Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Miley Cyrus

People Really Want To Believe That January Jones And Liam Hemsworth Are A Thing

january jones 2013

Miley Cyrus, Liam Hemsworth, and January Jones are apparently all part of one big crazy super secret love triangle. This whole thing started at an Oscar party, where January Jones and Liam Hemsworth flirted and then allegedly left the party together, though honestly that doesn’t even look like him the car, but whatever. People started saying that he and Miley were done. Then they started saying that Mr. H was flirting with someone at the party but that it was Emma Watson. Then break-up rumors start happening. Miley and Mr. Hemsworth insist that they are still getting married. Then Miley’s stupid dad says on national TV that he’s not sure if their wedding will actually happen.

I am really, really hungry.

Anyway here are some new “reports” as brought to you by Entertainmentwise:

The couple sparked rumours of a fling after they were spotted leaving a party together in February and now, two months later, have been accused of contacting each other behind the back of the Hannah Montana star.

“Miley couldn’t believe it!” a source reportedly told the National Enqurier. “As if the embarrassment over Liam’s fling with January wasn’t bad enough, to find out that he’s still in touch with her is pretty much the nail in the coffin as far as their rela­tionship is concerned.”

No way in hell any of this is true. No chance Liam Hemsworth ever texted January Jones. If he did, it went like this:

LIAM HEMSWORTH: hey
JANUARY JONES: Hi?
HEMSWORTH: sup ;)
JONES: Who is this?
HEMSWORTH: liam, yo
JONES: …who?
HEMSWORTH: wait, who is this
JONES: Who is this?
HEMSWORTH: i think i got the wrong # lol

If this rumors are true, however, I will be very entertained.

Miley’s Dad Is Being A Real Downer About Her Wedding

liam miley

Miley Cyrus swears that she and Liam Hemsworth are going to marry, but her dad Billy Ray has some doubts. The totally unsupportive and fame mongering father said in an interview with ABC News yesterday,

I don’t know [if they'll get married]. I know as I was writing a book, I wanted to keep that particular moment [Miley’s wedding] as open-ended as possible. I didn’t know the answer.

They’re young, they’re kids, the great news is they’re great friends, they’re really good friends.

I play it by ear, I know whatever’s meant to be that’s the way it’s going to happen.

The hell? Way to go dad. I’m sure Miley is going to be real psyched to hear that you said this on a major network, all while promoting your book. Get back to hunting UFOs and shit.

I don’t give a f-ck if they get married or not, but don’t use your daughter’s engagement to sell your shitty book no one cares about.

Miley And Snoop Lion Produce Something Your Ears Hear

miley cyrus snoop lion ashtrays heartbreaks cover

Miley Cyrus and Snoop Lion’s single, “Ashtrays and Heartbreaks” is online today. It hits new heights of autotune. It’s so extreme Miley sounds like Rihanna. But it’s catchy. It’s fun. It’s whatever. Sorry Miley, but it didn’t shut me up. Here are some sample lyrics:

Tonight there’s gonna be a whole lot of smoke in the air
Blow it hard for the ones who aren’t here

and

Ashtrays and heartbreaks I lost some (can’t understand any of this shit here) so (again can’t understand this shit) you’re gone but you’re never missed…fill up all those ashtrays.

I’m guessing the ashtrays are a metaphor for something.

Ms. Cyrus really wants us all to focus on her music right now and not anything else, so go for it. What do you think of “Ashtrays and Heartbreaks”?