Damn, I didn’t know Michael Lohan was an advocate for anything good. Seriously. Boyfriend kicks the crap out of his girlfriends, current and former, tries to break into his crackhead daughter’s apartment on what was probably a drunken bender, but now he’s doing PSAs for drunk driving? What a guy, right? Utter surprises at every turn with this one.
Michael, who was asked to do a video for drinkinganddriving.org (and what a fancy site it is, too), states:
Hi. I’m Michael Lohan. One of the biggest causes of teen death in America today is drinking and driving. So be an example, protect your kids. Don’t drink and drive.
Yes. We want to be examples like Michael Lohan, because it’s apparent that his shining beacon of paternal light and love has been such a great example for his daughter Lindsay and the rest of those other kids, too.
You can check the full video out at TMZ.
I’m just joshin’ with that headline. Of course Lindsay Lohan didn’t have a great Sunday, she probably hasn’t had a great Sunday since 2004. She had a horrible Sunday, arguably the most horrible Sunday one can imagine. What happened to her, you might be wondering. And the answer to that is that Michael Lohan happened to her. Scary, right?
What happened was Lindsay was just hanging out in her home yesterday, being just so sober and responsible when ol’ Crazy Lohan, Sr. tried to break in. Lindsay understandably didn’t want any part of this, but that didn’t stop Michael from trying to get in, trying to get a peek inside, and banging on her windows. Our girl didn’t budge though, and eventually Michael had to go assault some ladies or something and wandered off on his own. No one called the cops.
I can’t decide what’s more terrifying, to have Michael Lohan trying to break into your house or being the spawn of Michael Lohan. Thoughts?
Totally classy, Michael Lohan. I mean, completely.
Lohan, who’s living with, or staying with another chick after the three that beat up, kicked in the crotch, and took nude photos of, was arrested last night for assaulting said lady:
“Mr. Lohan was arrested after we received a call around 9 p.m. regarding a domestic dispute. He was detained after he was spotted walking on the street near our station. He showed no signs of intoxication that I’m aware of and has been cooperative.”
Of course he wasn’t drunk. Michael Lohan’s sober, you guys. Michael Lohan would probably never do something like this under the influence these days. He just operates on straight fucking crazy, and that’s why he’s been cooperative – because he knows he’s totally lost his shit.
Michael Lohan is a disgusting human being, flat out, and any woman who would KNOWINGLY get involved with him after all of his forcible jaunts have appeared in the newspapers and online and, well, fuck, pretty much everywhere, is just as stupid and as crazy and reckless as this demented schmuck is, too.