Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Nadya Suleman

Just Because: Here’s A Video of Octomom Dancing to Her Own Song

And doing this awful screamy laugh thing. And letting a strange man dance around her children in his underwear. And also, does that kitchen look familiar? Because it looks a little like the one from her porno, just with different cabinets. Is she living on her porno set?

Even if we don’t resolve this burning question, we still got to see Octomom gyrating around, having a more G-rated version of a sexy party. And that, friends, is already more than we deserve.

Octomom Isn’t Allowed to Box Anymore

A photo of Nadya Suleman

Did you know that Octomom was involved in that whole celebrity boxing scene? I vaguely knew about it, but the most I’d seen was that picture up there, which is one of my favorites. But here’s an actual video (which you’ll probably want to watch on mute, unless you have a high tolerance for nonsense) of Octomom in action, going up against Amy Fisher. She’s the one in black:

But at this point, we’re just reliving the glory days, because the boxing gig? That’s all in the past now:

We won’t be seeing Octo-Mom in the boxing ring anymore.

Celebrity Boxing CEO Damon Feldman has banned Nadya Suleman from his bouts after she allegedly broke an opponent’s hand in a pillow fight in Philadelphia and then failing to show up for another fight in Florida. The ban means Nadya may have to continue with porn and stripping to put food on the table for her 14 kids.

The infamous baby machine has made “well over six figures in Celebrity Boxing,” claims CEO Feldman in announcing his decision to ban her from future fights. He said Nadya is banned for “breaking a local female DJ Shilas hand in a pillow fight with no explanation or apology” and for failing to show for a match in Florida. Feldman also claims that his company has been “losing deals because she has been associated with us.” She’s not even welcome to sit in the audience for fights, Damon said.

As previously reported, Octo is so desperate for money that she has set up a website begging for cash to help pay for a new home.

Wait, you mean she broke someone’s hand and never even said she was sorry? What a monster. I’m so glad that there are good people like Amy Fisher around to fill that void in the celebrity boxing world.

Quotables: Octomom’s Kids Know About The Porn, Are Totally Cool with It

A photo of Nadya Suleman

“I raise them in total honesty so they’ll never have any resentment or harbor resentment when they grow up…they do [know] to a certain degree…they do not know the total details, but I raise them in total honesty. They’re totally desensitized…our experiences allowed all of us to pull out strengths we didn’t know we possess.”

That’s what Octomom said when asked if her children know about her latest career moves. And I just … ugh.

But really, how would you even handle this situation? “Ok, kids, Mommy has to go love herself now so you can get your Fruit Loops”? Would you just not say anything? I think at this point, any choice that this woman makes will be wrong, because she made the horrible choice of having fourteen children in the first place. Do you know what I mean? Like, she has to resort to doing porn because she doesn’t have enough money because she had fourteen children, and she really can’t keep a regular job because she has fourteen children, and she can’t afford a nanny because she has to feed and house fourteen children.

Man, sometimes you just don’t think things through, you know?

It’s Time for A Sexy Party!

This is the greatest gift I can ever hope to give you. Well, this weekend, anyway. Probably. But let’s not think about the future. Let’s just focus on the here and now. The here and now that is being flooded with the hottest new dance hit to grace the whole entire universe!

Yes, we finally have a clip – just a clip, mind you, not the whole song – of Octomom‘s first, and surely not the last, musical adventure. “Sexy Party,” the upcoming Grammy winning song formerly known as “Get on The Dance Floor,” is a perfect example of the kind of talent that Nadya Suleman has just flowing through her veins. This is Octomom’s world, you guys, and we’re just partying in it.

And just in case that wasn’t enough magic for you, here’s another marvelous song, another one from Farrah Abraham, Teen Mom and the next Celine Dion:

And today, the future of music just got a whole lot brighter.

Now You Can Buy A Date with Octomom!

A photo of Nadya Suleman

Oh dear god. This is so icky.

From TMZ:

Going once, going twice, SOLD … is what some lucky bidder will hear if they win a date with Octomom … because the mother of 14 has officially put herself up for auction to earn some cold, hard cash.

Octo — in a last ditch effort to earn more money before she gets kicked out of her La Habra home — has created an online dating profile for a site called What’ … a website where users can PAY other users to go out with them.

In her profile, Octo says she has 14 kids, loves to work out and loves to laugh … and she’s starting the bidding at a cool $500.

This is the latest in a slew of ploys to earn more green off her Octo fame. If you recall she also signed up for a website where she can beg her fans for money … but so far she’s only raked in a mere $2,509.

… which is $2,509 too much.

I’m browsing around that site right now, and it’s … it’s something special. You can classify yourself as either “generous” or “attractive,” and then yeah, you can just buy a date with someone. And I’m not against online dating at all – it’s how I met my fiancé, so, you know, it works, but this just seems like such a sad idea for a business. How do you sit through a date knowing that the only reason that the other person is with you is because you paid them to be?

But hey, the good news is that if you have $500 to spare, you could go on a sure-to-be romantic date with Octomom. And it wouldn’t be sad or desperate at all.

And Here’s The Cover of Octomom’s Single

A photo of Nadya Suleman

With all of the great news that we’ve been hearing about Nadya “Octomom” Suleman this summer, you might have forgotten about this one amazing little tidbit: she’s recording a single. Remember? We discovered last month that she was in the studio working on the sure-to-be hit, “Get on the Dance Floor.”

But it’s a brand new month, and we now have the cover to that hit single. Are you ready for it?

A photo of Nadya Suleman

As you can see, she’s changed the title of her song to “Sexy Party,” and, as you can also see, the cover shows a sexy party indeed. A sexy church party. I thought that Jesus had inspired Octomom to develop her gift of music, but it turns out that she’s just a big Madonna fan:

We can all thank Madonna for Octomom’s topless album cover … because the mother of 14 says the pop icon inspired her to bare it all for her music.

Sources close to Octo tell TMZ … the cover art for “Sexy Party” is 100% Madonna inspired. We’re told the pop singer’s “Like a Virgin” style and need to sing about liberation struck a cord with Octo and she wanted to pay homage to that with her album art.

Sources tell us … the crosses in the background, the rosary and even Octo baring her boobies (sans nipples) was all in honor of Madge.

With Octomom becoming such a huge star, and with Madonna’s fading fame, I’m going to go ahead and call it: Madonna is going to open for Octomom’s world tour. Wait and see.

Octomom is a Beggar Now

photo of octomom pictures From TMZ:

Octomom may have stripped her way off welfare, but she couldn’t strip her way out of foreclosure … and now the mother of 14 is begging her fans for $150,000 so she can put a down payment on a new pad.

In case you forgot … despite Octo’s recent XXX endeavors, she still couldn’t make the mortgage payments on her La Habra house and it was foreclosed on last month.

Sources close to Octo tell TMZ she’s been given two weeks to move out, but the problem is she doesn’t have enough cash to buy a house of her own … especially one that can fit her giant brood.

Octo’s solution … set up a page on a website called, where her fans can send her money through the internet! All she’s asking for is a cool $150k to get started.

In the meantime, we’re told Octo is trying to book as many jobs as possible, just in case her fans don’t come through.

Oh, OK. As long as Nadya‘s not getting any kind of handouts these days … oh, wait. Never mind. My bad.

Good to know that no matter how many things go crazy and change a thousand percent, some things just never do. OR WILL.