Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Nadya Suleman

Michael Lohan Was in Charge of Octomom’s Intervention

A photo of Michael Lohan

Can you imagine a world in which there is any connection between someone like Michael Lohan and Octomom? It would be like a world in which there’s a connection between Amanda Bynes and Courtney Stodden, or between that crazy unpredictable friend who drinks too much from high school and that crazy unpredictable friend who drinks too much from college. It’s a world where things don’t make sense, where forces can come together and the ramifications are terrifying.

This is the world that we live in.

From TMZ:

He failed miserably at getting Lindsay Lohan to enter rehab — but Michael Lohan was one of the main reasons Octomom is now getting help for drug abuse … because he personally arranged for her treatment program … TMZ has learned.

Michael tells us, he’s been running a nonprofit organization based in Florida for the last nine months that stages interventions for people in need of substance abuse treatment … and so far, he’s already performed over 25.

Sources close to Michael tell us, Octomom’s manager recently voiced her concerns to him about the mother of 14′s Xanax dependency — so Michael decided to take action last week, making arrangements for Octomom’s treatment program.

According to sources, Octomom’s team — with Michael’s help — then staged an intervention, and Octo agreed to get help.

Michael tells us, “The most important thing is the willingness to realize and surrender to the issue and commit to getting help, which Nadya did!”

He adds, “If it wasn’t for her manager Gina, my good friend, Tim Chapman at the Chapman house/Teen savers and Gina’s daughter, this would not have been possible. They deserve a lot of credit!”

Octo’s currently in a 30-day in-patient program, but she still gets to call her kids twice a day.

Thank you so much, Michael. You are the patron saint of making awful choices, never learning from them, and then teaching people from your mistakes that you never even understood. Never change. Unless you change in every conceivable way.

Octomom’s Kid Watched Her Solo Porno

photo of octomom pictures porno pic
Emily told you guys earlier today that Octomom—or as some know her, Nadya Suleman—checked herself into rehab for a prescription pill addiction, but that’s not where today’s Octomom story ends. Nope. Sources are saying that Octogirl’s been out of control for awhile, and one of the casualties of her f-ckery included her eleven-year-old son, who was said to be watching her porno video on one of the sites peddling it. From TMZ:

TMZ has obtained correspondence between nanny Gina Bryson and the Orange County Dept. of Children and Family Services … in which she claims on June 28, Nadya ran to her crying, claiming she found her oldest son watching porn on his phone.

The nanny says the 11-year-old had found the website that posted his mom’s masturbation video and decided to sneak a peek. The nanny says Octo handed her the phone and asked her to block the site, but when the nanny said she needed a passcode, Octo told her to forget it.

UCK. Seriously—UCK. Tell me that is not way f-cking creepy. You know, I get that young boys (and girls) are curious or whatever when they’re starting to head through puberty, and with the rampant availability of porn on the internet coupled with an absentee mother who’s too busy capitalizing off of the fact that the looks like Angelina Jolie dipped in battery acid, I can understand that a kid might get into doing things that said kid maybe shouldn’t. But why would the same kid want to look up HIS MOTHER of all people? And don’t say curiosity, because I know that if *my* mother had a pornographic tape floating around out there, it’d be the last damn one I’d be seeking out.

Talk about one messed up family, Lord.

Octomom Went to Rehab

A photo of Nadya Suleman

From TMZ:

Nadya Suleman has checked herself into rehab for a prescription drug problem … leaving her 14 kids without a mother for 30 straight days … TMZ has learned.

A rep for Octomom tells us … Nadya admitted herself into the Chapman House Drug Rehabilitation Center in Southern California over the weekend after acknowledging she’s become dependent on  Xanax … an anti-anxiety drug … which she began taking to “deal with stress.”

Suleman’s rep tells us, “Nadya wanted to get off the Xanax she was prescribed by her doctor and learn to deal with her stress, exhaustion and anxiety with professional help with a team of doctors. Nadya wanted to deal with her issues and make sure she is the best mother she can be.”

As for the kids … we’re told Nadya is using 3 nannies and 2 friends to divvy up the child care duties. She also has a driver  to take the kids to and from school.

Neither Nadya’s mother nor father have been tapped to care for the kids.

We’re told Nadya can afford to pay for treatment by herself — because she’s been making a ton of money from her porn career — but the rehab facility offered to pick up the tab anyway.

