Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Prince William

Prince William is a Hero, Duh

photo of prince harry and william pictures rescue pic
He’s a humanitarian, he quite resembles his mother (thankfully), he married a really sweet-seeming girl, and now he’s saving girls’ lives. Is there anything Prince William can’t do (besides look more like his super-hot ginger brother, Harry)? No, there’s probably not.

If you haven’t heard, Prince William heroically headed up an effort to save two girls’ lives—two girls who were in danger of drowning, and Prince William swooped in with his big old helicopter in order to help!

From USA Today:

Late Thursday night, it was two teen-age girls who got into “difficulties,” as the British put it, while swimming off the Welsh coast near William’s RAF base in Anglesey.

As The Telegraph and other British media reported, a 16-year-old and her 13-year-old sister were struggling in the water in Silver Bay when nearby surfers noticed and alerted authorities. As the surfers waved and pointed, the future king piloted his Sea King helicopter over the older girl as his crew pulled her aboard; the younger girl had made it back to shore. Neither was hurt but both were cold and shocked, and were taken to a hospital as a precaution.

William’s rescue heroics have been in the news before; last November he helped rescue a crew of Russian sailors after their ship sank in the Irish Sea.

So, uh, what did you do this week, Justin Bieber? Aside from, you know, give self-centered interviews and bash Prince William the Hero for not giving a f-ck about his hair?

Yeah, that’s what I thought.

Quotables: Justin Bieber Makes Fun of a Balding Prince William

photo of justin bieber and prince william pictures

“I mean, there are things to prevent that nowadays, like Propecia. I don’t know why he doesn’t just get those things, those products. You just take Propecia and your hair grows back. Have you not got it over here?”

—What Justin Bieber said during an interview with the UK’s Rollercoaster when the topic of Prince William‘s receding hairline apparently came up.

And oh Justin, there are so, so many things I could say to you about this, and so, so many things that I could probably knock you down a few pegs on your sacred ivory tower’s ladder, but I’m not going to. Because you’re a silly f-cking kid who doesn’t know the difference between real life and … well, anything, honestly. Just give it a few years. I’m going to say, “OK, you’ve got a pass here tonight,” and it’s because you’re a kid. But if you’re saying these dumb-ass things, boy, when you’re twenty-three and twenty-four years old, then we’ve got some even bigger problems on our hands than just a punk kid who thinks his shit doesn’t stink.

Your Morning Cry, Brought to You by Princes William And Harry

A photo of Prince Harry and Prince William

Do you remember that royal wedding business? It was a little over a year ago, and everyone made a huge fuss over it? Kate Middleton wore a really pretty dress. You remember! It was a pretty sweet day, but in an interview that Prince William and Prince Harry just did with Katie Couric, there was something that could have made it just a bit sweeter.

From People:

Despite the overabundance of dignitaries in attendance on his 2011 wedding day to Kate Middleton, there was one person missing, though very much on Prince William’s mind: his mother, Princess Diana.

“Very difficult” is how the prince recalls her absence that day, as he reveals during an ABC interview airing Tuesday night, as part of The Jubilee Queen with Katie Couric.

“I sort of prepared myself beforehand so that I was sort of mentally prepared … I didn’t want any wobbly lips or anything going on,” says William, 29. “It’s the one time since she’s died, where I’ve … thought to myself it would be fantastic if she was here, and just how sad really for her, more than anything, not being able to see it.”

Diana was killed in a Paris car crash in August 1997, when William was 15.

“I think she … she would have loved the day and I think, hopefully, she’d be very proud,” he tells Couric. “I’m just very sad that she’s never going to get a chance to meet Kate.”

Prince Harry, 27, also gets a chance to remark on his brother’s wedding day and what it would have meant to their mother.

“I think she had the best seat in the house, probably,” says Harry. “But yeah, she would have loved to have been there.”

I hadn’t had a good cry in a while, so I was planning on watching Precious and snuggling my kitten this evening, but this did the trick. I’ve never been a big Princess Di buff or anything like that – I was only nine years old when she died – but around the time of the wedding, I got interested in the royal family and all the traditions and history and all that, and I read a bit about her. From what I read, I think it’s easy to understand why so many people were so enchanted with her, and it goes without saying that she would have been just radiant at the wedding.

But, oh goodness, Harry’s line, “I think she had the best seat in the house”? I don’t know why, but that kind of thinking about someone who has passed away always gets me. I’m not even religious, but the idea that someone’s in a better place or that someone’s watching down on you, I think that’s the sweetest, saddest thing.

Did you have a good cry, too?

Hollywood Arranged A Play Date for Prince William and Kate Middleton Last Night

A photo of Prince William and Kate Middleton

Ok, it technically wasn’t just a play date, it was the inaugural ‘BAFTA Brits to Watch’ event, and its purpose was to “highlight the incredible depth and range of great British talent currently emerging in film, television and video games,” but between me and you, I think that’s just some highfalutin reasoning for a bunch of American celebrities to get to meet some real live royalty.

If you look through the gallery, you can see that it’s divided into three different categories: there’s some traditional red carpet coverage, where you can see Jennifer Lopez looking preposterous, Kate Middleton looking stunning, and Blake Lively looking pregnant, then there’s the part with bizarre celebrity pairings (I’m not going to pretend that the picture of Blake Lively with Quentin Tarantino isn’t going to give me nightmares), and then there’s my personal favorite, the part where Kate and William make friends with everyone! I think Nicole Kidman is their favorite, don’t you?

Love It or Leave It: Fancy Royal Hats!

A photo of Kate Middleton and Prince William

It’s been a little over a month since the royal wedding craze, so I figure you guys would be cool to receive an update on what Prince William and Kate Middleton were up to these days. It’ll be a pretty quick update:  they’ve been wearing fancy hats!

This is a photo of the lovely couple at a derby yesterday. Personally, I think Will is looking suitably fly in his little top hat, but I’m a little disappointed with Kate. Now that she’s a member of the royal family, she really needs to step up her hat game, right?

One Part of The Royal Wedding I Can Get Behind: The Cake

I told you the other day that I was so fed up with Royal Wedding fever that I was basically annoyed to the point of petty anger, but here’s one aspect of the whole shebang that I’m willing to concentrate on: THE CAKE, Y’ALL.

Personally, I get sick of cake after a bite or two, but a well-made pastry ain’t nothing to scoff at, and this delicacy? It’s fit for a future king and his bride, that’s for damn sure.

The flavor was William’s favorite chocolate biscuit cake (once again, Kate’s preferences are swept to the side) and the design is pretty traditional, but the details are phenomenal. Check out the closeups in the gallery. Is that a freakin’ tassel made out of icing? Incredible. And definitely classier than whatever that squinty-eyed husband thief LeAnn Rimes and her gross husband ate at their tacktastic wedding last week.

One thing? I’d be afraid to touch this thing with a knife. Sometimes they make these wedding cakes so pretty that it’s a complete shame that someone’s gotta bring a knife to it, but I guess we know all about pretty things getting knives waved at them around these parts, huh?