Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Pippa Middleton

Children Tell Pippa Middleton That They Hate Princesses

In what’s probably the most adorable video I’ve seen all year, schoolchildren tell Pippa Middleton that they “hate” princesses (and fairies), and are “tomboys.” Which, yeah, really has no bearance in the celebrity world other than the fact that two little girls told the sister of a “princess” that they, themselves, hate princesses, but it’s still funny as hell to listen to, and hey, isn’t Pippa Middleton kind of hot when she opens her mouth to talk? Because I think Pippa Middleton’s kind of hot when she opens her mouth to talk.

Pippa Middleton’s Book is All Done

photo of pippa middleton pictures photos
Here’s some brand-new Pippa news: girlfriend’s gone and released that book she was writing. What book? Well, this book—a “comprehensive seasonal guide to simple and creative entertaining.” The book is called Celebrate: A Year of Festivities for Families and Friends, and that business sounds to be right up my alley. Good things, guys!

So, OK. Those affiliated (and in) the Royal Family are doing all sorts of things. You know, Writing Best-Selling Books, traveling the world as The Cutest Royal Couple Ever, and even Grabbing Balls in Las Vegas. We’ve got a crew of regular fabulousness right here, guys, and frankly, *I know who I’d be partying with.

*Duh! All of them! Pippa could plan, Will and Kate could attend and be cute, and Harry could strip for all of us! And a good time would be had by all!

Pippa Middleton Might, Like, Go to Jail

photo of pippa middleton smiling gun papparazzi pics
Did you guys hear? The Duchess’s sister Pippa—of bum fame—might be headed to jail. Wouldn’t that be something? Apparently a friend she was traveling with over the weekend decided to pull a gun on one of those crazy-intrusive photographers just, you know, doing their job, and it was obviously caught on film.

The photographer was pursuing Pippa and her friends through the streets of France (safe, that is; sounds familiar, doesn’t it?), and when the photographer got close enough, the driver of the car pulled a gun and aimed it at the cameraman. The photographer filed a complaint, which, according to the Paris Judicial Police, will be investigated, and charges could be brought against those in the vehicle, including Pippa, but she probably won’t be charged with anything, in reality.

Sources are now saying that the gun is a “fake,” and in any case, come the f-ck on. ABC News reports that the photographer knew the entire time that the weapon was a counterfeit, and is using the story for publicity:

ABC News has learned that the photographer says he knew all along the gun was a fake and has been telling people he never felt scared. Even friends of one of the young fashionistas in the car told ABC News today that they have the toy gun in their possession.

The Sun had reported that the Paris Judicial Police department is “poised” to launch a probe into the incident, but police told ABC News that there is no investigation, because no one has filed a complaint.

But yeah, what a c-nt, right? Let’s smile because your douchebag boyfriend thinks it’s cool to aim a possibly-loaded firearm at an innocent person who’s also operating a vehicle. Or, you know, let’s smile because it’s fun to pretend that fake guns are real and it’s still totally cool to point something in an attempt to make them think that their life is over because of some f-cking stupid picture. In either case, that’s nice. Real classy stuff right there, folks.