This. I’m so excited about this. And i”t’s not even because I think Ashlee Simpson is the crazy-eyed spawn of Satan, it’s because I don’t get completely squicked out when I see these two – Pete and his new model girlfriend, Meagan Camper – out in public. Isn’t that sweet?

Pete, who’s been through the wringer during his divorce from Ashlee Simpson (which I’m not even sure is final quite yet), was recently photographed (see above) holding hands with the much-better-looking-than-Ashlee* model he started dating over the past few weeks. Sources close to Pete say:

“They’re dating but taking things slow. [Camper] has met Bronx, so [Pete is] obviously comfortable with her. It’s really new and they are taking it slow because there is a little boy at stake. He didn’t want to introduce Bronx to her if he didn’t think she was a good girl. She’s really sweet, [and] he’s in a really good place. He’s excited to see where it goes.”

Well, hell, me too. It couldn’t possibly end worse than it did with his ex, now, could it? Don’t answer that.

*Subject to review – some people I discussed this with said that Camper looked like a taller, darker-haired Ashlee, and some of them said that she sort of resembles Pippa Middleton.

Oh, Ashlee Simpson. This bitch gets on my last nerve, she really does. Really, anyone who has ever looked at Pete Wentz can tell that he’s been through enough, but no, Ashlee just keeps on and keeps on sucking that soul out of him, and her very latest tactic? Drunk dialing. Because everybody loves That Girl.

From Us Weekly via Celebitchy:

A source says [Ashlee Simpson], 26, recently placed an inebriated call to Pete Wentz, whom she’s divorcing. “Ashlee was telling Pete how much she misses him and wants him back,” says a pal of the bassist, 32. A rep for Simpson denies the call. And though the singer is dating Boardwalk Empire’s Vincent Piazza, the source says she’s so desperate to win Wentz back, she even asked his sis for help – with no luck. Says the pal, “He will never go back to her. He’s in a good place.”

We can all see Ashlee pulling this shit, right? Ugh. Honestly, I rarely get fed up with celebrities like this – for example, I’m not even remotely fed up with Lindsay Lohan, and you know how often I talk about that hot mess – but really, I have just had it up to here with the stories on this girl. How heartless do you have to be to keep doing awful things to your once husband and the father of your child who also happens to have this face?

On second thought, I don’t even care to know.

What, you were expecting some pictures of Ashlee Simpson literally sucking the soul out of some dude? I’m sorry, but we treasure subtlety around here, thank you. And besides, would anyone actually want to see pictures of Ashlee Simpson in such a compromising position? I didn’t think so.

But check out these new pictures of Pete Wentz with his adorable son. Look how happy he looks, and look back at how happy he’s been looking since the divorce began. It’s as if he’s finally broken free of the chains of the dreaded succubus, rightfully keeping his soul inside himself and growing stronger for it. It’s as if he’s finally tasted a freedom that he’s never even heard of, and he’s not letting go any time soon. Hold on to it, Pete. Your soul is a shooting star that you can ride to destinations you’ve only dreamed of, as long as you stay away from that heinous bitch.

Pete Wentz, for one, was never one that came up on my radar as anything but weird and … weird. I never got the Fall Out Boy thing (except for ‘Sugar, We’re Goin’ Down’ – what a great song, right?), never got the whole ‘attracted to Ashlee Simpson‘ thing, nor did I get the weird hairstyles and all the sappy emo brooding.

That being said, holy hell on these photos of Pete Wentz looking HOT.

Is this what divorcing Ashlee Simpson does to a person? Because if it is, heck. I want in.

Images courtesy of I’m Not Obsessed

The dude’s Vincent Piazza, who’s an actor who appeared on The Sopranos and Boardwalk Empire. He’s Ashlee Simpson‘s new man. These are the first photos of the new couple since Ashlee was photographed being all hand-holdy with her not-yet-ex Pete Wentz. Like, recently.

Also? Cheating on your husband and generally being a bitch apparently makes your old nose grow back.

I don’t want to say that I hate Ashlee Simpson, but I kind of hate Ashlee Simpson.  I don’t like the way she’s treating poor little Pete Wentz, and these here photos are doing a nice job of fueling my rage all over again.  Look at his little happy smile – he just loves his little family so much! Pete Wentz is a tragically beautiful man and Ashlee Simpson is a vicious harpy, and these pictures prove it.

Enjoy!

Are y’all psyched for the apocalypse or what?!  Heads are gonna motherfuckin’ roll, you guys.  I’m so pumped.  Last night, I had the perfect excuse to do my favorite things (make out and watch Zach Galifianakis movies, natch), and today I’m going to be completely worthless and offensive and terrible all day, and if anybody calls me out on it – suck it, I’m about to go to hell, I’ll do as I damn well please.

