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The 5 Most Ridiculous Things Beyonce does in the ’7/11′ video

beyonce

It’s time Beyoncé came out with some new music, I guess, so she’s dropped the first single from her upcoming album. The song is called ’7/11′ and it already has a video. The “unique” concept behind it, I guess, comes from the fact that it’s all shot in home movie format – we’re meant to feel like we’ve got a sneak peak into how Beyonce lives because all of this was shot on the balconies or in the hallways of the penthouse suites she spends her life in. How do I feel about it? Eh…

It’s all downright ridiculous, really. While the entire clip is full of “WTF?” moments, the following 5 take the cake:

1. Beyonce, in a fit of laughter, sits on the bathroom floor and lifts her foot to her ear, pretending to use it as a telephone. Your foot cannot transmit or receive data.

2. Beyonce attempts to do that weird “dance” move where you hold your leg in front of you and then jump over it with the other leg. She fails.

3. Beyonce and friends crowd around a small pile of bills – the bills look to be small denominations and add up to probably no more than $100. Hardly ballin’ out.

4. Beyonce wears a blue sweatshirt that says “KALE” in large letters. Kale is gross.

5. Beyonce has a split second light saber fight with a fully masked/hooded villain who disappears as soon as he appears.

And that’s just to name a few.

The beat of the song is fantastic – whoever Beyonce has producing for her now is great – but I just don’t know what any of it means. I don’t think pop music (or any kind of art) has to mean something – it can certainly exist for itself without reference to anything else, but something is just… missing. Then again, I thought that about the self-titled album for about half a day and now I will lose my mind to it, so… there’s that. ‘

What do you think?

Two new Beyonce tracks have leaked… sorta

beyonce

Beyonce is set to release a new album soon, and the Beyhive is desperate to hear what it’ll be like. Luckily for the fans, snippets of two tracks – one called ’7/11′ and another called ‘Ring Off’ – have leaked online. The verdict? Eh… I don’t quite know, really.

First, let’s listen to the bit of ’7/11′, which sounds like a continuation remix of ‘Drunk In Love’ or something. Have a listen:


And next, it’s ‘Ring Off’:


I get that Bey is really embracing her hood roots and I love that about her, but I just don’t know about this. Again, these tracks feel like further ruminations on what she started on the self-titled album, and I’m sure it’ll be good and do really well because hello, it’s Beyonce, but she’s really hitting up the experimental phase in her career, it seems – and I don’t know what it all means, really. Ah, well, we’ll just have to wait and see. We should know something either way on November 24.

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Lorde covers Jeremih’s ‘Don’t Tell ‘Em’ in BBC Radio 1′s Live Lounge

lorde

I really liked Lorde‘s debut album and I really like what she represents in music. I like that sick burn she gave to Dipshit Diplo yesterday. I like that she doesn’t give a fuuuuuuck what you and I might think of her. One thing I do not like? Her “dancing”. It’s so distracting! In theory it’s great, because she’s totally into it, doing her thing, getting her groove on, clearly not caring whether she looks like she might be having a seizure. That’s awesome and she should keep doing her. But from a viewing standpoint, I have to turn off any visual of her in order not to ruin the sound – and the sound is pretty awesome in this case.

Lorde stopped by to visit Annie Mac in BBC Radio 1′s Live Lounge yesterday, where she covered Jeremih’s ‘Don’t Tell ‘Em’ and did a pretty amazing version of it. I’m not sure why she’s dressed like it’s mid-summer in a crop top when it’s the middle of November, but again, let your freak flag fly, girl! Be a free spirit!

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Eminem raps about punching Lana Del Rey in the face

eminem

Eminem has been problematic (to say the least) throughout his career. His violent lyrics – particularly towards women and gay/trans people – have been a serious cause for concern, even though he’s brushed it off as an “alter ego” and whatever the fuck other nonsense he’s saying. Well, now that he’s prepping for the release of his new album, he’s back on the scene and offending people left and right.

Take, for instance, his cypher which he did with some fellow labelmates. I won’t go too far into it, but he has this lovely line: “Bitch, I punched Lana Del Rey right in the face like Ray Rice in broad daylight in plain sight of the elevator surveillance.”

In addition to being a really shitty rap lyric, it’s also obviously (and once again) violent towards women. Why Lana Del Rey? Did he actually punch her? Why is he praising that scumbag Ray Rice? None of it makes any sense. I so want to root for Eminem sometimes but he makes it hard impossible.

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Usher releases new song exclusively in… boxes of Cheerios at Wal-Mart

usher

I know things are getting a little seedy in the music world because people aren’t wanting to pay for music and we’re all just downloading everything, but it seems like times are really getting desperate for Usher, who released a new song exclusively in boxes of Honey Nut Cheerios sold at Wal-Mart. LOL, okay.

From Billboard:

A new song by Usher will be the prize at the bottom of select cereal boxes. Starting Tuesday, a exclusive single will be available for download with specially-marked Honey Nut Cheerios packages purchased at Walmart stores across the country.

The track is called “Clueless” and comes amidst a prolonged wait for the singer’s new album, UR.

Well, that’s… awesome for him, I guess? Frankly, I’d toss the music and just eat all the Honey Nut Cheerios. They’re so, so good – I haven’t had them in years!

What do you think is happening here? Is releasing a song in a box of cereal a smart marketing move or the sign of a career in decline? Something tells me it’s the latter…

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Taylor Swift goes psycho in ‘Blank Space’ video

taylor swift blank page video

Taylor Swift‘s 1989 is probably the best pop album of the year, maybe the past two years (at least). Seriously, it’s that good. I pretty much love every song on the album, save for Welcome to New York, but that’s just because I’ve lived there for 13 years and that doe-eyed naivité thing about it hasn’t been my bag for over a decade. But that’s neither here nor there! What’s important is that this album is FULL of hits, so she can ride on this one for a long while.

Her new single, ‘Blank Space’, is supposed to be an homage to the psycho alter-ego the press seems to report of her when she’s in a relationship/just ending a relationship. TayTay likes to have fun, so she played on that for the music video, which leaked a day early (oopsies!) and had been watched by a zillion people before anyone realised they weren’t supposed to have seen it yet. Ah, well.

I’m not a fan of music videos in general – I prefer to just listen to the damn song and I don’t need a visual to go along with it – but as these things go, this is a lot of fun and I ain’t mad at it, as they say. I mean, if brought us faces like these:

taylor swift crazy

That can’t be a bad thing. What do you think of ‘Blank Space’ and the video?

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