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Miley Cyrus

3STFU: Miley Cyrus Is Too “Urban” For One Direction

miley cyrus harry styles

Miley Cyrus really needs to stop now. She’s gone from being acceptably young (therefore excusing some of the less than stellar shit that comes out of her mouth) to extremely obnoxious in a very short amount of time. Case in point: In an interview with UK’s Heat magazine (via DS), Miley claimed that she couldn’t name a single One Direction song because she only listens to “urban” music. Yes, she actually called it “urban”. That’s a sign you need to shut up.

“Don’t ask me to name a song or something because I can’t do that. I know what they look like,” Cyrus said.

“I think I met Harry, I think, backstage, I don’t really remember that much. I just remember my sister was super-excited.

“I don’t really know them that much, that is bad, but I listen to urban.”

LOL yeah, okay. I don’t even care that she can’t name a One Direction song – I’m sure lots of people can’t. I mean, I don’t listen to them actively but I still know a few songs because they’re ALWAYS on the radio, but whatevs. Listen, I’m not trying to say our tastes don’t evolve or that she doesn’t have the right to listen to whatever the hell she wants to. After all, hip hop is amazing. It was my first music – the first tapes I bought in the early ’90s were Mary J Blige’s What’s the 411? and TLC’s Ooooooohhh… On the TLC Tip and I’m white, so no shade there. However, I feel like Miley’s not into hip hop because she really loves hip hop and feels the culture and spirit behind it but instead because… it’s an excuse to twerk and seem “with it”? I dunno. Between this shit and claiming she’s secretly like Lil Kim, she kinda makes me want to bash my head against a wall these days.

Also, let’s just all remember this for a minute:

July 27, 2013 at 12:30 pm by Jennifer

7Miley “Accidentally” Tweeted A Series Of Personal Texts

miley cyrus instagram chanel photo

Miley Cyrus doesn’t know how to use twitter, it seems. At least that’s what she’d like us to believe, as whenever she tweets something juicy it gets taken down and followed with a, “Aw shucks my twitter.com internet thingee got the hacking to it! My bad, y’all!” She tried using that excuse again when she “accidentally” tweeted a series of personal texts between her and someone named “FEFE” (could it be Fefe Dobson? lolz) in which Ms. Cyrus reveals her love of Xanax:

miley xanax

In Miley speak, “zanny” = “Xanax.” Cute! Cyrus followed that tweet up with this tweet (via Zimbio),

Someone has hacked my twitter. I’m back in action now! Wtf! If that shit!

Miley. You keep using this word, “hack.” It does not mean what you think it means. She tried again with another tweet:

Never mind. Realized I’m just an idiot & somehow I butt tweeted my conversation. Missing home #foodpoisoningsabitch.

Uh, okay. So…you (accidentally?) took a screenshot of your texts…and then somehow accidentally put that on twitter? All with the phone in your pants pocket? Come on. Come on, Miley. Miley, come on.

July 26, 2013 at 3:30 pm by Catherine St. Ives
Filed Under: Miley Cyrus

4Even Miley Cyrus Wants Justin Bieber To Go Away

2010 MuchMusic Video Awards - Show

It certainly doesn’t bode well when arguably one of the most annoying celebs out there at the moment is tired of you, but that’s exactly what’s happening. Twerker of the Year Miley Cyrus has admitted that she basically told Justin Bieber flat out that he needs to take a break from showbiz for a while and kinda fade away until everyone forgets about him. I never thought I’d utter the next sentence, but here goes: Listen to Miley Cyrus.

In an interview with The People, Miley basically said Justin’s an idiot but all young people are and he should probably take a few steps back:

“I told Justin to take a bit of time out and people aren’t so obsessed with you and nit-pick. When you’re not around, all they want is your music. They want to see what the next thing is. But when your music is out they just want to talk shit about you.”

“When you’re a worldwide star, everyone sees everything. Lots of people make a video and put it on Instagram, some people might think it’s funny but because it’s Justin Bieber, it’s like really bad. I always tell him just to be cool and not talk about it because when you talk it fuels the fire. He’s still stupid though. But everyone does dumb stuff when they are messed up.”

When they are messed up? Well then how about you don’t get drunk off your ass or off your head on drugs and then try to use it as an excuse to be an utter asshole? God, kids are stupid. I know Miley’s in her molly/weed/coke phase right now, but she needs to tone that shit down, because your decision to be a fuckin’ druggie since you’re young and ~love to party~ is not the world’s responsibility to deal with. It’s your responsibility to keep your behaviour in check and if you can’t, then NOT TO PUT YOURSELF IN THAT STATE. Lord almighty.

