4Paris Hilton + S&M + Terry Richardson = Disaster

Oh look, it’s a Terry Richardson photo shoot in which the subjects aren’t naked! It’s a Christmas miracle! And a blessing for your eyes, since this time around, the subject is Paris Hilton (and not like we haven’t seen her bits already, anyway). Her sister, Nicki Hilton, also pops up in a few of the photos, which is kinda funny because I forgot she existed, probably because she’s far less obnoxious than her sister and less of a fame whore.

I’m not sure what the occasion was, but I do know I could have gone the rest of my days without seeing Paris Hilton in soft S&M gear. Of course, she’s got a single to try and promote (TO WHOM?) so I suppose it’s only natural that she’d go see Uncle Terry to drum up some more attention.

October 16, 2013 at 7:30 am by Jennifer

0Paris Hilton’s Idea of a ‘Good Time’ Includes Writhing Around in a Bikini

Paris Hilton managed to get a record deal with Cash Money Records – for what reason, we’ll never know – and she’s getting ready to bring out the video for her new single ‘Good Time’, which features Lil Wayne and was produced by Afrojack, who I’m vaguely confusing for that guy who sang that ‘Cos I Got High’ song some years back. Totally not the same person, by the way.

Anyhow, that’s neither here nor there. Paris gave a 15 second teaser of the video for ‘Good Time’ on her Instagram page yesterday, and without further ado, here it is in all its glory:

First of all, I love that she thinks she’s repping YMCMB so hard like that. Second of all, I love that all the video that’s not of her mouthing the words under a heinous amount of autotune look like they don’t even belong to this song. The whole thing is just so very wrong. I know Wayne loves the Sizzurp, but are you fucking kidding me? How high do you have to be to co-sign this shit?

September 26, 2013 at 11:30 am by Jennifer

2Newsflash: Paris Hilton Is Shooting An “Amazing” New Video

Paris Hilton released that flop of an album, Paris, in 2006 and we all just assumed that was the end of that and we’d no longer have to be tortured by thoughts of Paris making “music” anymore. How wrong we were! In fact, she’s finished recording her new album and even completed shooting on a video for its first single, entitled (surprise!) ‘Good Time’. If you want more proof of what pure class this will be, the vid was choreographed by Pussycat Dolls creator Robin Antin.

This whole thing screams hot mess. You can’t even IRONICALLY like Paris Hilton’s music like you can, say, Countess LuAnn’s. Come on, you know “Money Can’t Buy You Class’ is one of the best jams of the millennium (I’ve just put it on YouTube as we speak). I can’t even believe anyone is letting this happen – it’s all Lil Wayne‘s fault. Paris Hilton needs to stick to… I dunno, calling things “hot” and spending money she did nothing to earn.

In the meantime, here’s some bullshit promotional tweets she put up:

Please let me know two things: one, how high Lil Wayne was when he thought signing her was a good idea and two, who is going to “rage” to her single in a way that’s not homicidal.

July 27, 2013 at 8:30 am by Jennifer

35Top 14 Most Hated Celebrity Couples

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are easily one of the most hated celebrity couples ever, right? Radaronline polled a whole mess of people and compiled a list of 14 celebrity couples that people absolutely hate and Kim and Kanye didn’t even make the list! Shocker! These lists are based on pretty much nothing, but they’re so fun; from the most hated celebrities to the ugliest male celebs, I know I like a good stupid list.

I don’t think these are actually in a particular order, in terms of most to least. The first ones on the list are Rihanna and Chris Brown. Who are the rest?Click to find out.

(more…)

June 8, 2013 at 10:30 am by Catherine St. Ives

5Paris Hilton Has A Record Contract Thanks To Lil Wayne

Paris Hilton, you better thank Sofia Coppola for making you aaaaaalmost relevant again, thanks to The Bling Ring. Lil Wayne is reviving Hilton’s singing/music/whatever you call what she does career by officially signing her. They collaborated in November of 2012 but apparently that just wasn’t the end of it. More info from TMZ:

Wayne’s mentor – Birdman – confirmed the news on Twitter … saying, “Lil Wayne’s Cash Money family has a new member! Paris Hilton: RichgangRichgirl.”

According to Showbiz411, Hilton’s album will focus on house music — no surprise, since she’s been DJing at various clubs all over the world … and training with some house music bigshots for years.

The album — Hilton’s first since 2006 — will reportedly be produced by Afrojack … and will feature bona fide stars like Lil Wayne.

Paris told Showbiz411, “[The new album] is a lot different than my first album. It’s really going to be house music.“

And it’s really going to be awful. Although. Although! Confession. “Stars Are Blind” is a pleasure of mine. I don’t even know if I feel guilty about it anymore either. It’s really catchy.

The friendship of Lil Wayne and Paris Hilton seems so odd. They started “working together” (it’s in quotation marks because I don’t think Paris ever actually works) in 2011 and when she turned 32 in March of this year, he was not only a guest but performed as well.

Now please enjoy this recent photo of Paris leaning dangerously towards one side:

May 22, 2013 at 3:30 pm by Catherine St. Ives

3LOL of the Day: Paris Hilton Cried Watching ‘The Bling Ring’

Listen, burglary isn’t funny by any stretch of the imagination and no one deserves to have their privacy violated, celebrity or otherwise. That being said, I can’t lie: it definitely made me laugh when I read that Paris Hilton cried watching Bling Ring, Sofia Coppola’s movie about the real-life celebrity burglaries of ’08-’09. She was even in the movie and allowed scenes to be filmed in her house, but she still found it pretty upsetting.

From Vulture:

“I was really emotional watching it,” Hilton confessed to me last night at the movie’s hot-ticket Nikki Beach after-party. “During some parts of it, I literally had tears in my eyes and I wanted to cry. I knew what happened with the burglaries, but I had never actually seen it — so watching it happen, I was like, ‘Oh my God, this really happened to me. These kids were really in my house and did this to me.’ It’s so violating. It just made me really angry and upset, and when I see these kids, I want to, like, slap them.”

Oh man, that’s kinda tough and I guess I feel for her a bit. But wait, there’s an up side. She got to show off her mansion!!!!

“I designed everything in the house, so it was really cool to see it on film,” she said. It shows: Hilton’s house is a tribute to Hilton herself, and as the celebrity-obsessed Bling Ringers raid her walk-in shoe closet and party in her “nightclub room,” Hilton’s limpid face stares back at them, emblazoned on all the pillows, artwork, and walls. “That house is like my dream house,” she told me. “I worked so hard on every detail.”

Aaaaaand my levels of sympathy have gone down again.

May 18, 2013 at 4:30 pm by Jennifer