Michelle Obama, First Lady of the United States of America, is alledgedly jealous of actress and Obama appointed board member of the Creative Coaltion League and Artists Committee for Americans for the Arts, Kerry Washington. I totally forgot that Kerry Washington was involved in government programs but that still gives no plausibility to this story. And here is the alledged story: Ms. Washington is lobbying (see what I did there?) to play Michelle Obama in a film, which pisses off Michelle O, because she thinks that Washington is trying to seduce her husband, President Barack Obama. Here’s my favorite quote from a source,

Michelle was furious when she found out Kerry had been in­vited to the inauguration, and ripped into Barack, telling him, ‘Stay away from that woman!’ Her jealous rage put a damper on the inauguration festivities, but at least the meltdown took place behind closed doors.

Oh and this is great, they’re also saying that Michelle Obama got her haircut, complete with bangs, in order to get Barack’s attention. Because of course a woman can’t change her appearance just for herself, it has to be for a man.

In May of 2012, a biography of The Obamas titled, The Amateur: Barack Obama in the White House, claimed that in 2000 Michelle wanted to divorce President Obama. Can we somehow blame Kerry Washington on that, too? Maybe if we try really, really hard.

I feel like someone’s trying to make an updated Jackie Kennedy Vs. Marilyn Monroe feud but it’s not going to happen. Stop trying to make it happen.

The FLOTUS is one amazing lady in several regards, but turns out that her excellent political perspectives also carry over to her personal taste in music, because she’s got some serious jams on her playlist.

From People:

Singers on My Workout Playlist: Willow Smith & Beyoncé
“Whip My Hair” by Willow Smith always gets me moving – and it’s just so inspiring how young and talented she is! I also love anything by Beyoncé – and of course “Move Your Body” gets me going not just because it’s a great song, but because of the amazing video she did to help get kids active in support of [my campaign to fight childhood obesity], Let’s Move!

My first concert: Stevie Wonder
I went with college friends, had front row seats and Stevie invited us on stage to sing “Ebony and Ivory.”

My Grammy Picks: Frank Ocean and Kelly Clarkson
Album of the Year: Channel Orange, Frank Ocean. He’s a young, innovative performer with a soulful sound. [For] Song of the Year: “Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You),” Kelly Clarkson. It’s an empowering song with a positive message.

Gotta love Michelle Obama! Barack has shared his iPod artists before and they’re just as great, so we’re definitely dealing with a hip family here. Sure, it’s a bit of a fluff story, but sometimes it’s nice to see the human side of our leaders.

President Obama celebrated his 50th birthday yesterday! Happy birthday, Mr. President!

And how did Madame Tussauds D.C. celebrate the occasion?

PARTY HATS. PARTY HATS FOR EVERYBODY.

Something about this whole display gives me the screaming heebie-jeebies. The wax figures themselves look like reflections in a funhouse mirror.

Another thing: I am actually vaguely offended by the party hats. No matter your opinion of our Commander-in-Chief, I don’t think his effigy needed to spend his Big Day wearing a paper cone on his head. (Now, Bill Clinton wearing a party hat in the Oval Office? That’s hilarious.)

And finally, can you identify the wax woman standing with President and First Lady Obama? Because I genuinely thought it was Jennifer Hudson, you guys.

Ok, just stick with me, you guys.  iCarly is a good ass show. Seriously, everyone who’s ever seen it enjoys it.  Fans of the show that I know personally include my father, my boyfriend, my roommate’s nephew, and a 400 pound man I met at a party one time who drank a pint of whiskey while we enjoyed Nickelodeon together.  If you haven’t already, just give it a chance, all right?  Thank you.

Anyway, I’ve talked about this show for a hot second before, but now that the First Lady is involved, it’s time to get serious. Here’s the touching story of the origins of Michelle Obama’s episode:

Michelle Obama taped a special appearance for the hit series iCarly on Monday to help raise awareness to Joining Forces, an initiative that supports and honors U.S. military families. Executive producer Dan Schneider reportedly wrote the episode just for Obama and Joining Forces.

