Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Melissa Etheridge

Melissa Etheridge and girlfriend Linda Wallem got married!

melissa etheridge linda wallem

Melissa Etheridge had been friends with Nurse Jackie creator Linda Wallem for a decade before they started dating in 2010, and they’ve now taken their relationship to the next level by getting married! The ladies had a lovely ceremony at the San Ysidro Ranch in Montecito, California on Saturday night, and plenty of stars were in attendance, including Rosie O’Donnell, Chelsea Handler, Whitney Cummings and Jane Lynch. All four of Melissa’s kids were part of the ceremony, as well. Cute!

From People:

“They were so happy,” says a guest. “It was really beautiful.”

In the course of the intimate outdoor ceremony, Etheridge sang Wallem a new song she wrote especially for her and which Etheridge had never performed before – not even to Wallem.

“It was such a magical moment,” says the guest, who added that Etheridge wore a grey suit, while Wallem was in a white dress.

“The ceremony was such a beautiful start to the night,” says the guest. “The setting was perfect. It was something Melissa and Linda wanted early on. It was as perfect as they envisioned.”

Sunday morning, the newlyweds will leave directly for their honeymoon. Working closely with a personal vacation advisor, Etheridge planned to surprise Wallem at a secret location.

I’m not one for weddings, as you know, but I’m a softy for happy lesbians – what can I say? Congrats to the happy couple!

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How Melissa Etheridge Ruined Christmas

A photo of Melissa Etheridge and Tammy Lynn Michaels

You remember that awful custody battle between Melissa Etheridge and her ex, Tammy Lynn Michaels? Tammy keeps writing bad poetry about it on her blog, and Melissa doesn’t really talk about it all that much? The last we heard, Melissa was giving Tammy $23,000 a month in child support. But now we’re hearing that that’s not nearly enough, and now Tammy can’t afford to buy their kids any Christmas presents. SAD.

Here’s the deal, according to Tammy:

fascinating you know— secrets, they are. People, places, things and accounts, houses, waived rights AND relationships, money —-secrets are sick—a sign of an illness within—disease—playing games with money—phoney baloney—hide and seek—can you find the ball under the clam shell? —christmas is coming—chase the check—chase the check —chase the check—can’t —catch it—oh watch the girl go—empty stockings and tiny boxes—-don’t worry– —i’ll teach them what’s important—nothing close to —what i have to chase in the stupid mail box—but rather—what is in the heart—which could never–never never ever be found in a mail box anyway…………… millionaires in their mansions—-tricking with trusts—-hiding money from Paul behind Peter—–just to steal from the minor in the end—-integrity is a mystery in—-the town of gold dust—-pyrite—fool’s gold —-at times i do feel——as narcissistic as this sounds—that i might be the only —one—with a moral compass —-this side of the Indiana State Line. —tell me it’s not true—-no—-show me—-show me—-someone show me it’s not true…………

If you can’t make sense of that, the deal is that while Melissa is sending Tammy checks, the checks are slow to arrive. Which I guess means that $23,000 is so little to Tammy that she goes through it all in a month, and now that it’s December she doesn’t have any extra to get Christmas presents. That’s what I’m gathering, at least. And that’s so preposterous.

Despite the fact that gifts are obviously not what the holiday season is about (my 12-year-old niece asked me for a laptop, and I sort of laughed in her face, then cried inside a little, and then told her she was getting books instead), I still find it so hard to believe Tammy here. Unless when she talks about the checks being late she means that they’re several months late, then I really don’t want to hear about it. If money is that hard on $23,000 a month, then maybe you need to reevaluate your life. Maybe move somewhere less expensive, maybe review your expenses. I don’t even know, maybe just pray about it. This is the silliest thing in the whole world.

Melissa Etheridge Still Has A Crazy Ex

A photo of Melissa Etheridge and Tammy Lynn Michaels

Ok, so the last time we talked about Melissa Etheridge and her former wife, Tammy Lynn Michaels, was back in 2010, so yeah, it’s been a while. If you weren’t around then or don’t remember, here’s a real quick rundown: Melissa and Tammy broke up, and they had a really, really ugly divorce. Melissa seemed to be pretty collected about everything, but Tammy Lynn wrote a series of bizarre poems on her blog ranting about what an awful person Melissa is. We only covered one of those here, but I read tons more, and a quick peek at her blog shows that she hasn’t slowed down.

Are we all up to date now? Good, let’s check out the details of Tammy’s latest crazy fit, courtesy of TMZ:

Melissa Etheridge’s ex-GF Tammy Lynn Michaels claims she’s barely scraping by on the $23,000 a month Melissa currently pays her in partner and child support — and now, she wants a massive raise … this according to new court docs obtained by TMZ.

Tammy just filed the papers in the couple’s infamously bitter separation claiming Melissa makes roughly $177,882.00 PER MONTH … and got Tammy accustomed to an extravagant lifestyle while they were together … so the $23k is incredibly unfair.

Tammy — a former actress — also claims she has “virtually no savings” and would need “extensive retraining” if she were to rejoin the workforce.

Tammy claims Melissa is also brainwashing the kids — training them to be emotionally distant and rude to Tammy … and now they won’t even give her a hug.

Tammy also accuses Melissa of cursing around the children — including one instance … when she told Tammy to “get the f**k off my back” in front of the kids. According to Tammy, Melissa also refuses to let the kids get vaccinated.

As for the reason behind the mudslinging — Tammy and Melissa are headed into a settlement conference in May to determine support and custody issues … so it’s important for Tammy to demonstrate she’s the better mom.

On top of increased support, Tammy also wants Melissa to pay her $120,000 legal bill. Calls to Melissa were not returned.

Now, of course it’s awful if Melissa is talking negatively about Tammy to their children, and if she’s talking to her like that in front of the kids, then that’s not ok either. I think we can all agree on that, so I don’t want to discuss that part. I want to discuss the money part.

This woman can’t live on $23,000 a month, seriously? I’m sure that the cost of living here in Tennessee is much less than it is wherever Tammy lives (probably L.A.), but I could do so incredibly well on $23,000 a year. I could provide wonderfully for my boyfriend and our four pets, we could afford an adorable, roomy house easily, and there would be absolutely zero financial stress. I’m not trying to make this into a “poor me” issue at all, but listen, Tammy, shut up.

This is one of my least favorite things, when a celebrity gets with a less famous or not famous person, they break up, and then the celebrity has to pay exorbitant amounts of money because their ex got “accustomed to an extravagant lifestyle.” You can get unaccustomed real quick if you have to. No one needs the amount of extravagance that is in most celebrity’s lives, right? You can survive without manicures and tons of designer clothing and unnecessarily huge homes and flashy cars. You don’t need it. Take care of your kids, and if you want all those fancy things, then get you a job and work.

Does anyone actually understand that “extravagant lifestyle” argument, or am I right here?