July 23, 2013 at 10:30 am by Jennifer

0Miley Cyrus Loves That You Think She’s a Lesbian

miley cyrus

Miley Cyrus got a lot of shit for cutting all her hair off last year since everyone was all used to her being (stereotypically) femme-y and all Hannah Montana-y and whatnot. Some people even began speculating on her sexuality, and many attempted to “insult” her by calling her a lesbian. One small problem with that, though: she actually takes that as a compliment, LOL!

From The Toronto Sun:

“Everyone said I was a lesbian but I’m like, ‘Being a lesbian isn’t a bad thing. So if you think I look a lesbian, I’m not offended. You can call me much worse’. I’ve been called much worse. Being a lesbian is a compliment more than what else they call me.

“People think short hair, they think tomboy… and I’ve obviously done the opposite ’cause when I cut my hair, I did my first Maxim cover where I got No 1 (in their annual hot list). And it wasn’t about me being the sexiest. It was about the fans voting. But it’s something I loved. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Maxim cover with a girl with short hair.”

She added: “No one would have planned a haircut to change my life. There’s something about having no hair that it screams being confident.

“And I think especially because people like to put people in a box, I mean the names I’ve been called since I cut my hair.”

I’m so torn with Miley. I really like her sometimes – like here – and then others, she comes off like an obnoxious prat. I was listening her to Grimmy’s Radio 1 Breakfast Show yesterday morning and she was saying shit like that she “created an empire for herself from the age of 11″ (yes, seriously) and how she loved making a male fan of hers twerk in heels for concert tickets, because “if you can make ‘em do it, do!” I was like, girl… no. But anyway, it’s totally cool if you wanna call Miley gay. She’s totally secure in herself and totally still engaged!

July 19, 2013 at 6:30 am by Jennifer
Filed Under: Miley Cyrus

0How About No of the Day: Miley Cyrus Is Just Like Lil Kim Inside

miley cyrus

Miley is going through some shit right now, so I’ve tried to remain patient until she gets it out of her system. Let her twerk, pop molly, smoke weed until she can’t see straight, whatever. It’s not hurting anyone (besides the entire culture she’s appropriating, but we won’t go there), so no harm done. Except she just keeps getting more and more ridiculous and now she’s trying to claim that she’s actually like Lil Kim on the inside. Uh…………………………………… no.

From Billboard:

“In my past life, I feel like that was me. I feel like Lil Kim is who I am on the inside. She just makes me happy… I just love her and I can’t help that I love her.”

WHAT? But before we discuss this, there’s more:

“I have to put Nicki as [my fourth favorite] because I had Kim,” she said. “You can’t choose one, so if you say Kim, then you’ve got to say Nicki. And Nicki is now the Lil Kim of my generation.”

Okay, there are so many things wrong with all of this.

1. Your little white ass – who had never so much as heard a single Jay-Z song when singing about him in ‘Party In the USA’ is nothing like Lil Kim, who in 1996 at the age of 22, released one of the most AMAZING female rap albums that was also one of the most lewd, raw shit you will ever hear (and that’s a compliment). Seriously, as a 12-year-old I had no business listening to songs that had ‘I don’t want d*ck tonight/eat my p*ssy right’ as a chorus, but best believe I LOVED it. Miley was 4 when that album came out, which is not to say that you can’t like things that are before your time, but SERIOUSLY HOW IS SHE ANYTHING LIKE LIL KIM?

2. Nicki is definitely not this generation’s Lil Kim. I mean, she is insofar as the fact that she’s the most prominent female rapper in the game right now, but their careers are literally nothing alike, side from the fact that they’re both from NYC and came up through mix tapes and a larger crew (Nicki with Wayne, Kim with Junior Mafia/BIG).

I get that I’m thinking about this way too much and this is not a rap theory blog, but my brain is going to spontaneously combust if Miley keeps this shit up.

July 4, 2013 at 10:30 am by Jennifer

4Oh Shit: Miley Cyrus Is Ready To Reveal All of Billy Ray’s Secrets

miley cyrus billy ray cyrus

Miley Cyrus has always had a bit of a weird relationship with dad Billy Ray, as was evidenced when he went around telling the press that it was Miley’s fame that was destroying his relationship with wife Tish. He and Tish are actually getting a divorce this time (after a few false alarms), and apparently Miley is giving her father an ultimatum on coming clean about SOME unknown bullshit. The twerker of the year took to Twitter (of course) to threaten Billy Ray about “telling the truth” or else she would. Of course, she deleted the tweet a few minutes after, later blaming it on Twitter “acting crazy”, but of course we got a screencap of that shit.

miley cyrus dylis croman twitter

If you’re wondering who the woman is with Miley, that’s Dylis Croman, a woman who co-starred with Billy in Chicago last year. I think we all know the big secret here: Billy Ray couldn’t keep his dick in his pants and had an affair. Tale as old as time, girl. Anyway, here’s Miley’s “excuse” for what happened after she deleted the above message:


LOL yeah, okay.

June 27, 2013 at 2:30 pm by Jennifer