Because if you look closely, you’ll see that the position of the light and the angle of her face align in just such a way that she appears to have a witch’s nose.

Heh.

At The Bank Nightclub in the Bellagio in Vegas.

Paris and Nicky Hilton paint the town pink on Sunday night in Malibu.

And I included the second photo because it really does look like a single one of Paris’s feet is like twice the size of her head and her huge boat feet make me laugh. I bet if there were plastic surgery to get your feet made smaller, Paris Hilton would do it. I bet Paris looks at pictures of those little girls in Asia with the bound feet and is all like, “OMG those girls are soooo lucky. I wish someone had done that for me.”

Here’s Paris and a bunch of 11-year-old girls at a private press event to promote Paris Hilton’s new hair extension product with Sally Beauty Supply. The product is called The Bandit, and it appears to be a headband with the hair extension attached. I’m not sure why it’s called The Bandit, but, judging by this photo, it may be because it also steals all your abdominal fat.

If that’s true, I’ll take three.

However, as far as the whole extending of the hair thing goes, I would really like to see what one of these synthetic masterpieces looks like from behind, but I can’t find any photo like that, probably because this shit looks like a blonde helmet from the back. I mean, it seems like you have to have the headband positioned just so on your head for it to look even reasonably natural, which basically means that you can wear this product if and only if you plan to sit very, very still all day.

Do let me know how it goes if you try it.

“This is actually the first summer where I didn’t just lounge around in St. Tropez or a private beach somewhere … because it’s been non- stop work … When I was little I loved playing with dolls. Now that I’m grown up, this show concept has given me my own real live dollhouse by having the BFF contestants. Imagine all the trouble and fun I could cause all at once just with a text on my blackberry, from me to them.”

Paris Hilton, in a new MySpace blog, discussing how much she enjoyed taping My New BFF because she was essentially given carte blanche to treat human beings like her fucking toys. Which is such a nice pace from doing something obnoxious, like lounging on a private beach.

Jesus.

Hey, remember how, after Paris Hilton got out of jail, she was all like “I will dedicate the rest of my life to helping those less fortunate than me” and we were all kind of hoping she’d, ya know, make generous donations to inner-city schools or fund an AIDS research clinic or start a food bank?

Well, she did none of those things.

She did something better.

Paris knows that not everybody can spend thousands of dollars on ultra-pricey hair extensions like her own, so she’s dedicated her life to coming out with cheaper and crappier hair extensions that everyone can buy!

Up now: the Bandit, which is being described in press releases as “the first interchangeable hair extension headband.” The Bandit extensions will come in three different lengths and various colors.

Paris will be debuting this new contraption at a private press conference on Saturday.

I can’t wait.

Is there anything Paris Hilton can’t do? (Don’t answer that. Don’t even try. You have other things that need to get done at some point today.)

This time, she’s becoming a superhero.

“I’ve created a superhero with Stan Lee, which is based on me,” Paris told the magazine San Diego City Beat. “And we’re doing a cartoon right now with MTV.”

Oh, man. She makes it so easy.

Okay, guys. What is Paris Hilton’s superpower?