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Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi

6The Jersey Shore Crew Really Knows How to Dream Big

A photo of Snooki and JWoww

For instance, did you hear that the fourth season of the show is going to be filmed in Italy?  Can you even begin to imagine the sort of hijinks these kids will get into over there?  I can, and it involves many trips to the U.S. Embassy, several offended Italians, an average of 27 hilarious issues from language barriers per episode, and the destruction of at least one priceless artifact.

As if this wasn’t enough evidence of Jersey Shore thinking outside the box, there’s also the glorious news about a JWoww/Snooki spin-off.  Here’s the rundown:

The storyline — Snooks is finally moving out of her parents’ house and into a place with Jwoww — but, (surprise!!!) she’s totally unprepared to deal with actual real-life problems.

For example … the two have their sights set on a $1.5 million pad, but they don’t know what a mortgage is … or how to write a check … and they keep getting distracted by the “hot” mortgage broker.

But conflict erupts — so say the docs — because during their cohabitation, Snooki … gasp … “made a mess of the bathroom and didn’t change the toilet paper.” She also “ate a ton of Jwoww’s food” … and anyone who’s ever had a roommate knows that crap don’t fly.

And then they start their own book club and have classy parties and it’s just like a modern Laverne and Shirley, only smarter and edgier and more tan.  Right?

January 26, 2011 at 11:30 am by Emily

14Love It or Leave It: Snooki’s Interpretation of ‘Classy’

photo of snooki nicole polizzi hot pictures

Oh Snookers. You try, you try, and you try again. And this time, girlfriend, it was so close. Really. It was thisclose. But the big honking Blackberry, the ankle booties that make your legs look like large, voluptuous hams, and the big brass hoop earrings that scream ‘AQUA NET!’ and ‘EIGHTIES ROLLER SKATING RINK TRASH’ kind of put the kibosh on classing it up. Points for the hair, and points for the dress, but the rest kind of brought your C+ average down to a D-, girl. Sorry.

January 24, 2011 at 9:00 am by Sarah

5Quotables: Snooki is Tired of Being Called Snooki

photo of nicole snooki polizzi pictures jersey shore

“I miss my real name. I miss people calling me Nicole.”

Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi on what Jersey Shore fame has done to her given name. But it can’t be all bad, could it girlfriend? I mean, you’ve gotten so much out of this whole MTV deal as it is – a domestic abuse case, a domestic disturbance case, a bunch of guido juicehead morons on your case, and yup, probably a mad case of the herp, too, huh?

All is not lost, Snookers.  Snookerson.  SNOOKISNOOKISNOOKI.

January 13, 2011 at 9:00 am by Sarah

1Remember That Book Snooki Wrote? People Are Actually Buying It.

photo of nicole snooki polizzi of jersey shore pictures

Just when I thought that the last of the Wizard of Oz munchkins had gained their last iota of under-deserved fame, Nicole Polizzi, affectionately known as ‘Snooki’ in dirty New Jersey clubs that stink of stale sweat, Axe body spray, and that funk-fungus stink that you get when you lay in a tanning bed for more than the prescribed max of fifteen minutes, has gone and snatched another fifteen minutes of fame by writing a book and dressing like Liza Minelli in drag in drag in drag. In drag.

In drag.

And man. Are those her legs, or am I having another one of those crazy ham deficiency attacks again where all I’m seeing is luscious hocks of swine everywhere I look?


January 11, 2011 at 9:00 am by Sarah

3Snooki Endorses Exercise

photo of jersey shore's snooki exercising orange oompa loompa pictures

Yo, that’s crazy. That’s like Charlie Sheen sponsoring his local police department, or Lindsay Lohan endorsing Promises. You’d think it’d go together like peanut butter and Nutella, but when paired, it actually results in quite a nasty fucking sticky mess.

Here we see Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi (of Jersey Shore, but I’m sure I don’t really need to specify that any longer) plugging BL Body Activewear in NYC earlier in the week.

Hey, girl? If you put down the cigarettes and push your drinking start time from 10 AM to at least 10 PM, you might actually get healthy and the exercise’ll do you some good.

October 26, 2010 at 8:00 am by Sarah

11J Woww Looks Fairly Hot in NYC, Snooki Looks Like She Could Use a Paper Bag

photo of j woww jenni farley and nicole snooki polizzi from jersey shore in new york city pictures

Jersey Shore stars Jenni “J Woww” Farley and Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi were photographed in New York City yesterday, where they seem to be a pretty big presence as of late. Word has it that Snooki and J Woww are seeking a spinoff of their craptastic guido- and guidette-themed shitshow, and sources say that MTV networks is considering picking it up. While I think that these two are sort of trying to be the new Kardashians-without-bloodline, and I normally can’t stand either of them or their stupid show, I have to admit — Ms. Farley’s looking good.

The ladies were photographed after leaving a taping for “Live! With Regis and Kelly,” and while J Woww is up front and center shining her ass off, Snooki is pictured in the background, looking about one camera shutter click away from bursting into amber-colored tears.

The life of an overcooked potato-shaped garden gnome’s gotta take its toll even if it does pay well.

October 15, 2010 at 8:00 am by Sarah