In the episode, Carly’s (Miranda Cosgrove) two best friends break some rules to set up a web chat so Carly can speak to her dad, who’s serving overseas. The first lady, who hears about the girls’ efforts, then comes to talk to them about the importance of connecting soldiers with their families.

The episode is set to air in January.

Of course I love Michelle Obama, and obviously I have strong feelings for iCarly, so I imagine that come January, I’ll be pleased as punch on so very many levels.  Will any of you be feeling the same way?

First Lady Michelle Obama asked the queen herself, Beyonce Knowles, to remix one of her greatest hits, “Get Me Bodied” for her Let’s Move! campaign that’s helping to fight childhood obesity. If I didn’t already admire Mrs. Obama, I certainly would now.

Beyonce’s new track, “Move Your Body,” is all about, ya know, moving your body, whether you’re doing The Dougie, the “Single Ladies” dance or just poppin’ and lockin’ your little  heart out.

So far they’ve only released this small sample (and it kinda jumps all over the track, so be warned) but I’m quite excited to hear the full song and I’m hoping that it’s a hit because I will take any excuse to hear those magical hand claps in the background.

Last night the gorgeous Michelle Obama was on Jay Leno’s show for his new 10 questions segment. The first lady was gracious and funny and not only kept up with Leno, but cracked better jokes than he’s made in decades. Michelle talked about a White Sox World Championship win vs. World Peace and how her husband is just as much of a pain in the ass as yours. Check it out above.

Beefy Saint Oprah, friend to absolutely positively everyone in the entire universe as long as they hold her personal belief system, spent a large part of her night hanging with First Lady Michelle Obama last evening at Time’s 100 Most Influential People in the World dinner.  I actually find it surprising that the centerpiece survived and wasn’t consumed in the wake of O’s feeding time.  And yes, I am aware that my yet-to-be-written book now has no chance of being Oprah’s Book of the Month Club pick-I’m at peace with it.

Oprah’s minions were there such as Suze Chiclets Orman and Gayle King.  Also, all the wenches from The View appeared amongst the sea of black dresses as well as Claire Danes, Jimmy Fallon and his wife in yet another sleeveless dress, Kate Hudson and two other names that I’ve just been dying to put next to one another:  Billie Jean King and Ann Coulter.

Cute clip of the First Lady talking to kids about the new First Puppy and his late-night antics.

This is totally my dog. I’ll run out into the living room in the middle of the night because I hear crazy barking and growling and bouncing around, and it’s just Leo, engaging in World War III with his doggie bed. The cats are always sitting patiently on the couch, watching the drama unfold and looking at me like, “Why would you ever let this thing live here?”

Big, potato-bloat Oprah is having Michelle Obama as the cover girl of the April issue of Oprah magazine.  And, predictably, Oprah is in the picture as well.

I thought for sure suck-up O would have her arms wrapped around the first lady like they are the oldest of friends who just came in from an afternoon of carbs and shopping.  Instead, it just looks like she’s praying for the photoshoot to be over so she can get back to the business of being giving out unsolicited advice and being her general holier-than-thou self.

Michelle Obama, photographed by Annie Leibovitz, on the March cover of Vogue.  I’m sure Ann Coulter is having a conniption fit over the Jackie O inspired sleeveless dress.  The First Lady’s dress is by designer Jason Wu, the man responsible for her inaugural ball gown.

Thoughts?

The President and First Lady are at Oprah status right now.  You do not want to piss them off.

Ty Inc., in the age-honored tradition of increasing sales via controversy, has introduced two homely little dolls named Sweet Sasha and Marvelous Malia.  They have dark coloring and share the names of the first daughters, but according to Ty’s PR flack, they aren’t modeled after the Obama girls.  Sigh.

Needless to say, the First Family is not amused.  Press secretary Katie McCormick Lelyveld released a statement:  “We feel it is inappropriate to use young, private citizens for marketing purposes.”

Sweet Sasha and Marvelous Malia join the family of TyGirlz that includes Lucky Lindsay, Happy Hillary, Precious Paris and Bubbly Britney.  And no, that is not an attempt at humor.  These abominations actually exist.