Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Miley Cyrus

How About No of the Day: Miley Cyrus Is Just Like Lil Kim Inside

miley cyrus

Miley is going through some shit right now, so I’ve tried to remain patient until she gets it out of her system. Let her twerk, pop molly, smoke weed until she can’t see straight, whatever. It’s not hurting anyone (besides the entire culture she’s appropriating, but we won’t go there), so no harm done. Except she just keeps getting more and more ridiculous and now she’s trying to claim that she’s actually like Lil Kim on the inside. Uh…………………………………… no.

From Billboard:

“In my past life, I feel like that was me. I feel like Lil Kim is who I am on the inside. She just makes me happy… I just love her and I can’t help that I love her.”

WHAT? But before we discuss this, there’s more:

“I have to put Nicki as [my fourth favorite] because I had Kim,” she said. “You can’t choose one, so if you say Kim, then you’ve got to say Nicki. And Nicki is now the Lil Kim of my generation.”

Okay, there are so many things wrong with all of this.

1. Your little white ass – who had never so much as heard a single Jay-Z song when singing about him in ‘Party In the USA’ is nothing like Lil Kim, who in 1996 at the age of 22, released one of the most AMAZING female rap albums that was also one of the most lewd, raw shit you will ever hear (and that’s a compliment). Seriously, as a 12-year-old I had no business listening to songs that had ‘I don’t want d*ck tonight/eat my p*ssy right’ as a chorus, but best believe I LOVED it. Miley was 4 when that album came out, which is not to say that you can’t like things that are before your time, but SERIOUSLY HOW IS SHE ANYTHING LIKE LIL KIM?

2. Nicki is definitely not this generation’s Lil Kim. I mean, she is insofar as the fact that she’s the most prominent female rapper in the game right now, but their careers are literally nothing alike, side from the fact that they’re both from NYC and came up through mix tapes and a larger crew (Nicki with Wayne, Kim with Junior Mafia/BIG).

I get that I’m thinking about this way too much and this is not a rap theory blog, but my brain is going to spontaneously combust if Miley keeps this shit up.

Oh Shit: Miley Cyrus Is Ready To Reveal All of Billy Ray’s Secrets

miley cyrus billy ray cyrus

Miley Cyrus has always had a bit of a weird relationship with dad Billy Ray, as was evidenced when he went around telling the press that it was Miley’s fame that was destroying his relationship with wife Tish. He and Tish are actually getting a divorce this time (after a few false alarms), and apparently Miley is giving her father an ultimatum on coming clean about SOME unknown bullshit. The twerker of the year took to Twitter (of course) to threaten Billy Ray about “telling the truth” or else she would. Of course, she deleted the tweet a few minutes after, later blaming it on Twitter “acting crazy”, but of course we got a screencap of that shit.

miley cyrus dylis croman twitter

If you’re wondering who the woman is with Miley, that’s Dylis Croman, a woman who co-starred with Billy in Chicago last year. I think we all know the big secret here: Billy Ray couldn’t keep his dick in his pants and had an affair. Tale as old as time, girl. Anyway, here’s Miley’s “excuse” for what happened after she deleted the above message:


LOL yeah, okay.

Britney Wants To Twerk With Miley PLUS Miley’s About To Make A Paparazzo’s Life A Living Hell

miley cyrus el rey 2013

Miley Cyrus‘ new video for “We Can’t Stop” is full of “is this changing my image yet?” sights, including the dance move all the kids are suddenly doing: “twerking.” Here’s Miley doing it (center, in white) surrounded by lots of black women, for scenery street cred. (There’s a debate going on right now fueled by Jezebel about whether or not Miley is appropriating “rachet culture” and is “accessorizing with black people” but that’s not something I’m getting into here.)

miley we can't stop gif

Anyway the point here is that Britney Spears is showing her approval for Miley’s new video and moves, as evidenced in this tweet:

Loving your new video for #WeCantStop @MileyCyrus! Maybe you can teach me how to twerk sometime LOL ;) xo

“LOL”, a winkey-faced emoticon, and an “xo”? Someone’s really serious here!

As for Miley twitter updates, she’s about to make some paparazzo’s life a living hell by tweeting earlier,

If you see this douche RAM HIM. #fuckpaps pic.twitter.com/2H3VVdtRzd

That link is a photo of said paparazzo’s car, license plate and all. This could be a HUGE clusterf-ck.

