This is a bizarre and unexpected story. Cindy Crawford and her husband Rande Gerber filed court documents saying that Edis Kayalar, a friend of their former nanny, was threatening to sell the photo of the couple’s freakishly adorable 7-year-old daughter, Kaia. The photo depicts her “bound to a chair and gagged” as part of the nanny’s “cops and robbers game.” She is wearing shorts and a T-shirt in the photo.

I read the entire legal filing (it’s on TMZ), and this is a really screwed up story. Basically, the nanny had showed this Kayalar person the photo she took, and I guess her plan was to stick it on Cindy and Rande’s door as some sort of retaliation for being fired. But she decided not to, and then Kayalar stole the photo and made a bunch of phone calls to Cindy and Rande, threatening to sell it to the tabloids. They immediately contacted the authorities, and at one point Rande even gave the guy $1000 for the photograph. But then he wound up getting deported to Germany, and started demanding a bunch more money. The FBI got involved, and eventually it wound up in court.

TMZ claims that someone tried to sell them the same photo six weeks ago, and they passed, so I wonder how many other news organizations passed on this photo. Tabloids will do some dirty things, but publishing upsetting pictures of an innocent 7-year-old girl seems to be beneath everybody. Good for them!

I guess what really scares me here is how hard it is even for really, really rich people to find a trustworthy nanny. I mean, what the hell kind of nanny plays a game in which she gags your little kid and takes photos? And then responds to being let go by showing the photos to creepy people? Sooo scary and messed up. You can’t trust nannies! That’s why I’m just going to send my kids to boarding school.

Listen. It’s been a really shitty summer. Not just in the celebrity world, but it feels like in my own world, among my friends, there have been a slew of sudden deaths and sudden break-ups. Isn’t summer supposed to be about health and love? It’s not feeling like that at all this summer. Is this just me or have your summers been better? I’m personally ready for summer to be over — I feel like I’m limping through August at this point. I feel so drained. I hope autumn brings better tidings.

So I find these pictures of Cindy Crawford and Rande Gerber bittersweet. They’ve been married eleven years and they still look absolutely in love with each other. They look like they’re loving summer, out with friends on the French Riviera. Maybe summer is less depressing in Europe this year? On one hand, it’s heartening — I’m glad at least some couples are making their marriages last, and happily. On the other hand, it’s depressing — because I’m jealous that they’re having a fantastic summer and I’m sitting at home praying for rain. Either way, they’re both freakishly gorgeous and successful and perfect and I will probably never have anything remotely resembling their lives. What? You wanted me to end this on a happy note? IT IS NOT A HAPPY SUMMER.