Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Miley Cyrus

Quotables

Dolly Parton Goes To Bat For Miley

“If you think I’m going to sit here and pass judgment on Miley, you’re wrong. I think she’s beautiful. I love her. She’s trying to grow up, you know, I remember when I was horny and young.”

- Dolly Parton defending her goddaughter Miley Cyrus’ sexy new style to MSNBC.

Miley Cyrus’ Hardcore Christian Ex Strips Down For PETA

"If I Can Dream" Does PETA

Normally it’s just not right to make fun of people when they’re trying to be charitable, but these photos that Justin Gaston took with his If I Can Dream co-stars are pretty freakin’ funny. Even if you leave out the fact that this naked man who’s grabbing boobies and straddling a lady who’s taking it from both sides is a total hardcore Christian. In fact, Justin’s known for being so Christian that it was rumored he was living with the Cyrus family when he was dating 16 year old Miley. Because, ya know, the Cyrus’ were so sure nothing funny was going on between the two of them. Ugh. Those type of Christians are my favorite.

[photos via JustJared]

So I Got To See The Real Thing In Person Last Night…

Miley Kills It At The House of Blues

My girl Wynter hooked me up last night and took me to the Miley Cyrus concert at the House of Blues where she was celebrating the release of her new album, Can’t Be Tamed. Her performance at Sunday night’s MMAs was quite the topic of conversation over here yesterday, so while I’ve never been a huge fan of Miley’s music (I mean, who doesn’t love “Party in the U.S.A.”?), I knew that I was in for one hell of a show… and yo, that girl did not disappoint.

Let me tell you something about this Miley Cyrus: She’s not a normal kid. While she was introducing the second song of the evening, she said to the audience, “I wrote this song for my mom, who’s not here tonight. She’s sick. I mean, I would have been here, but I understand.” Woah, right!? She sold her mom out on stage… and then dove into a pretty decent song that sampled the Poison song, “Every Rose Has It’s Thorn”. As a person over the age of 15, I obviously found her use of an 80s ballad to be a bit silly, but she sang the hell out of it.

For me, that’s the anecdote that summed up the night. I don’t know a 17-year old that would have the guts to mouth off about their parents in front of a room of fans, family and industry folk, but I also don’t know a 17-year old that would be able to capture the attention of a few hundred people just by jerking around on stage and singing her heart out. I mean, it’s no freakin’ wonder she’s comes off as bratty. She can afford it! Whether or not that will hold up a few years from now I’m not sure of, but for right now it’s obviously working for her.

If you’re a parent who is thinking of taking your kid to this tour but is worried that it might scar them, don’t worry about it. Seriously. None of the kids in the room had a clue that what Miley was doing with her pelvis on stage is normally only done by naked adults and the parents in the room seemed to get a kick out of it. I actually saw a mother with a gaggle of little girls smiling her face off as her daughters cluelessly watched Miley simulate sex on stage. It’s like a Disney movie that’s aimed at kids but winks at the parents. I don’t see kids winding up in therapy after seeing this, and if anything, it is probably empowering to see another young girl rock out on stage like that… but I wouldn’t be surprised if all of them were a little mouthier than usual on the car ride home to Anaheim.

Helen Mirren Goes Topless For New York Magazine

photo of helen mirren naked in a bathtub

I love Helen Mirren. And I know that she’s got a massive movie repertoire of fabulous roles and big-name productions, but you know what I remember her most for? Her best performance, in my opinion, to date? Teaching Mrs. Tingle. Remember that movie? Where Joey Potter Katie Holmes, the good girl, loses her V-card to that creepy close-eyed guy from whatever wholesome show used to be on, 7th Heaven or whatever, and they take the bitch teacher, Mrs. Tingle, hostage in her own home?

Crazy movie.

Mirren’s taking on another role, where she plays a Madam in Reno, Nevada, and her character’s supposed to be just as off-the-wall as Mrs. Tingle. Mirren recently sat with New York Magazine and bared her soul — and her boobies:

On being “notorious”:

“I am a little notorious… It’s weird when your life becomes vintage, like a period movie … I’m getting less notorious as I get older. People forget that I ever was.”

