Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Miley Cyrus

Miley Cyrus Is a Grown, Sexual Creature and You Will Respect That, Goddamnit

Miley Cyrus' Sexy Show in Paris

It seems like Miley ditched the good girl vibe quite some time ago, but only recently have I realized that somewhere down the line she started only doing the mildly raunchy. Just like Britney and Christina before her, Miley is so tired of being considered a product of Disney that she’s now marketing herself as a product of Heidi Fleiss. You could argue that the girl (and yes, she’s still a girl) is 17 and exploring her sexuality, but I was once 17 and my sexuality was restrained to my high school boyfriend’s bedroom Mondays-Fridays between the hours of 3 and 5 PM. And I definitely wouldn’t have been allowed to wear a cut up Cheap Trick shirt (as if anyone in her audience thinks that’s the name of a band) and I definitely wouldn’t have grinded on an older man in a fedora knowing that my parents were a mere 15 feet away watching, but HEY! That’s showbiz!

Are Miley and Mandy Still BFF?

Miley and Mandy: Together Again

Miley Cyrus and her one-time BFF Mandy were seen out in Studio City yesterday grabbing some sushi. These two were inseparable for years, but over the last year or so we’ve barely seen the two of them out together. Is it just business from their work schedules, or have Miley and Mandy drifted apart? One cause of such a rift would be the age difference between the two. Mandy’s of legal drinking age and is often seen out at LA clubs getting her party on while Miley’s not even old enough to buy a pack of smokes or a porno mag. Does anyone know what’s going on with Miley and Mandy?

Miley Cyrus Has Another Tattoo

Miley Cyrus Has a New Tattoo

Miley Cyrus got inked again, but this time it’s in a slightly more visible place. The 17-year old singer/actress appears to have gotten the world “love” tattooed in her ear. Trashy? Not exactly. But I still have the feeling that an ear tattoo is not something you want to see on an elderly woman. Ya know, because tattoos are forever, Miley.

If Billy Ray’s going to keep signing off on his underage daughter/paycheck getting her body inked up, then I hope he starts limiting her to places that are usually covered up.

Miley Cyrus Is Toxic

A photo of Miley Cyrus at the Hannah Montana wrap party

Or her jewelry is, at least.

Walmart is pulling her jewelry line off the shelves after lab tests showed that the jewelry contains a high amount of cadmium, which is bad news (cadmium poisoning was on House, if that tells you anything).  It’s not lethal if it’s simply worn, but it will fuck your world up if you ingest it, and that’s what people are worried about.

Well, by “people,” I mean the Associated Press, who conducted the test.  Walmart and Miley knew about the cadmium months ago, but I guess they figured it wasn’t a problem because the jewelry line is marketed for adults, and adults aren’t the ones chewing on jewelry, kids are.  But of course there’s no way some little Hannah Montana fan with an oral fixation would purchase a necklace or anything, and it’s not like anyone’s ever seen a baby suck on Mom’s earrings.

Get it together, Walmart.  Start by not selling jewelry that can kill people.

Check Out Miley Cyrus’ New Single, “Can’t Be Tamed”

So, this is the all-new, grown-up Miley. Hm.

On the (majority of the) whole, I don’t have a massive problem with Miley … she’s a hell of a lot better at being a person than a lot of the other female celebrities that pretend to be are her age and for that, I give her credit. I can also kind of give her credit for having a moderate amount of singing talent (read: she doesn’t completely rely on auto-tune and if necessary, could probably sing her way out of a burning building). However, I think her new single, “Can’t Be Tamed,” is a hot fucking mess. Honestly.

It’s way too busy and isn’t original — at all. Why is it that “musicians” who can actually sing destroy the musical part of the song, while the simplicity of a decent vocal performance can bag it for everyone? Why is it that artists who shouldn’t ever be allowed to sing (I’m looking at you, Heidi Montag) are, and we’re exposed to the ear-piercing flaws that make up the, uh, “creative nuances” of their “voices”?

Anyway. Miley’s new single. Love it or hate it?

Miley’s Getting Her Own Place, Phoning Austin Powers For Decorating Tips

While some sources have stated that Cyrus’ boyfriend Liam Hemsworth has moved into the Cyrus family compound, Miley herself is discussing her first big purchase: a home, which incidentally, is rather close to the family homestead in Toluca Lake, California.

Miley recently interviewed with People magazine and told them that she’s in the process of searching for the right home and the right interior decorator — which happens to be none other than her very own Mama Dukes.

Yeah, the same Mom that made Miley promise to live at home until she was twenty, is excited and “stoked” that her daughter is purchasing a home that she gets to decorate.

Seventeen year-old Miley’s design scheme?

“My house is going to be gorgeous because my mom is an interior designer. It’s like if your mom’s a clothes designer you’re always going to look great [Ed. Note: Yeah, just ask Beyonce]. My mom’s an interior designer so my house is going to be perfect all the time.”

Miley states that she wants a “really zen” kind of vibe for her new investment and in order to achieve that kind of zen-ness, all of the furniture just had to be, uh, on the floor. (… Instead of, you know, floating six inches above the carpeting.):

“We did all these different things to make it a place that’s so chill. Like all my couches are on the floor and I have pillows on the floor. It’s just serene – like my own kind of therapy … My religion is love, so my door is always open for anyone who wants to come in. It’s a just a loving place.”

Yeah, baby … yeah.