15Somebody is Gonna Be Spending Some Extra Time at Church…

Sweet Minty Jesus.

How awesome is that picture juxtaposed with Miley’s inspirational quote?

Miley’s reputed main squeeze, Justin Gaston, recently did a racy shoot with VMan Magazine. Good thing Justin and Miley are both *ahem* chaste and uh…regular church goers. Otherwise, I could see how Billy Ray might consider revoking his apparent sanctioning of this relationship. Any guy willing to get greased up, semi nude, and crotch- grabby probably shouldn’t be hanging out with someones hormonally charged rebellious teenage daughter.

For more pics of Justin sporting tight pants, mysterious bulges, and questionable hair see below.

February 21, 2009 at 7:45 am by Soleil

35If Miley Cyrus Doesn’t Want to Ride This Shit, I’ll Happily Hop Aboard

Here’s Miley Cyrus’s boyfriend, Justin Gaston, with whom she does NOT have sex, posing for VMAN magazine.

Ummmmm, yeah.

I’m sooo sure she never rides this.

February 19, 2009 at 1:46 pm by Evil Beet

41Miley Cyrus Forgets the Words!

Simon Cowell would bitch her out!!!

Miz Cyrus performed on Ant & Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway in the UK last night, and forgot the words to her own song, “Fly on the Wall.” It happens around the 1:12 mark. At the very end of the performance, you can see her saying to one of her dancers, “I forgot the words!”

Listen, I know how we all hate Miley Cyrus because it’s our duty as responsible adults and stuff, but she actually recovered really, really well, and she’s a fantastic live performer. Let’s keep in mind that this girl is sixteen years old, and give her a tiny bit of credit. At least she didn’t break out into a jig, Ashlee-style.

Also: her legs are fantastic. Then again, so were mine when I was 16.

Thanks Andy!

February 14, 2009 at 7:03 pm by Evil Beet

100Miley Cyrus’ Most Expensive Mistake, Ever

Lucie J. Kim has filed suit in Superior Court against Miley Cyrus, on behalf of every Asian Pacific Islander in Los Angeles County.  This is just the newest development in Slantgate.  Kim is asking for the minimum amount that can be awarded for a civil rights violation-$4,000 for each person.  That totals FOUR BILLION DOLLARS.

Kim isn’t swayed by Miley’s “aw, shucks, I’m just a young’un, ya’ll know I love you and Jesus,” apology and feels that Cyrus is on the same maturity level as Paris Hilton.  In other words, this chick basically called Miley a whore.  A whore who must pay.

February 12, 2009 at 9:56 am by Wendie

27Is That a Bustle?

Miley Cyrus attended the 51st Annual GRAMMY Awards – Salute To Icons: Clive Davis, and while at first what she’s wearing appears to simply be an over eager attempt at sexiness embossed with the unlikely image of Mrs. Potts from Beauty and the Beast, once she turns to the side you see this:

Is that a bustle?!  A bustled mini dress with pockets?! Miley, I know you’re anxious to get this “potential racist” stench monkey off your back, but adorning your backside with three extra yards of fabric in the form of ruffles (especially when said fabric could have been better used to cover the rest of your exposed thigh area) is not going to cut it.

More people on the red carpet of this event, including Fantasia (in vintage?), Paula, Taylor Swift, and Leona Lewis below.

February 8, 2009 at 6:30 am by Soleil

49Miley Wasn’t Making Fun Of Goofy Looking Asians

Miley has posted an explanation of this picture on her blog.  Turns out, it was all just a big misunderstanding.  She wasn’t making fun of Asian people; she was just making goofy faces.  And the only reason we even care about her making slanted eye faces is because Britney is doing better now.  Seems perfectly logical to me.

I’ve also been told there are some people upset about some pictures taken of me with friends making goofy faces! Well, I’m sorry if those people looked at those pics and took them wrong and out of context!

In NO way was I making fun of any ethnicity! I was simply making a goofy face. When did that become newsworthy? It seems someone is trying to make something out of nothing to me. If that would of been anyone else, it would of been overlooked! I definitely feel like the press is trying to make me out as the new ‘BAD GIRL’!

I feel like now that Britney is back on top of her game again, they need someone to pick on! Lucky me! haha Anyway, I just wanted to let you guys know what is on my heart. You guys know me and have been by my side every step of the way! You guys know my heart and know the most important things to me are my friends, family, fans, and GOD! In NO WAY do I want to disappoint any of you! But, when I have made mistakes in the past, I feel like I’ve owned up to them and apologized.

February 5, 2009 at 6:14 am by Wendie