On being “the good girl who’d like to be a bad one”:

“It’s true! I haven’t grown out of that, have I?” she says, laughing. “I’m still the good girl who wants to be a bad girl. But I’ll never make it as a bad girl … I’m not a prude or a moralist and I never have been, but I’m too fearful, too much of a wimp, really.” When her husband tried to convince her to spend a night at the Mustang Ranch, Mirren refused. “I said, ‘Read my lips: I’m not going to spend a night in a brothel.’?” In the end, she dispensed with research and simply took direction. “It’s amazing how quickly you get into dildos everywhere and pink-feather handcuffs. Within an hour you’re completely used to it.”

Mirren on the younger generation:

“I’m thrilled young girls are claiming their sexuality for themselves … I love bold women: Madonna and Scarlett Johansson—sexy and gorgeous, but not only that. And Miley Cyrus—fantastic! And Lady Gaga. I love the way she’s elevated pop to performance art, or dragged performance art down to pop, or maybe made a wonderful amalgam of the two.” With her coy smile, Mirren looks like the conspiring queen who’s usurped the throne, securing the kingdom for her heirs: “My girls: Miley, Scarlett, Lady Gaga. My team … Yes.”

I’ll bet Dame Helen wouldn’t object to non-crotch shots of Miley Cyrus. She’d probably laugh and scoff and say, “That wasn’t a crotch shot back in my day … You wanna see a crotch shot? I’ll show you a crotch shot …”

And shortly thereafter, pandemonium ensues.

Yikes … She Really Can’t Be Tamed

Did you guys see Miley’s performance on last night’s MMV Awards in Canada? No, I didn’t either, but I did check out a couple of recaps early this morning. And my favorite, by far, was Miley throwing caution to the wind and exposing her own vagina (is it still child pornography, Perez, if the “child” in question wears articles — or rather, non-articles — of clothing for the purpose of intentionally exposing genitals?).

Let’s do some math. Vulva measurement across: 2.3 inches. Fabric measurement for costume crotch-landing-strip: 1.5 inches. I mean really. Because, damn. Girl’s only seventeen, but seventeen doesn’t exempt you from basic math skills, for crying out loud. And also, the fact that I want to find out the name of her obviously-talented Brazilian waxer doesn’t detract at all from the creepiness that surrounds the fact that she’s totally bare.

If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go and be uncomfortable, while making sure that all of my bustier bodysuits have ample crotch coverage. This shit just looks painful.  And embarrassing.

Miley Always Has The Hottest Boyfriends :(

Miley and Liam Do Date Night

I don’t really dig the model type, but between Justin Gaston and this Liam Hemsworth cat, Miley Cyrus has pulled in some seriously genetically blessed men. Last night she and Liam headed out on a date and the paparazzi pics show that he’s seriously, ridiculously good-looking. Do you think he’s in it for the cameras, the money or is Miley Cyrus irresistible to grade A hunks?

Miley Cyrus Guest Stars on Good Morning America, Performs With Bret Michaels

The girl’s growing on me. Honest. But I’m still going to rip the performance. I was far, far more stoked to see Michaels perform (again!) than I ever could be for a Miley performance. Not to mention, and yeah, I know it’s a live show, but she was wicked flat throughout a lot of the song. But yet, this song made the final cut to her latest album, Can’t Be Tamed. Who knows.

Miley also interviewed this morning on GMA, and discussed various topics including her coming-of-age-ness and her fans:

“You have to be who you are to the full. There’s nothing that I’m holding back. And that’s what I want to give to my girl fans. Just be who you are … It’s always going to be hard because there’s so much stuff you’ve got to get through before you an get to the stuff that’s real. There’s all the people that are like, ‘Yes! It’s gonna be great! You’re the biggest thing ever!’ when really, I just want the truth.”

Cyrus also discusses her latest upskirt scandal, and includes her thoughts on Perez Hilton:

“There are people that are negative just to be that way. You’ve got to push through all that and just be like ‘This is my life.’ ”

Good words, Miley. Not a terrible interview. But just “damn” on today’s singing. You’re pretty talented, but this was definitely one of those off-days.