Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Michael Lohan

Lohan’s Dad Not Happy With Lohan’s “Stalkerish” Sister

ashley horn plastic surgery

Lindsay Lohan‘s half-sister, Ashley Horn, got $25,000 worth of plastic surgery to look like a younger Lindsay Lohan (above). I don’t think the surgeries make her look anything like Lohan. After the surgeries, Horn said, “I’m hotter than Lindsay! I have no problem saying that.” Well their dad Michael Lohan thinks there’s a problem.

From The Daily News:

“It’s nuts and sick and stalkerish,” Michael tells Confidenti@l, revealing that he no longer speaks to Horn. “What mother would let her 18-year-old daughter get surgery like that? And she’s hotter than Lindsay? Are you kidding me? Lindsay doesn’t need plastic surgery.”

It feels very weird to agree with Michael Lohan but the dude’s been nailing it lately. Of ex-wife/Lindsay’s mom Dina he said, “She has lived off Lindsay for 19 years. Do what every other divorced mom does and go to work.” Guy is ON it.

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Though He Says Lindsay’s Doing Great In Rehab, Michael Lohan Wants To Take Her Out

lindsay lohan young

Lindsay Lohan is in rehab at The Betty Ford Center where she’s been working on healing and also being an unofficial spokesperson for a singing app, and probably snickering at Amanda Bynes‘ twitter feed. Class act father Michael Lohan is really proud of her and says she is doing “phenomenal” — yet he wants to move her to a different location. From The Daily Mail:

Its just enough is enough and I think she realises it. In everyone’s life there comes an epiphany and I guess it’s come upon her in some way shape or form. It’s time and I think she knows that.

She’s doing phenomenal, I mean awesome.

Okay…then why move her? Mr. Lohan says he wants her to go to Lukens Institute in Palm Springs, and he claims she does, too.

…There’s a lot of healing going on, this is only the beginning of the process and she has 60 more days. She did say at the beginning of the month that she wants to leave and go to Lukens, and as a matter of fact one or two other people want to go as well. So I’m going to go and I’m going to meet with [her lawyer] Shawn Holley this week and hopefully talk to the city attorney and get her transferred.

They [The Betty Ford Center] don’t get any trauma therapy here, they do no one-on-one whatsoever, they’re giving some of the people in here frigging medication, I mean Valium and other narcotic medication. You don’t do that in a rehab. I just don’t get it.

The hell is he talking about? Does he know they took away her adderall? I don’t think anyone is giving your daughter Valium, Mr. Lohan. This f-cking family. Why do I get the feeling that he wants her here because for whatever reason it’s more convenient for him?

Lindsay Lohan’s Parents Are Each Writing Memoirs

lindsay lohan dina lohan 2013

Image via NY Daily News

Lindsay Lohan’s parents have to be competing in some sort of “worst parent ever” contest. Mother Dina is working on a memoir that reveals how awful her husband, Michael Lohan/Lindsay’s father is. And Michael is writing a memoir about how awful Dina is. And Lindsay is stuck in the middle getting Botox.

Though it seemed like Dina told all when she appeared in a, shall we say, unfocused state on Dr. Phil’s show in September of 2012, she apparently has more to tell. She’s accused her ex husband of physical, mental and sexual abuse. Michael is saying that Dina is lying, and he’ll be sure to tell us all about it in his book tentatively titled, I Am Not Daddy Dearest…If I Can Turn It All Around, So Can You!. Brought to you by The Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can’t Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too. Seriously though, that really is the title of the book. I can only assume Dina’s will be titled Life Struggles with Dina “I’m Not A Regular Mom I’m A Cool Mom” Lohan.

This has to be embarrassing for Lindsay, but then again, if Lindsay isn’t going to do any work on paying off her insane debts, somebody’s got to make money somehow. Ha, just kidding, these books aren’t going to sell.

Do you think either book is going to be popular? Is there anything they could say that we don’t know already? And how do you feel about Lindsay stuck in all of this?