Poor Prince Harry. Imagine not even being able to play a simple game of strip billiards without having the photos leaked and everyone getting all up in your business. Honestly, if a man can’t go to Vegas and get naked with some girls under the pretense of playing pool, then what has the world even come to?
But things aren’t all bad. Thanks to the leaked photos, Harry has gotten offers from Playgirl (one million dollars for dick pics) AND Chippendales (this one’s a job opportunity, so there’s no specific details on the payment). But now he’s got an offer that he simply can’t refuse: Vivid Entertainment wants to give him ten million dollars, just to star in a porno flick.
Oh my god, you guys, I’m just kidding. Not about the offer – that’s real – but the part about it being an offer he can’t refuse. Because of course he’ll refuse it. Why are these people even bothering with this? Do they not realize how much money he already has? That he won’t need any money for the rest of his whole entire life? Do these people honestly think that Harry might consider their offers, or are they just goofing? I need answers!
But just in case Harry does accept Vivid’s offer, I want you all to know that the film will be titled The Trouble with Harry, and according to the boss over at Vivid, “the sex will be well-scripted.” Of course it will, guy. Of course it will.