No, it’s actually kind of cute, really, if you can get past the fact that Megan doesn’t want anything to do with non-English-speaking men.

The commercial is for CCAA, which is a Brazilian-based language school that is trying to implement a country-wide campaign to push for a universal education of the English language. In short, two young men are shipwrecked (plane-wrecked?) on “Megan Fox Island,” and upon finding out that the men aren’t bilingual, Megan captures them in a net and ships them off to – you guessed it – “Mike Tyson Island.”

I’ll admit, the island names aren’t really all that creative, and the idea of being turned off because someone speaks a different language is kind of questionable, but you can’t deny that Megan Fox is still so, so hot, and Mike Tyson, though he only speaks five words, can deliver his lines and be funny at the same time.

What else has Megan Fox been up to, though, you ask? Well … this commercial here, this is pretty much it. And the only thing she’s really got on the horizon is that possibility of yanking Lindsay Lohan‘s Liz Taylor role in that Lifetime movie that’s supposed to be made.

Megan also recently visited Turkey to film a Doritos commercial (!), and did a few amusing interviews, one of which where she admitted to not knowing that Istanbul is not some small town in Turkey. Mind the translation, as the interview excerpt came from a Turkish newspaper:

SABA TÜMER: Hi Megan, how are you? It’s your first time in Turkey, you just arrived yesterday? What did you know about Turkey prior to your visit? What did you expected and what have you seen so far here?

MEGAN FOX: I knew a few things about Turkey. Like you have the most ancient temple on earth … and it is not far from where we are right now.

SABA TÜMER: And you made this research before or after the offer for the [Doritos] ad was made?

MEGAN FOX: I knew this already, because I’ve watched a show called ”Ancient Aliens”. It sounds silly, but it is about ancient temples and pyramids. I watched the special episode about this temple. I can’t pronounce it correctly right now, but it is a ‘Göbekli Tepe’.

SABA TÜMER: So you are interested in archaeology and history? Do you read a lot ?

MEGAN FOX: No, I really don’t take a book and read. I read from my iPad.

SABA: How did you find Istanbul? Did you go shopping? Have you tried traditional Turkish cuisine yet?

MEGAN FOX: No, not yet. Haven’t found the chance yet. But I will do it today. I want to visit The Grand Bazaar and the Mosques. I want to eat Turkish food as soon as possible. This is not like what I did expect here. I thought Istanbul was a town. But it is a metropolis, with big urbanization and industry. So many buildings everywhere; I didn’t expect this.

SABA: Everyone can be actor, but not everyone can be star. Why do you think you became a star?

MEGAN FOX: I think that God is relevant. It is faith completely.

SABA: Would you like to be an actress again in a second life?

MEGAN FOX: No, I would not be.

SABA: Why?

MEGAN FOX: I’d go back to school I’d be an archaeologist.

SABA: Celebrities like doing tattoos as much as you do. How many tattoos you got?

MEGAN FOX: I have 8 …

SABA: Just see one now …

MEGAN FOX: Yes, but I will have it removed.

SABA: Why?

MEGAN FOX: It is a Marilyn Monroe tatoo. I’ve done it at 18, I do not want it anymore.

SABA: I guess you do not want it because she had a bad life?

MEGAN: Most def.

So, we gather that Megan Fox likes aliens, archaeology, regrettable decisions, and tattoos. But probably not Doritos. No, this girl doesn’t look like she’s been eating any Doritos at all. Fascinating interview, right?

So I finally watched the Roast of Charlie Sheen yesterday—it aired Monday night, yes, but I was busy—and I have to admit this Roast was pretty good. Not Bob Saget good, but then again, what is?

There was a real likelihood of the evening falling flat. How do you parody a parody? How do you make light of wife-beating? And who invites Mike Tyson to do stand-up, even? But the jokes were scathing, and the Roast bit to the quick. I’ve rolled my eyes at Charlie Sheen‘s recent I-Don’t-Have-a-Job Humble Pie Remorse Tour, and I don’t like him, but he sure did take his lumps like a champ. (Some critics are saying the jokes weren’t mean enough, but seriously, how many more jokes about Sheen ruining his kids’ lives did we really need?)

Warming Glow has compiled a comprehensive guide to some of the best zings of the night. Here’s a sampling.

Comedian Anthony Jeselnik, to Charlie Sheen:

- “Every minute of your life looks like the first two minutes of SVU.”

- “The only reason you got on TV in the first place is because God hates Michael J. Fox.” (Cut to actor Richard Kind, in the audience, having a heart attack.)

Jeffrey Ross:

- “If you’re ‘winning’, this must not be a child custody hearing. The only time your kids get to see you is in reruns. Don’t you want to live to see their first 12 steps?”

Jon Lovitz:

- “How much blow can Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men!”

Amy Schumer:

- “You’re just like Bruce Willis: you were big in the ’80s, and now your old slot is being filled by Ashton Kutcher.”

