

When asked by PopSugar reporter Lindsay if there was anything that’s been shot for Breaking Dawn that he’s particularly excited for the fans to see, Robert goes on about how it’s just so nice that Bella and Edward finally get to be happy in this film. Then he goes on to say, “I think most of the fans have already seen the movie. It got leaked by some annoying person. Oh, that’s right, I keep forgetting that I’ve got to put a little message out there. If any of the Twilight fans out there know who leaked it, kill them. Destroy them. And also, find out who hacked my email address.”

Sure, he said it with that charming British chuckle, but uhhh… I’m pretty sure someone’s going to wind up dead now. If anyone would take their favorite celeb’s orders to have someone whacked, it’s the Twihards. In fact, I’m kind of afraid they’re going to come after our Emily…

April 4, 2011 at 3:30 pm by Molls

1Do You Want to Hear About Reese Witherspoon’s Wedding?

Of course you do, so let’s not waste time.

Reese has a ranch in Ojai, California, and that’s where the wedding took place.  There were 120 guests, including the likes of Renee Zellweger, Tobey Maguire (aww, remember Pleasantville?), Robert Downey Jr., and Sean Penn with Scarlett Johansson.  The groom and Reese’s children walked down the aisle to “The Tennessee Waltz,” which I think is charming, and Reese went with the traditional “Here Comes the Bride.”  She wore a custom Monique Lhuillier dress, and that’s about all the information there is right now.

I just love Reese Witherspoon, can you tell?  Here’s hoping that she has millions of adorable babies with her new husband and they live the rest of their years together out on the ranch, slopping pigs and wrangling cattle to their hearts’ content. Unless Reese wants to make another Legally Blonde sequel. Then she’s welcome back anytime.

March 27, 2011 at 8:30 am by Emily