Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino

MTV Doesn’t Want The Situation or Snooki Anymore

photo of the situation and snooki pictures photos pics
From TMZ:

With Snooki pregnant and The Situation getting sober, the people behind “Jersey Shore” are FREAKED the show will lose its sex-crazed alcohol-fueled edge — so they’re looking to phase the two out … in favor of newer, wilder castmates.

MTV released a statement earlier this week — following news Sitch was seeking substance abuse treatment — claiming the network expects the entire cast to return for Season 6 … but sources close to 495 Productions tell TMZ, the production company is currently looking for new talent.

According to sources, 495 desperately wants to keep things fresh — and folding in new castmates will help transition the show into a new generation … while still keeping old fans hooked.

We’re told 495 plans to limit Snooki and The Situation’s roles on the new season — giving new cast members more screen time instead.

The show is set to begin filming this summer. 495 had no comment.

Well that’s good news, isn’t it? Especially in light of my recent concerns that MTV would be glamorizing The Situation’s imminent relapse and stressing Snooki out during her pregnancy? Good news, right? Well, it’s a double-edged sword, really. It’s great that MTV won’t be contributing to the inevitable in both cases, but it’s frankly f-cking scary that they’re seeking out a “new generation” of guidos and guidettes, because seriously, these people need to be stopped. I mean honestly, how many lives need to be ruined by bad decisions influenced by drugs and alcohol and music you can fist-pump to? Whether or not Snooki and The Situation would have ended up in their situations if Jersey Shore had never been a thing is neither here nor there – they are in their situations as a direct result of the hype around their reality show, and this is how things turned out. How many people really need to be brought into the fold for the sake of ratings? How many more weak-minded and weak-willed people in desperate need of attention need to be exploited for public consumption and entertainment?

Moreover, what’s going to happen to Snooki and The Situation now? Their careers have been more important to them than anything else in their lives for the past few years, and now that it’s being taken away … I don’t know, guys. I just don’t see this playing out very well on anybody’s end, no matter what stance you take.

The Situation Is Definitely Going to Keep Partying After Rehab

A photo of Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino

Well, this is a pretty sad story. You know how The Situation is in rehab for being addicted to pills and booze? Ok, and you know how lots of clubs and bars often have at least one of those things? Now think about how often The Situation goes into bars and clubs for his reality show or for public appearances.

Yeah, that’s going to keep right on happening after he gets out of rehab:

Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino doesn’t want to give up the nightlife — especially his lucrative promotional appearances – when he gets out of rehab, where he is currently undergoing treatment for an addiction to prescription pills,RadarOnline.com has exclusively learned.

As RadarOnline.com was first to report, the reality star has been battling a prescription pill problem for months after years of hard partying.

As is the case with his other Jersey Shorecohorts, the MTV star can command a hefty six figure appearance fee at clubs and has become very dependent on that income, and it’s something he is not willing to walk away from, despite his inevitable battle to stay clean when he leaves treatment.

“Mike doesn’t want to give up his paid club promotional appearances: he loves the attention that he gets from the ladies and the money is great,” a source tells RadarOnline.com. “Mike leads a very expensive life and he doesn’t want his lifestyle to suffer because of his decision to go to rehab. He is very upset that stint in rehab has become public knowledge, because he doesn’t want it to affect his bottom line. Mike’s brother handles his club appearances and he has been telling club managers that Mike has no plans on giving up the nightlife.”

Yeah, totally. You could die from all this, but that lifestyle is totally worth it! Where would you be in life if you couldn’t get paid large amounts of money to not wear a specific clothing brand or make an ass out of yourself on national television? A liver for an iPhone is absolutely a fair trade.

Why Else is The Situation is in Rehab?

photo of mike the situation sorrentino pictures photos pics
Well I’ll tell you: it’s prescription drugs and alcohol. Not overwork, not exhaustion, not mental health issues or anorexia; pills and booze. You know, pills and booze? The thing that so commonly kills people these days? What a stupid, stupid asshole. Stupid asshole.

Some sources – whether reliable or not, I couldn’t tell you – are saying that The Situation‘s pills of choice included Ambien and Xanax. These two drugs were said to counteract other (presumably illegal) drugs that he was taking along with the booze. Radar Online says:

“He had been taking very, very large amounts of the two drugs to counter-act his hard partying, which included use of illegal substances. It was getting extremely dangerous for Mike because when he would take Ambien and Xanax he would already be under the influence, and he would forget how many pills he took, causing him to take too many sometimes. Mike was blacking out, and suffering from memory loss, which is very common when taking large doses of the two prescription drugs.”

And the Chicago Sun-Times says that The Situation didn’t even go ahead to rehab on his own – it took a whole lot of convincing by those who’d spent extended amounts of time around him (chicks he hooked up with don’t count in this, I’m afraid):

A source close to the Situation’s situation paraphrased the old Hillary Clinton book title, saying “it took a village” of Sorrentino’s friends, fellow “Jersey Shore” castmates and family members to convince the reality show star of the depth of his alcohol addiction problems. “He has been out of control for a long time and has been saying some really bizarre stuff for months,” added the associate. “He thought everyone was out to get him, and he’d say things that made no sense. Really nutso.”

So can we talk about this for a second? Can we? Because the thing is, what’s going to happen to Jersey Shore? Is this (The Sitch’s problem and Snooki’s pregnancy) the way the world ends, not with a bang, but with a whimper? Is MTV going to continue to push their cash cows into yet another season – though they’re probably already contractually bound anyway – where The Situation might be forced into … um, situations where he’s going to be at clubs and around people who take drugs and drink and party like there’s no tomorrow? Because I’d be willing to bet that three episodes in, The Situation would be caving and then what. Then what? Then MTV would be seen as enablers, and I know that they kind of have been, ever since that whole ‘Teen Mom’ thing, but this is on a different level. Will they scrap the show? Somehow I doubt it. Ratings will be sky-high if a rehabbed Situation continues to appear, as well as a pregnant and moody Snooki. Could you imagine how the viewership would grow, even from the new viewers? Morbidly curious new visitors are going to be drawn to this business like flies to honey.