Steve-O of Jackass:

- “Charlie still hasn’t hit rock bottom. He’s looking forward to it, though, because he thinks there’s a rock there.”

Charlie, on Charlie:

- “You are all worthy adversaries. But you can’t kill me. Because I can’t kill me.”

The Roast’s guests also roasted one another, as per usual. Actress Kate Walsh, to William Shatner:

- “I’m so, so happy to see that William Shatner is here, because a medical colleague had told me that you’d passed on. I said, ‘Bullsh—t. You ever seen his resume? Shatner’s never passed on anything.”

Rips on Mike Tyson:

- Seth MacFarlane: “He’s a guy who’s beaten every opponent he’s gone up against—except the letter ‘S.’”

- Jeffrey Ross: “Your opponents spent more time bleeding in the corner than Charlie’s ex-wives.”

According to a completely unscientific survey, the evening belonged to comedians Jeffrey Ross and Anthony Jeselnik. Seth MacFarlane was a wonderful roastmaster, and Shatner finished the evening strong. The real #winner, though, was Comedy Central itself: with 6.4 million viewers, it was the highest rated Roast yet.

Despite some uneasy jokes, the mood was positive, and there was also a recurring theme about redemption or whatever. Then, after the Roast was already over, Steve-O finally, successfully broke his own nose against Mike Tyson’s fist. There Steve-O stood, triumphant and stone-sober, even as his nose began to squirt blood.

Here’s William Shatner, dispensing some sage NSFW advice (“Prostitutes cost a lot of money, Charlie. Hasn’t anyone told you that actresses will sleep with you for free?”):

Mike Tyson posted this photo to Twitter two days ago (via), along with the caption, “Moments like this make everything all worth it. Check out my young fan with my face tattoo.”

Frankly, it was irresponsible of Tyson to post this photo. What if tattoo artist S. Victor Whitmill tries to sue the pants off this baby? (See also.)

I know you guys have been really curious about what Mike Tyson has been doing with his life.  I know you read articles on this site and think “Yeah, that Lindsay Lohan is great and all, but what’s Mike been up to?”  Well, consider this your lucky day, because I’m here to let you in on the latest development: birds.

Pigeons, to be exact.  To be even more exact, 2,500 pigeons. Mike Tyson owns 2,500 pigeons.  He says that he has “birds everywhere that I go,” and that he has them “at different homes that I live and hang out at.”  There’s even going to be a documentary about his pets, set to be aired next year.  And I think that is just bananas.

I’m not trying to come down on birds, but I hate birds.  I’m not saying that they should be systematically eradicated from the earth, I’m just saying that they make shitty pets.  They just make noise and peck at you and scratch you and get caught in your hair, and even though you know that the bird is way more freaked out than you, you can’t help but to flail and scream because there is a creature tangled up on your head. And have you ever tried to pet a bird?  So unsatisfying.

The point is this: Mike Tyson has officially gone crazy.  I mean, I know that he’s always been crazy, but 2,500 birds is a new level.  That is Heidi Fleiss crazy, and that is not a place where you want to be.

Zach Braff (yum) is escorted onstage at Spike TV’s 7th annual Video Game Awards. Other winners and presenters included Olivia Wilde, my girl crush Tricia Helfer, and the cast of Jersey Shore onstage with Mike Tyson (my very soul cringes at the possible dialogue).

All that and more in the gallery!

I have to say, I don’t have a lot of sympathy for the photog who got his ass punched and bloodied by Mike Tyson at LAX on Wednesday. Tyson was trying to find his misplaced luggage after a flight from London with his wife and 10-month-old daughter when the photog reportedly got in his face. Look, I get it, violence is never the answer, but you’ve gotta have some sort of death wish to be anything but uber-polite to Mike Tyson, especially when he’s with his family. The guy’s had a hell of a year, and I don’t blame him for taking a zero-tolerance policy with the paps.

We’re told Tyson was at a ticket counter at the United Airlines terminal when the incident occurred. The photographer got punched in the face, hit the ground, got up and began walking, leaving a trail of blood. An LAPD spokesperson said the photographer suffered a minor laceration to the forehead.

Someone at the scene tells TMZ … the photographer got very close to Tyson before the boxer struck him. Our says there’s blood on the ground and Mike was taken away in a squad car. We’re told an ambulance was dispatched at 4:39 PM to LAX and the paparazzo was transported to a local hospital.

Cops say Tyson and the photographer performed citizen’s arrests on each other — both are expected to be booked for misdemeanor battery. Cops also said witnesses backed both stories … so that could get interesting.

If Tyson is prosecuted, given that he’s a former boxing champ, the charge could end up being assault with a deadly weapon.

Okay, question: How do you actually perform a citizen’s arrest? Is that a real thing? Because one time this angry and probably undersexed lady on the street yelled at me for tossing a cigarette on the sidewalk, and she was all like, “That’s illegal, you know” and I was all like, “Then you should probably perform a citizen’s arrest, bitch” and afterward I was all like, “I wonder if she actually could have done that.”

