Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi

Snooki Would Rather Talk Politics Than Get Wasted These Days

A photo of Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi

But hey, before we get started, I’d like to take back that thing I said about her new hair. I like it. Before, I was just sort of taken aback because of the whole thing with the extensions, but now that we’re seeing the finished project, I think it works. Right?

Ok, now let’s review some quotes from Snooki‘s interview with Anderson Cooper:

On her new life: “I am having a glass of wine talking about politics. It’s way different. Like, so, ‘Who are you voting for?’ I mean me and my friends are like, ‘What are we saying?’ We are getting so old.”

On having a kid: “Having a kid changes your life. Before, I was like, ‘I want to go out. Let’s go to Vegas.’ After having a kid, it’s just like, ‘Oh my god, there’s so much more to life than just going out and having a good time.’ ”

On going out: “Once a month, I go out with my girlfriends because if you don’t go out when you’re a new mom, you’re just going to freak out,” she explains. “You need time for yourself. It’s always so busy with the baby. Sometimes you get stressed or frustrated, so you just need your own time.”

On changing diapers: “I actually love [it]. Even when they are like poopy and gross, it’s fun. He pooped on my hand once and that was awesome. … I have fun doing everything with him.”

That’s actually kind of boring, right? That’s what makes it interesting! We’re so used to hearing Snooki talk about whale sperm and kitty litter and just being a mess in general that it’s so weird to hear her sound like a normal person. But it makes me happy, because she obviously really, really loves being a mom, and I want Snooki to be so very happy.

But hey, was that part about the diapers weird? Moms, do you think getting pooped on is awesome? Can we discuss that part?

Look, Snooki Has New Hair!

A photo of Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi

I hate it. Oh my god, this is so dumb. Why, Snooki? Why would you do this to yourself? You’ve been looking so good lately, and then you go and do this to yourself. I don’t like the red on you, sorry, but I just don’t. If you love it, then I’m happy for you, but darker hair just looks so awesome on you. And it’s way too long and it just doesn’t look good.

But ok, wait. She’s getting extensions, right? Is that what’s happening here? I’ve had those cheap clip-in extensions once, but I’ve never seen the process of putting in these legit expensive ones. So is her hair going to end up this long, or are the extensions just laying like this while they’re in the process of being put in? And that’s her real hair, that short bit that’s sticking out?

Regardless, I just really don’t like the red. What do you guys think about our dear Snookers?

Stars Without Makeup: Snooki Again!

A photo of Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi

I’m sorry, I just love Snooki so much. I love how much she loves that precious baby, I love how happy she looks, and I love that she doesn’t give a shit about not having a face full of makeup and a body covered in self tanner anymore. I think this is all just so wonderful, and I love it.

And isn’t it just so much fun to see how different some people look without makeup? It is, right? Just think about what Snooki looked like when we first saw her. That huge hair, the deep orange tone of her skin. All that makeup. Did you ever think we would get to where we are today with this girl?

Probably just disregard all this if, for some reason, you still hate her. Instead of fawning over her, you can take this time to go grow a soul or something.