Sad facts though: the Rapture is supposed to start on May 21st at 6:00 PM, and some people say that it’s 6:00 PM in your specific timezone, so I guess Armageddon will just roll its way across the globe at a leisurely pace.  The thing is, it’s already been 6:00 PM on May 21st somewhere in the world, and so far everybody seems cool.  That particular theory could be wrong though, so I’m going to go ahead and wait for 6:00, east coast time, and give Jesus a good hour or so to show up, then I’m going to go to the drive-in or something.

Anyway, I know there are some people that want to hear their favorite celebrities’ outlook on the End Times, so I won’t deprive you of that any longer:

See, Pete Wentz, Zooey Deschanel, Roseanne, and Jonah Hill are all very solid people with really reliable opinions, so if you’re running around losing your damn mind over the end of the world, just follow one of these people’s advice and you should be just fine.

According to eyewitnesses, Ashlee Simpson appears to be getting ready to put the ‘Wentz’ back into the ‘Simpson-Wentz’ of her last name.

The couple and their son were photographed yesterday at a mall in LA getting Starbucks, and the pictures that were taken suggest that there’s some reconciling going on in this broken marriage. As you can see, Ashlee and Pete are holding hands, and correct me if I’m wrong, if you’re getting a divorce, or trying to work out a solid separation, you don’t generally go around giving the other person the wrong idea by holding their hand.

But hey, I could be wrong – because then again, we ARE talking about Ashlee Simpson here, who seems like she leads Pete-the-lapdog around by the crook of his nose.

I don’t know, guys.  I have no doubts that Pete wants his family to work, but if this chick, (who’s apparently indecisive as to whether she wants to bail or not) can’t make up her mind, it’s only going to put further stress on their family life, and that poor, sad little boy (uh, Bronx, that is) doesn’t deserve that kind of shit.

I’m calling BS on the whole thing.

Ashlee Simpson, or the ‘Pieces of Me’ chick who will go down in history as doing her husband dirty and throwing up a surprise divorce before he heads out to tour, ’cause she can’t keep her legs closed for thirty whole days while he’s gone (come on, what do you expect – thirty days is SUCH a long time in Hollywood) has been photographed doing something with her son. (I know, crazy, right?)

Simpson and her son, Bronx, were caught out at a Milk + Bookies event in LA this past weekend, sans daddy Pete Wentz, of course. Ashlee was all teeth and bright-red lipstick, and little Bronx’s smiles looked forced, like someone took away his favorite teddy bear. Or at the very least, Daddy.

Sorry, Ashlee, it’s nothing personal.  I really like the Milk + Bookies thing, I just think you’re a twat.

First there was the news of Ashlee’s unattractive behavior in the impending custody battle, then the girl rebounded with a friend of Pete’s, and now this.

See, one of the most popular, most likely theories regarding this couple’s divorce is that Pete really, really doesn’t want it to happen. And now he’s going on tour for a month, and you know what Ashlee does?  She takes him out for lunch to “boost his spirits before he left.”  Twice.

I hate this move so much.  I know that Ashlee and Pete have a child, but this wasn’t a visit, this was a play.  You can’t stretch out that “Pieces of Me” money when you have to pay those legal fees, right Ashlee?

Ashlee Simpson filed for divorce from Pete Wentz what seems like an hour ago, she’s being mad shady about sharing custody of their son Bronx, and to top it off, we now know she’s, at the very least, canoodling with. Don’t know who that is? Me neither, but he’s in some pop punk band called Chiodos. To top it off? His band is signed to Pete’s record label and one of his personal friends. Nice, Ashlee!

Rumors of Pete’s “erratic behavior” being the cause of their split sound even less credible now that we’ve seen this. I am defender #1 of any and all Simpsons (except Joe,) but fucking a close friend of your ex is a really great way to say, “I’d like to cause you a lot of emotional pain and alienate you on as many levels as possible.”

Not a good look, girl.

So Ashlee and Pete filed for divorce, we all know that.  We also all know that the couple has an adorable little child.  But where is the child going to end up?

Ashlee wants joint legal custody, but sole physical custody, which pretty much just means “Mommy will drop you off at Daddy’s house for the weekend sometimes.”  Not surprisingly, Pete is not into that at all. In case you couldn’t tell, Pete just adores his son, so he’s fighting for joint physical custody as well.

The weirdest thing about all this, to me, at least, is that Ashlee requested that Pete pay all the legal fees, but Pete suggested that they split it.  Is any one else put off by that?  Bitch should have her own money, if she couldn’t stick around with Pete, she shouldn’t get to touch the “Sugar, We’re Goin’ Down” funds, right?