I love Helen Mirren. And I know that she’s got a massive movie repertoire of fabulous roles and big-name productions, but you know what I remember her most for? Her best performance, in my opinion, to date? Teaching Mrs. Tingle. Remember that movie? Where
Joey Potter Katie Holmes, the good girl, loses her V-card to that creepy close-eyed guy from whatever wholesome show used to be on, 7th Heaven or whatever, and they take the bitch teacher, Mrs. Tingle, hostage in her own home?
Mirren’s taking on another role, where she plays a Madam in Reno, Nevada, and her character’s supposed to be just as off-the-wall as Mrs. Tingle. Mirren recently sat with New York Magazine and bared her soul — and her boobies:
On being “notorious”:
“I am a little notorious… It’s weird when your life becomes vintage, like a period movie … I’m getting less notorious as I get older. People forget that I ever was.”
On being “the good girl who’d like to be a bad one”:
“It’s true! I haven’t grown out of that, have I?” she says, laughing. “I’m still the good girl who wants to be a bad girl. But I’ll never make it as a bad girl … I’m not a prude or a moralist and I never have been, but I’m too fearful, too much of a wimp, really.” When her husband tried to convince her to spend a night at the Mustang Ranch, Mirren refused. “I said, ‘Read my lips: I’m not going to spend a night in a brothel.’?” In the end, she dispensed with research and simply took direction. “It’s amazing how quickly you get into dildos everywhere and pink-feather handcuffs. Within an hour you’re completely used to it.”
Mirren on the younger generation:
“I’m thrilled young girls are claiming their sexuality for themselves … I love bold women: Madonna and Scarlett Johansson—sexy and gorgeous, but not only that. And Miley Cyrus—fantastic! And Lady Gaga. I love the way she’s elevated pop to performance art, or dragged performance art down to pop, or maybe made a wonderful amalgam of the two.” With her coy smile, Mirren looks like the conspiring queen who’s usurped the throne, securing the kingdom for her heirs: “My girls: Miley, Scarlett, Lady Gaga. My team … Yes.”
I’ll bet Dame Helen wouldn’t object to non-crotch shots of Miley Cyrus. She’d probably laugh and scoff and say, “That wasn’t a crotch shot back in my day … You wanna see a crotch shot? I’ll show you a crotch shot …”
And shortly thereafter, pandemonium ensues.