Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Miley Cyrus

Miley Cyrus Reminds Us That Teenagers Are Idiots About Love

Miley Cyrus is 17 years old, so it makes sense that she hasn’t exactly figured out the whole dating game. Or, you know, not-game. The unfortunate  thing about that is that she makes statements to the press about her boyfriend Liam Hemsworth like, “I think when you’re trying to play it cool and you’re like, ‘Oh, I won’t text back for like the next hour,’ that’s when you know it’s more serious. You have no idea how many times I was like, ‘Oh he called. I’m not going to call back tomorrow.’ When it gets confusing and you’re over thinking it, you must really like someone.”

At the press junket for her movie The Last Song, Miley talked about her co-star turned boyfriend quite a bit. She also said, “My parents are a little loco. We have five [kids] and my mom and my dad and my grandma plus like my 10,000 dogs – so if you love me after you see my lifestyle then you’re good. You’re a keeper.”

I don’t know if anyone’s taking dating advice and life tips from Miley Cyrus, but let me throw this out there to those who are considering it: If you’re playing games with a guy so that he thinks you’re cool, you don’t really like him. Or rather, you’re terrified of finding out that he doesn’t like you. Most classic mistake in the game. And don’t call your parents “loco” in an interview when you’re 17. It makes you look like a spoiled brat.

The Oscars – The Dresses (Part II)

Things get a little dicey in this batch.

Vera Farmiga (above) may have had the worst dress of the night. The giant maroon doilies sewn together look like the fabric embodiment of this site’s namesake (an evil beet) ingested someone’s grandmother.

Zoe Saldana wasn’t faring much better. She either crawled inside one of last month’s Mardi Gras floats or got in a fight with an ostrich in a Peeps factory… and lost.

Anna Kedrick’s gown was an utterly gorgeous concoction of flowing, diaphanous pale pink, and Pussyfoot (Amanda Seyfried) was stunning in a roll of quilted Charmin.

Miley Cyrus also managed to look really pretty, but since she had the unenviable task of standing next to Seyfried while presenting, wound up looking a little unkempt by comparison.

Also in this group: Deborah Ann Woll, Demi Moore, Diane Kruger, Kathy Ireland, and Mariah Carey.

I’ll Watch Anything That Lionel Richie Is Involved In

Oh, hey guys. I don’t know how I missed this yesterday, but I should have totally posted it. It’s the video for We Are The World 25, a remake of the classic celebrity collaboration that was recorded to benefit Haiti. It’s a really crappy, elevator-type song but you know, it’s one of those things you have to watch once because everyone famous ever is in it. Also, it’s kind of hilarious. I laugh every single time I see Josh Groban’s face. And the parts with Enrique Iglesias, Celine Dion and Wyclef are pretty lulzy as well.

And Now For Something Completely Inappropriate

Miley Cyrus’ little cousin Emily Grace Reaves (you may recognize her as Noie Cyrus’ partner in red carpet crime) is about to release her own clothing line of scandalous clothes for little girls. You can see in the video above as she explains to Miley that she’s wearing her own look that she has on what looks like Paris Hilton’s cast offs from The Simple Life. These clothes wouldn’t be appropriate for Halloween on a girl as young as Emily, but I suppose that’s what’s passing for clothes these days. Question to all the parents out there (even though I already know the answer): Would you let your little girl be caught dead with an outfit like this on? Check out the pictures below if the video isn’t enough for you.

Because the Spoiled Brat Store Was All Sold Out of Unicorns

Miley Cyrus’ parents bought her another puppy. This time she got a German shepherd called Mate (I wonder if her Australian boyfriend had anything to do with that name) to go along with her maltipoo, Sophie. I thought the Cyrus’ were supposed to be all “down home” and “Christian”, so I’m not sure why they keep buying their daughter (who happens to have an insane work schedule for a 17-year old) designer pooches instead of going to one of the many shelters in the Valley. Actually, I don’t know why they keep getting more pets at all when their youngest daughter is already running around Hollywood dressed like a damn hooker, but whatever! Different strokes, man.

Miley Cyrus Makes a YouTube Video That Doesn’t Make Me Want to Take a Shower

Here’s Miley Cyrus, making up for some of her more dreadful online videos, talking about a suicide-prevention organization called To Write Love on Her Arms. TWLOHA is looking for support in raising money to launch an online, live-chat website where people who are depressed or considering suicide can talk and hopefully find help. It’s fantastic not just that she’s supporting this organization, but that Miley — whose teenage fans are in one of the highest-risk groups for suicide — is encouraging people to talk about depression and suicide and to seek help. It’s all about breaking down the stigma, especially in this age group. Props to ya, Milers.