Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Queen Latifah

Jessica Simpson Dreams Big

At the White House Correspondents’ dinner last night, Jessica Simpson revealed her one true wish:  to be Michelle Obama.

“I really do [want to be Michelle Obama].  She’s such an incredible woman, and she’s with such a powerful man. Everything she does she exudes confidence.  I’m really just here to celebrate her.”

Shoot for the moon, Jess.  Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.

On the topic of stars, the Correspondents’ dinner was full of them.  Guests included Justin Bieber (who, in my opinion, is the songbird of this generation), Jessica Alba, the Jonas Brothers, Dennis Quaid, Kim Kardashian, Scarlett Johansson, Gabourey Sidibe, Queen Latifah, and a good few more.  Check out the gallery to see such things as Justin Bieber and Marlon Wayans flashing gang signs and Gabourey Sidibe being in desperate need of a new stylist (and before you guys hate on me, I’m not saying anything about her being a big girl, I’m just saying that there are ways to flatter every body type, and homegirl needs to work that out).

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The Oscars – The Dresses (Part III)

I happen to adore Elizabeth Banks’ elegant grey dress (above). It should be noted, however, that the opinions expressed in this article and the two previous ones are not necessarily the opinions of Evilbeet.com. Sasha’s take on the gown? “Love Eilzabeth Banks. Haaaate her dress.”
Nicole Richie wore a beaded snuggie that showed off her back tatoos and Jennifer Lopez showed up wrapped in a mattress pad. I wonder if she and Amanda Seyfried had it out backstage; they’re pretty much wearing mirror images of the same roll of two-ply toilet paper.

Sarah Jessica Parker was there, but as usual, I can’t figure out whether she looks gorgeous and glamorous, or like a fashion victim with a hangover.

Also in this group: Tina Fey, Stana Katic, Queen Latifah, Monique, Molly Ringwald, Mariska Hargitay, Jane Seymour, and Super Classy Bitch Helen Mirren.

Quotables


“I want to just go down there and get some of those babies. If you got a hook up, please get me a couple of Haitian kids. It’s time. I’m ready. I got two arms, I can handle at least two. I can take a third in a backpack, and one in the front, we could just wrap it in some swaddling cloth… give me four.”

–Queen Latifah, discussing her plans to adopt Haitian children.

Queen Latifah Loves Herself

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After years of struggling with her body image issues, Queen Latifah has come to a place of acceptance regarding her curves.  As she tells it, a chance encounter with a driver changed her perspective:

I was in Utah for the Sundance Film Festival. I was at the airport and the limo driver told me about his 12-year-old daughter, who wanted to be a singer and had a beautiful voice. However, her classmates were teasing her about her body and telling her she was never going to make it.
She saw me perform on TV and I inspired her to sing again. She saw me and my appearance and my success and the great job I did. This was a 12-year-old kid whose dream had been halted by negative comments, but she saw me deliver a knock-out performance and it made her believe she could become successful too.

Well, Queen, it’s awesome that you’ve found a way to accept yourself.  But it prompts me to ask:  Why do you hawk weight-loss products?

Stiffed By The Queen

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Queen Latifah had a birthday bash this past weekend at SIR Studios in Hollywood.  Attendees included Kim Kardashian, Lil’ Kim and Vivica Fox-all of whom brought their twins, or you know, massive chests.  Let’s hope Queen’s friends gave her money as a gift; it sounds like she’s going to need it.

Latifah’s cosmetologist and stylist are both suing her for unpaid salary for work they did for the Cover Girl campaign as well as Queen’s own Curvations intimate apparel line.  The lawsuits total $1M.

And if that’s not enough to properly ding Queen’s wallet, how long will it be until Jenny Craig sues her for breach of contract?  Because I’m still trying to see where she has used their products to help her get to a “healthy weight.”

Oh, and when you see the picture of Patricia Field in the gallery, focus on the fact that she was the stylist for Sex And The City. Just, wow.

Forget About Chris Brown For A Minute…

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Can we issue a warrant for the arrest of Gwyneth Paltrow’s stylist?  Her Grammy ensemble left me dumb and blind for several minutes.

Also behind the scenes at the Grammy Awards, Nicole Kidman’s facial muscles have left the building, Queen Latifah is still working on her healthy weight, Leann Rimes’ husband struck the “Yes, she’s pregnant!” pose,  and Katy Perry’s performance dress completely cancels out all the positive that had been accomplished by her red carpet look.

Getting Rid of Bobby Brown Was The Best 180 Pounds Whitney Houston Ever Dropped

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Whitney appeared at the 2nd Annual BET Honors Show this weekend looking fanfuckingtastic!

And I don’t mean to be insensitive, but wasn’t Queen Latifah announced as the new Jenny Craig spokesmodel, like, over a year ago?  She was all over my television telling me how she was going to eat pre-packaged crap and get to the ever-ambiguous “healthy weight”.  Uh, did she eat all the pre-packaged crap at once?  I only ask because Queen L 2009 looks exactly like Queen L 2008 and Queen L 2007.  Or am I wrong?  I don’t pay too much attention to her body; I spend a lot more time contemplating how much easier her life will be once she comes out of the closet.  And yes, I realize what it says about me that I put anyenergy towards thinking about who Queen Latifah sleeps with. 

Anyway, I’ve got plenty of love for the big girls, but I’m sorry.  Queen hawking weight loss goods is the equivalent of Michelle Duggar doing a Yaz commercial.