I know, I gagged a little writing that headline, so I can imagine how it must feel to have that bomb dropped on you with no prior warning.
MTV reports that the entire cast of Jersey Shore is returning for a sixth season (… I know, what the hell, right?), and that ‘entire cast’ thing includes the pregnant Nicole Polizzi. When asked about the whole pregnancy thing, MTV had this to say:
“Being a baby mama doesn’t mean you can’t have some fun in the sun. While things will definitely be a little different this time when they hit the boardwalk, their trademark hilarity and family dysfunction will remain the same.”
Oh! OK then. I suppose a baby raised in said hilarity and family dysfunction will turn out completely alright. It’s not as if the kid’ll be surprised by the f-ckery after it knows any better. An expert on the subject (he’s a “pop culture expert” and a professor at Syracuse University) spoke to the Daily News and claimed that the show this year will be extra-interesting, especially when it comes to finding out whether or not Snooki will be engaging in her trademark disgusting behaviors while she’s pregnant:
“It changes the dynamic. There are behaviors I suppose she’s not going to engage in, and if she does, it’sgoing to seem reprehensible. When Lucy got pregnant, the show was called ‘I Love Lucy’. It’s not called ‘Snooki Shore,’ it’s ‘Jersey Shore’, [and] there are some who can take up that narrative slack.”
Seriously speaking, though, how is it OK for this to happen, really? While I’m sure (or at least, I hope, anyway) that Snooki isn’t going to be out ’til all hours of the morning sipping those “non-alcoholic” beverages in shitty clubs on the shore, how is the constant stress and drama going to sit with a lady who’s gestating a fetus? Or does that not matter as much as a regular paycheck or, you know, ratings for a stupid show that no one but its E-list cast is going to remember in ten years?
The thing is, despite her previous protests, Snooki probably won’t lay off the partying, because it’s what she does. She doesn’t know any different. Fox News reported that girlfriend was out into the wee hours of the morning living it up with J Woww in Cancun:
The “Jersey Shore’s” hard-partying meatball hasn’t let a bun in the oven slow her down one bit. Polizzi was spotted heading out for an evening of partying at the wee hour of 1 am on Wednesday night in the only place more depraved than the Jersey Shore—Cancun.
Snooki is in the Mexican party mecca with her “Shore” co-star Jenni “JWoww” Farley, filming episodes for their upcoming spin-off show on MTV.
Reports earlier this week said that the pair were heading south of the border to stay at the Cancun Beach Palace in order for Snooki to get some much needed rest and relaxation after the media whirlwind surrounding her pregnancy bombshell.
Yes, let’s head to Cancun (during SPRING BREAK) for some much-needed rest and relaxation. Sure! Awesome idea. Also, Fox News referred to Snooki as a “hard-partying meatball.” You know, even though I don’t agree with most of the political stuff Fox peddles, I positively LOVE THEM for coining the phrase “hard-partying meatball.” Is there anything more fitting? You know, aside from other things I’ve read online like ‘funk-faced warthog’ or ‘diseased Oompa Loompa’?