As many of you know, Mike Tyson got married last week, just two weeks after losing his four-year-old daughter.  Who can judge?  If his new wife Lahika Spicer, can help him cope with these dark days, so be it.

One thing I do know:  these two are kindred spirits, sharing lots of things in common including their matching history of serving time. 

Spicer spent six months in a federal penitentiary last year for taking $71,000 for a teaching job in Philadelphia that she never actually showed up for.  Not good.  And, of course, Mike Tyson served three years for rape back in the ’90s.

Just two weeks after the tragic death of his four-year-old daughter, Exodus, Mike Tyson married girlfriend Lakiha Spicer in Las Vegas. It’s his third marriage.

The wedding took place on Saturday in a private ceremony at the La Bella Wedding Chapel, its owner Shawn Absher told Reuters.

“No guests whatsoever, just the bride and groom,” Absher said. “Very intimate, sincere. Mike seemed very happy.”

I suppose there are a lot of things that could be said here, in light of the recent events in Tyson’s life. And in light of the recent events in Tyson’s life, I’ll refrain from saying them. I do wish him all the best.

Not just as a parent but just as a general human being, it breaks my heart to report this.

CNN is reporting that Mike Tyson’s 4-year-old daughter Exodus has died from her injuries after an accidental strangling via treadmill cable yesterday.

Why do things like this happen?  I don’t know what the lesson is.

Prayers, thoughts and strength sent out to their entire family.

Thanks, Shanna.

I don’t even know what to say. This is so horrible, beyond words.

Mike Tyson’s 4-year-old daughter Exodus is on life support after an accident involving home exercise equipment, the Associated Press reports.

In what police in Phoenix call a tragic accident Monday morning at Tyson’s home there, the girl was reportedly found by her 7-year-old brother with her neck caught in a cable attached to a treadmill. The boy alerted the girl’s mother in another room. Her mother called 911 and tried to revive her, according to the AP. Mike Tyson was said to be in Las Vegas at the time of the accident, but has returned home.

Phoenix police Sgt. Andy Hill told FOX News, “Somehow she was playing on this treadmill, and there’s a cord that hangs under the console – it’s kind of a loop. Either she slipped or put her head in the loop, but it acted like a noose, and she was obviously unable to get herself off of it.”

Emergency personnel performed CPR on Exodus, who was rushed to St. Joseph’s Hospital where she remains on life support, according to the Fox News report. Sgt. Hill described her condition as “extremely critical.”

What an awful, awful accident. It’s the kind of thing that seems like nobody’s fault. It’s just unspeakably awful. Hasn’t this family been through enough? My thoughts and prayers are with the Tyson family right now.

Well, I can’t believe I’m about to write these words but apparently Mike Tyson is doling out advice regarding domestic violence.  Feel free to take a moment to let that sink in.

And maybe I’m being overcritical, but there’s something about how he calls women “them” during an interview with MTV that doesn’t sit well with me.  Who ever knew a pronoun could sound offensive?

“You can’t abuse them,” he tells MTV. “It’s really sick what you [can] do. She has a space in your heart and you believe you care about her more than anybody in the world.

“Do I think it’s right to beat up a woman? No — hell no,” he adds. “Have I hit a woman before? Hell yeah. Was I wrong? Hell yeah. I’m a product of that environment. Do I regret ever doing that? Hell yeah. Would I do it again? Never.”

He shared his opinion on the Chris Brown/Rihanna debacle as well:

It’s none of my business, but you know what I say about that? I understand the situation. I understand passion with young kids,” Tyson, 42, tells MTV News.

“My personal opinion about that is, he’s just a baby,” adds the former heavyweight champ, who is the subject of a new documentary, Tyson, out Friday. “He’s just a little baby that don’t know how to handle his emotions when it comes to a woman. And he probably hears this and thinks, ‘I know how to handle my emotions’; we all think we do.

“But the fact [is],” Tyson continues, “you look at this person and you might be crazy in love, but we don’t know how to handle those feelings.”

What could have led Brown to beat Rihanna, 21? Tyson blames a “pimp mentality” that is prevalent among young people. “Now you’re a fly guy and a cool guy [you think] … you have to be hard like that,” he says.

Listen, I’m happy anytime a celeb takes a stand against domestic violence.  In some ways, it’s even more meaningful coming out of Mike Tyson’s mouth since he’s had a penchant in the past for punching women in the mouth and has a rap sheet the length of my inseam to prove it.  But why the excuses?  Why does it have to be about “pimp mentality” and youth?  Why can’t it just be totally effing unacceptable?

If it helps at all I’ve seen Todd in concert and I’m fairly sure he’s insane.

One last thing, to be in on the joke note the name of the song.. it’s not just a tribute.