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Nadya Suleman

0Octomom Isn’t Being Charged with All That Abuse

A photo of Nadya "Octomom" Suleman

I’m sure you remember those awful abuse allegations made about Octomom that I told you about yesterday. It was horrible, it was sad, and part of it was not all that surprising.

But today, we’re learning that the D.A. is like “psh, whatever,” Octomom’s current nanny is like “psh, whatever,” and pretty much everyone besides the former nannies that made these claims are like “psh, whatever.” Or, more specifically, the D.A.’s office isn’t pursuing the case at all because of “insufficient evidence to warrant further action,” and Octomom’s current nanny said that the whole thing is “BS.” Well said, current nanny.

So this is good news, right? TMZ even has photos of Octomom’s new house, and it’s not nearly as bad as her old house. So she’s getting things together, isn’t she? This is just one of those cases where people make false claims about famous people to get publicity. I really, really hope this is the case.

October 13, 2012 at 10:00 am by Emily
Filed Under: Nadya Suleman

3Octomom Is Being Accused of Abusing Her Children Again

A photo of Nadya Suleman

But hey: this new accusation is not like that time that Octomom got reported for letting her children write all over the walls and poop in the backyard. No, I’m pretty sure this is a whole, whole lot worse. So if you don’t want to get sad or disgusted at the kinds of things some humans can do, then maybe just scroll on down and find a different story. We’d all understand.

From TMZ:

Two of Octomom’s former nannies have told officials … Nadya Suleman allowed one of her children to sexually abuse another child inside the home … this according to reports.

According to CBS2 in L.A., the 2 nannies have been in contact with Child Protective Services … and told officials they personally witnessed the abuse.

The nannies do not say Octo personally sexually abused the children — but according to one of the nannies who spoke with CBS, “(One of the boys) would take (his sibling) away and take her to another area. And he would be touching her.”

“She never did (anything). ‘It’s okay, don’t worry about it.’ That was her attitude.” the woman continued.

According to the report, the nannies also claim they witnessed Nadya tie her eight newborns to their bed with cheese cloths around their waists to keep them from getting out of their cribs … and also blocked the door to the kids’ bedroom with a chair from the outside so she could nap peacefully.

La Habra police have investigated the allegations and plan to send the case to the Orange County D.A. in the next several days.

Octomom is already denying these claims, of course. She’s saying that the nannies are making up this story because they’re obsessed with her kids and they want to keep them. She actually said in real life that they “are hating because they can’t have what I have.” She also said that she hasn’t been contacted by police yet, but that she has nothing to hide.

I don’t even know, guys. At this point, I’m pretty much ready to call it a day.

October 12, 2012 at 10:30 am by Emily
Filed Under: Nadya Suleman

2Just Because: Here’s A Video of Octomom Dancing to Her Own Song

And doing this awful screamy laugh thing. And letting a strange man dance around her children in his underwear. And also, does that kitchen look familiar? Because it looks a little like the one from her porno, just with different cabinets. Is she living on her porno set?

Even if we don’t resolve this burning question, we still got to see Octomom gyrating around, having a more G-rated version of a sexy party. And that, friends, is already more than we deserve.

September 24, 2012 at 2:30 pm by Emily
Filed Under: Nadya Suleman

0Octomom Isn’t Allowed to Box Anymore

A photo of Nadya Suleman

Did you know that Octomom was involved in that whole celebrity boxing scene? I vaguely knew about it, but the most I’d seen was that picture up there, which is one of my favorites. But here’s an actual video (which you’ll probably want to watch on mute, unless you have a high tolerance for nonsense) of Octomom in action, going up against Amy Fisher. She’s the one in black:

But at this point, we’re just reliving the glory days, because the boxing gig? That’s all in the past now:

We won’t be seeing Octo-Mom in the boxing ring anymore.

Celebrity Boxing CEO Damon Feldman has banned Nadya Suleman from his bouts after she allegedly broke an opponent’s hand in a pillow fight in Philadelphia and then failing to show up for another fight in Florida. The ban means Nadya may have to continue with porn and stripping to put food on the table for her 14 kids.

The infamous baby machine has made “well over six figures in Celebrity Boxing,” claims CEO Feldman in announcing his decision to ban her from future fights. He said Nadya is banned for “breaking a local female DJ Shilas hand in a pillow fight with no explanation or apology” and for failing to show for a match in Florida. Feldman also claims that his company has been “losing deals because she has been associated with us.” She’s not even welcome to sit in the audience for fights, Damon said.

As previously reported, Octo is so desperate for money that she has set up a website begging for cash to help pay for a new home.

Wait, you mean she broke someone’s hand and never even said she was sorry? What a monster. I’m so glad that there are good people like Amy Fisher around to fill that void in the celebrity boxing world.

September 3, 2012 at 5:30 am by Emily
Filed Under: Nadya Suleman

2Quotables: Octomom’s Kids Know About The Porn, Are Totally Cool with It

A photo of Nadya Suleman

“I raise them in total honesty so they’ll never have any resentment or harbor resentment when they grow up…they do [know] to a certain degree…they do not know the total details, but I raise them in total honesty. They’re totally desensitized…our experiences allowed all of us to pull out strengths we didn’t know we possess.”

That’s what Octomom said when asked if her children know about her latest career moves. And I just … ugh.

But really, how would you even handle this situation? “Ok, kids, Mommy has to go love herself now so you can get your Fruit Loops”? Would you just not say anything? I think at this point, any choice that this woman makes will be wrong, because she made the horrible choice of having fourteen children in the first place. Do you know what I mean? Like, she has to resort to doing porn because she doesn’t have enough money because she had fourteen children, and she really can’t keep a regular job because she has fourteen children, and she can’t afford a nanny because she has to feed and house fourteen children.

Man, sometimes you just don’t think things through, you know?

August 27, 2012 at 6:30 am by Emily
Filed Under: Nadya Suleman

2It’s Time for A Sexy Party!

This is the greatest gift I can ever hope to give you. Well, this weekend, anyway. Probably. But let’s not think about the future. Let’s just focus on the here and now. The here and now that is being flooded with the hottest new dance hit to grace the whole entire universe!

Yes, we finally have a clip – just a clip, mind you, not the whole song – of Octomom‘s first, and surely not the last, musical adventure. “Sexy Party,” the upcoming Grammy winning song formerly known as “Get on The Dance Floor,” is a perfect example of the kind of talent that Nadya Suleman has just flowing through her veins. This is Octomom’s world, you guys, and we’re just partying in it.

And just in case that wasn’t enough magic for you, here’s another marvelous song, another one from Farrah Abraham, Teen Mom and the next Celine Dion:

And today, the future of music just got a whole lot brighter.

August 18, 2012 at 10:00 am by Emily
Filed Under: Nadya Suleman
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