Just Bein’ Miley: Miley Cyrus Calls A Paparazzo A Bitch

miley cyrus hardcore

Miley Cyrus is so hardcore, you guys. This isn’t the same Miley we’ve grown to love tolerate. And you know what? I like this new Miley better. This Miley isn’t taking crap, and I though I don’t think her approach was classy, she was justified in her anger and the, ah, spirit of her message when she cursed at a paparazzo. The story from Gossip Cop:

The “We Can’t Stop” singer was swarmed by photographers upon exiting a medical building in Beverly Hills on Wednesday. One paparazzo asked the singer, “Miley are you pregnant?” to which Cyrus shot back, “No, I’m f-cking sick you bitch!”

Boom.

Ms. Cyrus is reportedly sick with laryngitis.

Here’s video of the whole thing. In case you really, really need to see it.

Sacrilege! Miley Cyrus Thinks Her Old Music Was “Irritating”

miley cyrus

Miley, girl, I’m trying to stick with you. I want to be there for you through this difficult time but you’re not making it easy, especially when you think your new music is great and start talking shit about your old stuff, which was POP GOLD. Hello, ‘Party In the USA’? ‘See You Again’? ‘The Climb’? I don’t think I need to go on here.

From Billboard:

“Right now, when people go to iTunes and listen to my old music, it’s so irritating to me because I can’t just erase that stuff and start over,” she says. “My last record [2009's EDM-inflected Can't Be Tamed] I feel so disconnected from-I was 16 or 17 when I made it. When you’re in your 20s, you just don’t really know that person anymore.”

Cyrus herself says, “I want to start as a new artist. I consider my upcoming album my first, really.”

Well, Miley, that’s called growing up. I love that she acts like all of these realisations are brand new to the human race and no one else has ever been through them. Everyone thinks the teenage version of themselves is totally cornball – that’s just the way these things work. I don’t expect her to think her old shit was amazing (it was pretty gold standard in places, as far as pop music goes) but don’t hate on it, girl. Those songs and your past are the reason you can afford to make shitty “music” now and sit on your ass doing Molly and smoking weed while you “find yourself“.

Now, let’s relive ‘Party In the USA’ and try to forget that locker room interview she did after this came out when she said she has never listened to Jay-Z and didn’t know anything about rap because she’s so country. LOL!

Miley Cyrus ‘Found Herself’ Recording New Album

miley cyrus

We all know Miley Cyrus is going through some shit, as reflected in her new “music”. If single ‘We Can’t Stop’ is anything to go by (as well as all the “Liam left her because she’s a party animal stories), she spends much of her time doing drugs, drinking and twerking. As you do at that age, I guess? I don’t know, that was never my scene. In any case, Miley wants us all to know that in the process of her rebirth as the poor man’s white Rihanna, she found herself and got in contact with her spirit’s essence or some bullshit.

Tell Billboard (via DS) all your feels, Miley:

“I’m not the same person I was six months ago – I’m not even the same person I was two weeks ago.

“It’s not like I’m losing who I am – I actually found out more about who I am by making this music.”

The singer unveiled her new single ‘We Can’t Stop’ earlier this month, which serves as the lead cut from her upcoming fourth studio album.

Cyrus added that she has “given everything” during the recording process for the LP.

“I never stop working, ever,” she admitted. “I want my record to be the biggest record in the world, and I’ve given everything to get here, even down to friends and family and relationships – I’ve just put this music first.”

Oh snap! She gave RELATIONSHIPS to this album. Is she admitting that she’s no longer with Liam, even though she keeps insisting she’s engaged? Does ‘We Can’t Stop’ even count as music? Can songs about shaking your ass and taking Molly really be life-changing? So many questions, so little caring about the actual answers.

Amanda Bynes Is Sorry For Calling Everyone Ugly… Except For Drake, Sort Of

amanda bynes

Amanda Bynes may or may not be faking this whole insanity thing (nope, she’s not), and she’s starting to want to make amends with all the people she’s called ugly. Well, at least Miley Cyrus and Drake… sorta.

Here’s the scoop: After Amanda insulted Miley for no apparent reason, Miley responded, saying:

“I was rooting for her comeback until she started attacking me. And I just thought it was hilarious that she mentioned my name the moment I was the worldwide trending topic on Twitter.”

Okay, first of all, there’s nothing “hilarious” about that – that’s you having your head up your own ass, Miley. You know what else is a trending topic on Twitter right this second? #BugünMilyonlarKAZLIÇE?MEDE – and I don’t see who/whatever the hell that is getting all huffy. Anyway, that’s besides the point. Amanda apparently had a change of heart and said that now Miley’s one of the prettiest:


Well, that’s… special. And even Perez Hilton got an apology! And I don’t even think he deserved one!


Unfortunately, Drake was left out in the cold and in fact she re-stated her earlier insistence that he’s one ugly dude. But wait! She’s had ANOTHER change of heart and now Drake’s back in her good books now, as well.


I don’t know what’s going on, but whatever. We’ll probably never find out.