Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Morgan Freeman

You’ve Gotta Hear What Morgan Freeman Sounds Like On Helium

morgan freeman

Morgan Freeman did a promo for  Science Channel’s series “Through the Wormhole” in which he sucks up helium from a balloon — and you gotta hear it.

Are you ready for this?


Yeah, it’s not super hot celebrity gossip, but how can you turn this down? It’s also great hearing his voice morph back to normal. So thank you, Morgan Freeman, for your dedication to science.

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Morgan Freeman Narrated 50 Shades of Grey, But You Won’t Hear It

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… Even though it wasn’t Morgan Freeman, anyway, and a comedian named Josh Robert Thompson, the video has been pulled (presumably by Morgan Freeman’s people, who also claim that Morgan Freeman is not dead, contrary to some reports that emerged yesterday afternoon). I felt that it was worth mention, anyway, since anyone narrating 50 Shades of Grey is pretty hilarious, and … wait, what’s that? You haven’t heard many people do it? Well Gilbert Gottfried did it (yes, Iago from Aladdin). The cast of Snow White and the Huntsman did it, including Kristen Stewart, and no—the coincidence of Kristen Stewart reading literary pornography aloud (on the set of Snow White and the Huntsman) does not escape me, either.

Here’s Gilbert:

OMG, hilarious. Seriously.

And here’s the cast of Snow White:

Amazing, right? Bonus points for anyone who can find a not-yet-pulled audio of this “Morgan Freeman” character in action.

Quotables: Morgan Freeman Says President Obama Isn’t Black Enough

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“America’s first Black president hasn’t arisen yet. He [President Obama] is not America’s first Black president – he’s America’s first mixed-race president. First thing that pops into my head regarding our president is that all of the people who are setting up this barrier…they just conveniently forget that Barack had a mama, and she was white – very white American, Kansas, middle of America.”

So, wait a second. Am I to surmise that Morgan Freeman is claiming that our President isn’t *really* black, because he had a white mother? Are we really going to start using the paper bag test to determine how black or non-black someone really is? Because if we are … oh my God, I am so out of here.

I realize that Freeman was, more than likely, referring to the fact that some people use the race card against President Obama and claim that they don’t want a “black President,” but unless his comments were more tongue-in-cheek (and I don’t know, because I didn’t listen to the NPR interview on which he spoke), what the hell. I just … I can’t even. I have no doubts that Morgan continues to support the President, as he has in the past, but I’m going to go ahead and say that most Americans aren’t going to see it that way when they hear what Morgan has had to say about Obama’s “true” race and ethnicity.

I mean, come on. Is the President supposed to go around saying, “No, you’re mistaken—I’m actually white“? Because really. Yeah, Obama had a white mother and a black father, but if we’re going strictly by appearances, President Barack Obama is clearly a black man. And to what end?

I just can’t believe we’re even discussing this. I can’t believe that Morgan Freeman would even open this can of worms, knowing what kind of pot he’d be stirring in saying that President Obama isn’t, in fact, the first black American President.

You know, until DNA testing becomes mandatory for every citizen of the United States, up to and including each and every American Presidential candidate, we won’t really know who’s of mixed heritage and who isn’t, you know? If this is the card we’re going to play, hell. I mean, even Abraham Lincoln could have been half- or a quarter-black and we wouldn’t have known. Damn. Why the hell do we, as AMERICANS (and far less in other countries around the world) have to label ourselves and make sure everyone knows exactly who or what we are in every single circumstance anyway? What in hell is that solving, anyhow?

I’m just going to leave you with one little gem here, an excerpt from an interview that Morgan himself made a few years back about racism in the United States:

… Freeman went on to say that talking about race is what keeps bigotry alive. He said he’d prefer if people called him just “a man” instead of “a Black man,” and that the only way to defeat racism is to “stop talking about it.”

Morgan Freeman Is on Team Katie, Too!

A photo of Morgan Freeman

From TMZ:

Tom Cruise controlled Katie Holmes like a puppetmaster … making every major and even minor decision in her personal and professional life … and in the end, she felt like she couldn’t breathe without his permission … this according to sources close to the actress.

Movie studio-connected sources tell us Tom executed an “Art Kill” way back when Katie was doing “Thank You for Smoking” in 2005 … when the 2 first started dating.

Sources tell us Tom instructed producers to “kill” any promotional photos which showed Katie and Aaron Eckhart engaged in kissing or “anything else compromising.”

We’re told Tom also imposed his will during “Batman Begins” … prohibiting Katie from flying with the rest of the cast. Instead, Katie would only travel on Tom’s private jet. One source tells us Morgan Freeman was “disgusted” by the situation.   On the other side, however, one source scoffed and said, “Wow, Tom offered her his private jet.  How terrible for Katie.”

Ultimately, our Katie sources say she grew sick and tired of playing Pinocchio to Tom’s Geppetto … and decided it was time to cut the strings.

We reached out to Morgan Freeman for comment — so far, no word back.

Oh wow, what a shocker! I never would have imagined that Tom Cruise was any kind of controlling, would you? He always seemed like a really sweet, balanced individual with a healthy grasp on reality, or at least that’s what I thought. I guess this whole thing just goes to show you that you never really know someone.

But really, this story just makes me really happy because now I can imagine Morgan Freeman calling up Katie Holmes and giving her nice comforting advice in that amazing voice of his. That’s really the whole point of me telling you this story. Oh, and also so we can share the mental picture of Morgan Freeman slapping Tom Cruise right across the face. That’s important too.

Speaking of Perverts …


We weren’t really speaking of perverts, but it sounds like we are now.

Morgan Freeman and his wife Myrna split in December, 2007 after 24 years of marriage.  A new report is out that claims Morgan and his wife had an open marriage and each pursued relationships outside the marriage.  You know, I have never understood open marriages.  I think it’s fine to schtup a bunch of people if that’s what you want, but why be married?  To experience the joy of joint tax returns and time with the in-laws?  Makes.  No.  Sense.

As it turns out, Morgan was having a ten-year affair with his step-granddaughter.  To put it in perspective, this young woman named E’Dena Hines is the biological granddaughter of Morgan Freeman’s first wife, but Freeman and his second wife helped raise her.  To furtherput the situation in perspective, ten years ago — when this affair allegedly began — E’Dena was 17 and Morgan was 62.  The year he became eligible for Social Security, she worked on getting a high school diploma.

The way the National Enquirer tells it, these two are planning on getting married.  Maybe they’ll have a daughter and Morgan can fix her up with, like, Ben Vereen.

Above is a picture of the — gag — couple at the Dark Knight premiere a year ago.  This just looks like normal, grandfatherly love … not, “I Bent You Over The Sofa Last Night” love.  Right?