Well, this is kind of unexpected. Not that she went to rehab, that part’s awesome – when you’re a single mother with fourteen kids, I imagine you have to be in your best shape possible – but her drug of choice. She’s always seemed kind of unbalanced, you know, with the whole crazy pregnancy thing and all, but Xanax? I thought people who were addicted to Xanax just kind of sat there and nodded off. Is that wrong? I would have thought she was more of an uppers girl. But then again, maybe she got addicted to being chill, which would have been a problem with her before. Because she has fourteen f-cking kids.

Get well soon, girl! For real though, work on your issues because, no shame, but you’ve got a lot of them.

Let Octomom Show You Her New House And Her New Face

Right? I mean, obviously the house is new, but what about her face? It’s nothing drastic, but when the camera zooms in, it kind of looks like she got Botoxed to the max. Is that just me?

The house is nice though, so that’s good. Hopefully it will be a good long while before she has her kids pooping in the backyard again. Either way, I’m mad jealous of that playroom. Can you imagine having a playroom like that as a kid? Wouldn’t it completely blow your mind? I imagine it would be less cool having to share it with your thirteen brothers and sisters, but still.

On a completely unrelated note, I can’t even wait until this weekend to show you this picture I took of my cat:

The vet won’t neuter him until he’s nine months old. No judgement.

Octomom Had A Super Sweet Weekend

A photo of Nadya Suleman

You see that picture? You see what Octomom is doing up there? She’s pretending to breastfeed a couple of baby dolls. Because that’s what Octomom did on Friday night: she went to a drag show in New York, popped out her titties, and breastfed baby dolls.

She also let the baby dolls get a few sips of vodka before she started her main event: a clip from her porno flick.

But hey, here’s another photo of that breastfeeding:

A photo of Nadya Suleman

Where is this woman’s Mother of the Year award? Presented for her mothering of the baby dolls, of course, not her actual children.

Octomom Isn’t Being Charged with All That Abuse

A photo of Nadya "Octomom" Suleman

I’m sure you remember those awful abuse allegations made about Octomom that I told you about yesterday. It was horrible, it was sad, and part of it was not all that surprising.

But today, we’re learning that the D.A. is like “psh, whatever,” Octomom’s current nanny is like “psh, whatever,” and pretty much everyone besides the former nannies that made these claims are like “psh, whatever.” Or, more specifically, the D.A.’s office isn’t pursuing the case at all because of “insufficient evidence to warrant further action,” and Octomom’s current nanny said that the whole thing is “BS.” Well said, current nanny.

So this is good news, right? TMZ even has photos of Octomom’s new house, and it’s not nearly as bad as her old house. So she’s getting things together, isn’t she? This is just one of those cases where people make false claims about famous people to get publicity. I really, really hope this is the case.

Octomom Is Being Accused of Abusing Her Children Again

A photo of Nadya Suleman

But hey: this new accusation is not like that time that Octomom got reported for letting her children write all over the walls and poop in the backyard. No, I’m pretty sure this is a whole, whole lot worse. So if you don’t want to get sad or disgusted at the kinds of things some humans can do, then maybe just scroll on down and find a different story. We’d all understand.

From TMZ:

Two of Octomom’s former nannies have told officials … Nadya Suleman allowed one of her children to sexually abuse another child inside the home … this according to reports.

According to CBS2 in L.A., the 2 nannies have been in contact with Child Protective Services … and told officials they personally witnessed the abuse.

The nannies do not say Octo personally sexually abused the children — but according to one of the nannies who spoke with CBS, “(One of the boys) would take (his sibling) away and take her to another area. And he would be touching her.”

“She never did (anything). ‘It’s okay, don’t worry about it.’ That was her attitude.” the woman continued.

According to the report, the nannies also claim they witnessed Nadya tie her eight newborns to their bed with cheese cloths around their waists to keep them from getting out of their cribs … and also blocked the door to the kids’ bedroom with a chair from the outside so she could nap peacefully.

La Habra police have investigated the allegations and plan to send the case to the Orange County D.A. in the next several days.

Octomom is already denying these claims, of course. She’s saying that the nannies are making up this story because they’re obsessed with her kids and they want to keep them. She actually said in real life that they “are hating because they can’t have what I have.” She also said that she hasn’t been contacted by police yet, but that she has nothing to hide.

I don’t even know, guys. At this point, I’m pretty much ready to call it a day.