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Matt Damon

14Politicians Are Important, But Matt Damon Is Pretty

Here’s Matt Damon’s face, along with the voices of Michelle Obama, Cindy McCain and Mayor Bloomberg, among others, in a new TV campaign that’ll start running nationally next week.


August 21, 2008 at 11:26 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Matt Damon

5There Could Be a Human Being Emerging from Luciana Barroso’s Vagina Right This Instant

Matt Damon’s wife is currently at a Florida hospital preparing to give birth.

Matt has been spotted pacing the halls in scrubs.

The couple currently have a 2-year-old daughter together, and this baby is expected to be a girl, too.

Good luck and congratulations to the happy parents!

Update: The little girl, Gia Zavala, has been born and everyone is doing well! Congrats!

August 20, 2008 at 1:39 pm by Evil Beet

7Still In Love

Matt Damon and Wife Luciana Barroso Pregnant Baby Bump, Pictures, photos

Matt Damon and wife Luciana Barroso hit up up some event for Sony Ericsson in London.

She looks like she might be preggers again.

Dude, I’m so smart. Matt Damon announced this afternoon that Luciana is, in fact, preggo.

March 9, 2008 at 12:40 pm by Evil Beet

9Robert Downey Jr. Has a Cool Murse

Robert Downey Jr and Wife Susan with Matt Damn and Wife Luciana Barroso Have Dinner in Miami, Pictures, Photos

Okay, look, I thought he was sober these days. But you have to be pretty fucking high to wear that thing as a straight man.

Bob Downey and his wife Susan had dinner with Matt Damon and his stupid unfamous wife-who-should-have-been-me, Luciana Boring-oso, at Quattro Gastronomia Italiana Restaurant in Miami.

I would not want to eat at that place. “Quattro Gastronomia” sounds like an intestinal disease, not a restaurant. Here it is used in a sentence: I hope Luciana Boring-oso gets quattro gastronomia and has to be hospitalized for the rest of her life, so Matt Damon can be mine.

December 29, 2007 at 1:46 am by Evil Beet

5Matt Damon Kicks Homer Simpson’s Ass

Bourne Ultimatum is Number One at the Box office


The Bourne Ultimatum knocked The Simpsons movie out of the top box office spot with a vengeance, claiming the biggest August opening of all time ever. The film brought in $70.2M this weekend, far better than either of the previous installments of the series. I guess audiences were just dying for a good action flick this weekend.

“The reviews and audiences rated this one the best one yet,” said the head of distribution for Universal Pictures. “Matt Damon is the new James Bond.”

In third place was Disney’s live-action Underdog, which I had never heard of before reading this film, but then again my interactions with anyone under the age of 25 take place awkwardly, briefly, and usually in supermarkets.

Anne Hathaway’s Becoming Jane only took in $1M, but it was only showing on 100 screens, so that’s an impressive per-screen average. It appears there’s still a market for very, very pale girls at the box office. Take note, Paris Hilton.

*How many people who write this article will open with that same line? Would it be easier to do it by the percentage?

August 5, 2007 at 8:13 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Matt Damon

1Oceans 546 Coming Soon to a Theater Near You


I’m inclined to agree with Cord on this one; these folks stopped caring about the plots of these things sometime in early 2002. At this point they’re just kind of like “We are so goddamn hot we could spend 2 hours reciting nursery rhymes and, as long as we’re alternating between wearing Italian suits and nothing at all, people will see this movie, so let’s make it.” Stills for Oceans 13 below.

oceans13.jpg oceans13_2.jpg oceans13_5.jpg oceans13_3.jpg oceans13_4.jpg

March 27, 2007 at 1:23 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Brad Pitt, Matt Damon
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