Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Michael Phelps

Michael Phelps is going to rehab

Michael Phelps is a bit of a fuck up, and he knows it. After getting arrested and charged with a DUI, someone’s given him some home truths and now he’s checking himself into rehab to get some help for his issues. Instead of doing this quietly, he decided to announce it on Twitter, as you do. As usual, read from bottom to top: Oh...

Phelpsy Was in a Car Crash!

Phelpsy and I have a cosmic connection. Let me explain: I was in a nasty car crash last week. Then, tonight, I was at this dueling piano bar and there was this totally wasted chick and she was hanging over all these guys, but there was this one she was paying the most attention to, and I realized his face looked exactly like Michael Phelps, but...

Phelpsy Doesn’t Value Our Relationship

Ohhh Phelpsy! Why do you continue to trample upon our love? We have such an amazing thing going on here, me with my undying love and respect for you, and you with your Size 14 penis. It’s the perfect relationship. And yet you seem intent on throwing your wee-wee into anything you meet at a strip club. Take this chick, who’s talking to...