Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Megan Fox

Megan Fox Is Reuniting With Michael Bay For ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’

She may have compared him to Hitler and called him “a nightmare to work for”, but Michael Bay apparently doesn’t hold grudges because Megan Fox has been cast in his newest project: an upcoming remake of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Bay revealed the news on his official blog yesterday with this exciting message:

“TMNT: we are bringing Megan Fox back into the family!”

I can totally see Megan as April O’Neill (I love that I even know the character’s name by heart), but there’s no confirmation on what her role will be. Wouldn’t that be hilarious if Michael Bay turned around and was like, “She’ll be playing Donatello!”?

I’m not sure what happened to bring these two back together again as the whole transformers fallout seemed pretty acrimonious, but I suppose we’ll have to put it down to… turtle power. No, really – I’m leaving now.

 

Cute Baby Alert! Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green’s Son Noah Is Adorable

Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green are two pretty good looking specimens, so it’s no surprise that their 4-month-old son Noah is one infant-sized package of adorable. “Accidentally” standing in front of a balcony window with baby in full view, BAG showed off the little one during a recent trip to Brazil.

Aw, how adorable. Look at his little pout – the baby’s and BAG’s, that is. I know I bitch a lot about the media’s obsession with motherhood and all that, but no one can deny that babies are squishy, cute and good for a cuddle… so long as you can give them back when you’re done, that is.

Megan Fox Did Another Interview, Generally Left the Weirdness at Home This Time

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So this one’s a better interview, even though it’s not nearly as entertaining as the last time around. It’s more rational, and it doesn’t have all the talk about speaking in tongues and leprechauns and aliens, but it shows a softer side of Megan that, I think, really surprised everyone who maybe thought it just didn’t exist. But then again, it probably surprised some people to hear Megan talking about her belief tongue-speaking and other creatures of science fiction and fantasy, so maybe we all just need to sit back and allow Megan and her gorgeousness change our belief systems one piece at a time, huh?

Anyway, from Marie Claire UK, here’s Megan Fox on being a mother, and what it means to her:

I recognize the blessings when they come – like, I recognise I’m so lucky to work with Judd [in 'This is 40'!'] – but the ultimate satisfaction for me is being with my son. All I wanted to do my whole, whole life was have a baby and, now, I’ve finally done it. … I just want to give Noah as much of myself as I can. And I want to have more kids. This is where my heart is. It’s very hard for me to do this stuff, because I feel like this isn’t my job any more. My job is to be with him.

On being domestic:

I can cook, but I also want everything to look beautiful on the plate – then I get upset when people eat it. Everyone just tears through it and that makes me sad. It’s not a rewarding experience for me to cook.

On driving husband Brian Austin Green crazy with her disorganization:

I don’t make any sense: I’m a germaphobe, but I’m really messy. … I’m not disgusting – like I don’t leave food or dirty dishes out or anything – but I take my clothes off next to the laundry basket without putting them in and that drives him nuts.

More on BAG:

I just think we got lucky [to end up together]. I believe he’s my soulmate. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t take work, because we are very, very different. But we are tolerant of each other and we try to be patient with each other, and I don’t try to turn him into me and he knows not to try to turn me into him.

Last, on crying during the news, which I can personally and totally relate to:

I can’t watch the news any more. Everything makes me cry. Because everyone is someone’s child, every woman seems like someone’s mother. I have so much more patience for people and for women in general.

Quotables: Megan Fox is Sorry for Dissing Lindsay Lohan, But Not Really

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In the newly released article that I did for Esquire, there is a reference that is made to Lindsay Lohan that I would like to clarify before it snowballs into something silly. The journalist and I were discussing why I was removing my Marilyn Monroe tattoo, especially since in his opinion, Marilyn was such a powerful and iconic figure for women. I attempted to draw parallels between Lindsay and Marilyn in order to illustrate my point that while Marilyn may be an icon now, sadly she was not respected and taken seriously while she was still living.

Both women were gifted actresses, whose natural talent was lost amongst the chaos and incessant media scrutiny surrounding their lifestyles and their difficulties adhering to studio schedules etc. I intended for this to be a factual comparison of two women with similar experiences in Hollywood. Unfortunately it turned into me offering up what is really much more of an uneducated opinion. It was most definitely not my intention to criticize or degrade Lindsay. I would never want her to feel bullied, as she does not deserve that.
I was not always speaking eloquently during this interview and this miscommunication is my fault.

Megan Fox, backtracking on the Lindsay Lohan comments that no one even cared about. Except for, you know, the part where she alluded to the idea that Lindsay Lohan might actually be talented after all these years and cocaine.

