Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Miley Cyrus

Billy Ray Cyrus Reacts to The Miley Bong Incident

Poor Billy Ray Cyrus. First his wife cheats on him with a grosser, blonder version of him and now his precious little daughter is all over the Internet rippin’ off a bong. That can’t be easy for the guy. Plus, his Tweet this morning apologizing for his daughter’s behavior kind of broke my heart. Like, I’m not sure that I was prepared to hear Billy Ray Cyrus say that he was “so sad.”

It sucks though, because Miley’s 18 and technically not her parents problem anymore. Between the stresses of ending his marriage with his wife and the flack he’s probably getting for “the way he raised his daughter,” the poor dude is probably beyond emotionally depleted.

Let’s go easy on Billy Ray. If anyone’s responsible for Miley’s typical 18-year old behavior, it’s her.

Miley Takes A Bong Hit, Is Totally “That Girl”

But don’t worry, it’s just salvia.  Totally legal.  Totally ok.

Now I’m pretty familiar with what weed is all about, but I have zero experience with salvia.  Being the thorough girl that I am, I went and did some research at, and it turns out that the two drugs are totally different.  With that knowledge, I’d like to state that I believe this is actually weed. Right?

I could raise my concerns about how this might affect Miley’s role model status, but I’ve done that before, so let’s take a different route.  Did anyone else find this video oddly endearing?  From the “Is that my boyfriend?  Is that my boyfriend?” to the “Are you being as weird as I think you are right now?” to the incessant giggling, I’m sure many of us have been there.*  And it’s not like Miley’s roaming the streets, she’s hanging out with some people in her house, and someone happened to leak this video.  There’s nothing way wrong with smoking behind closed doors (meth doesn’t count).

*Mine was after a shot of absinthe.  I sang the Battle Hymn of the Republic through the parking lot and had a conversation with a zebra in the backseat, and my BFF recorded it.  I’ve heard that recording approximately 1,067 times.  When was yours?

Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, We’ll Probably Be Seeing Some Miley Gooch in the Near Future

photo of miley cyrus birthday party eighteen pictures photographs

Dearest Miley:

It seems like so long ago that you were a gawky, toothy, social reject with positively no social graces, who guffawed and hee-hawed with the best of the Fisher-Price Little People Animal Sounds Farm.  Now just look at you – you’re eighteen! … but that’s about the only thing that’s changed.

It’s so refreshing to see Hollywood’s top tier of uber-talent staying true to who they are and what they do, and now you can flash your serpent socket without anyone really batting an eye or worrying about a lawsuit. They’re used to it. It’s old, girl, and now so are you.

So Happy Birthday, Miley. You’re free!

Have You Seen ‘The Miley Show’?

Saturday Night Live‘s been doing this hilarious bit this season, The Miley Cyrus Show. Last weekend when Anne Hathaway hosted, the sketch was the highlight of the show. Vanessa Bayer’s Miley impression is good (it’s the nasal “pretty cool” that really sells it) but Anne Hathaway’s bit as Katie Holmes was basically flawless.

Saturday Night Live: More of this, please!

Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth Split. Again.

Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth Split

Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth are officially “off again”. A source close to Liam shared the news with People and said, “There was no drama. The relationship just ran its course. They were good friends first and remain friends.”

You may remember that the two started dating while filming the movie The Last Song. Last year it was widely rumored that Liam was the reason Miley shut down her Twitter page, although she denied those claims. This is, I think, their third time breaking up.

This has to be a tough time for Miley, who has seemingly had a boyfriend non-stop since she was 14. Her parents are getting divorced, she’s nearly 18 (which legally makes you an adult everywhere but really seems to make you an adult in Hollywood), and she’s single. Here’s hoping she has a good support system to help keep her sane right now.

Is Miley Going to Stick With Mom or Dad Post-Divorce?

Billy Ray and Tish Cyrus are getting divorced but they’ve yet to decide how they’ll be splitting up their biggest asset: Miley. With Miley being worth close to a billion dollars, she’s obviously the family bread winner. She’ll be turning 18 soon enough, but whatever parent she chooses to keep managing her career (or at least on her payroll) will be in the money for life.

Miley seems to be sticking close to her dad ever since rumors broke that Tish cheated on Billy Ray with that sea monster Bret Michaels. A source close to the family was quoted as saying, “Miley and Billy Ray have an incredible bond. This whole situation has hurt Miley’s relationship with her mother — she’s definitly going to side with her father.”

And it seems like Miley and her mother haven’t been that close for some time now. You guys may remember that I reviewed Miley’s show at the House of Blues earlier this year where the singer put her mom on blast for skipping the show due to illness.

It’s not looking good for Tish. It’s a shame that the girl even has to make a choice, though.

Divorce Watch: Tish Finley-Cyrus Had An Affair With Bret Michaels

photo of tish finley cyrus miley cyrus mom bret michaels girlfriend pictures

After reading this story and relating it to you guys, I’m going to head to the kitchen to soak my eyes in a nice, tall, acidic glass of orange juice, and throw a giant dollop of vodka in there for good measure. Then I’m going to swish the eyes around in the glass (carefully, mind you; hard to do this shit with, you know, no eyes), suck the entire thing back – eyes and all – and let the whole mess digest in my stomach. Because the eyes? They’re so much better off down there, closer to my own bowels, than of the bowels of this story, which are sure to get blacker and stinkier before things get better.

Apparently Billy Ray Cyrus was the one who filed for divorce against his wife of a few decades, Tish Finley-Cyrus, because she couldn’t keep it in her pants, and had a long-standing affair with Bret Michaels, who Miley Cyrus has an odd musical affinity for. Or maybe … aw, fuck no, I’m not going down that road. But I will say, who knows – maybe these crazy sumbitches really do keep it all in the family. So, yeah. Gross. From Us Weekly:

Michaels, 47, “became close to the entire family” this past February when he and Miley released the racy duet “Nothing to Lose,” an insider tells Us Weekly.

He and Tish, 43, soon began carrying on an on-the-sly romance, sources tell Us Weekly. Tish was seen at Michaels’ Feb. 28 show at the Key Club in L.A., and he had once asked her production company’s help to adapt his book, Roses & Thorns, into a movie.

“Billy Ray was completely unaware of what was going on,” the source says of the “Achy Breaky Heart” crooner, who is seeking joint custody of their three minor children, Miley (who turns 18 Nov. 23), Braison, 16, and Noah, 10. (They have three older children from previous relationships.)

Though a rep for Michaels refutes the allegations, telling Us Weekly, “There has never been an affair or a fling,” and a rep for Tish also denies the dalliance, the Cyrus source insists, “It was a professional relationship that turned into something more.”

So there you have it guys. They’re clearly sleeping together. Like, as we speak. While listening to “Achy, Breaky Heart.” On a zebra-print rug in front of Bret’s heart-shaped, rose-adorned bed.

… Git your glasses ready, Shep … I’m on my way out the kitch’n and I’ma headin’ for that big ol’ bottle!