I know we’re trying for a whole new reputation and what not, Megan, but let’s just do everyone a favor here, OK? Let’s stick to the facts. I’m more apt to believe in leprechauns and aliens and speaking in tongues than I am to believe that Lindsay Lohan is even remotely on par with Marilyn Monroe, or worse, Liz Taylor. Keep it real, girl, and we’ll see what we can do for you down the road.

Megan Fox Slams Lindsay Lohan, Believes in Leprechauns

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Oh my goodness, Megan Fox, what have you done? I can tell you part of what you’ve done … and you’re going to have to just go ahead and surmise the rest for yourself, because wow. Girl.

No, what you did was unexpectedly get pregnant, drop off the radar and didn’t exploit your pregnancy for all it was worth (like you just know some people have done and—ahem—are going to do), disappeared after your little son was born and then, when you finally did emerge, it was like this new person took your place. It was like everything formerly Megan Fox had dropped away, and there was this demure, intelligent, in touch person in Megan Fox’s place, who luckily looked the same as Megan Fox. I almost had a brain crush on Megan Fox for a minute, especially when she said that she wasn’t going to be posing in bikinis anymore—for the sake of her son, of course.

This new spread and interview with Esquire, though? Holy hell. It’s … well, here. This is what it is. Here’s Megan talking about Lindsay Lohan:

“She [Marilyn] was sort of like Lindsay [Lohan]. She was an actress who wasn’t reliable, who almost wasn’t insurable … She had all the potential in the world, and it was squandered. I’m not interested in following in those footsteps.”

On what it’s like to be famous:

“I don’t think people understand. They all think we should shut the f**kk up and stop complaining because you live in a big house or you drive a Bentley. What people don’t realize is that fame, whatever your worst experience in high school, when you were being bullied by those ten kids in high school, fame is that, but on a global scale, where you’re being bullied by millions of people constantly.”

On posing half-naked all the time, and then making the decision to not (after this shoot, of course):

“I felt powerless in that image. I didn’t feel powerful. It ate every other part of my personality, not for me but for how people saw me, because there was nothing else to see or know. That devalued me. Because I wasn’t anything. I was an image. I was a picture. I was a pose.”

On her belief the prior-mentioned leprechauns and other things:

“I like believing. I believe in all of these Irish myths, like leprechauns. Not the pot of gold, not the Lucky Charms leprechauns. But maybe was there something in the traditional sense? I believe that this stuff came from somewhere other than people’s imaginations … Loch Ness monster? There’s something to it. … I [also] believe in aliens.”

On the bible:

“I’ve read the Book of Revelation a million times,” Megan Fox says. “It does not make sense, obviously. It needs to be decoded. What is the dragon? What is the prostitute? What are these things? What is this imagery? What was John seeing? And I was just thinking, What is the Antichrist?”

And, ahem, on speaking tongues in church:

“I have seen magical, crazy things happen. I’ve seen people be healed. Even now, in the church I go to, during Praise and Worship I could feel that I was maybe getting ready to speak in tongues, and I’d have to shut it off because I don’t know what that church would do if I started screaming out in tongues in the back.”

… More on that tongue-speaking:

“It feels like a lot of energy coming through the top of your head — I’m going to sound like such a lunatic — and then your whole body is filled with this electric current. And you just start speaking, but you’re not thinking because you have no idea what you’re saying. Words are coming out of your mouth, and you can’t control it. The idea is that it’s a language that only God understands. It’s the language that’s spoken in heaven. It’s called ‘getting the Holy Ghost.’ “

I … I just can’t even. I’m going to turn this one over to you, guys, because there’s just too much here for me to pick apart. We’d be here all damn night.

Quotables: Leslie Mann Says Megan Fox Has “Better Boobs Than Ever Seen In Life”

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Megan just has great boobs. Better boobs than I’ve ever seen in my life.

Leslie Mann, wife of Judd Apatow, on Megan Fox‘s brilliant boobies, which she fondled for ‘This is 40!’.

And you know what? I’m sorry this had to come so closely after your Christmas high, but see? This is just further confirmation that your life will never be as good as Megan Fox’s, or her baby’s, or Leslie Mann’s, or, most regrettably, David Silver’s Brian Austin Green‘s. Some things really are the fabled Atlantis, guys, and that’s just how it goes.

Also, don’t forget—we’re hosting a giveaway for ‘This is 40!’ and you should probably enter it if you like funny people, Megan Fox’s boobs, humanity in general, and boobs at large. It’s for the good of all, no doubt. Click here to find out how to get your very own ‘This is 40′ prize package and YAY BOOBIES!