Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Mark Zuckerberg

Mark Zuckerberg Got Married Yesterday

photo of mark zuckerberg and girlfriend priscilla chan pictures
And for those of you who have no idea who Mark Zuckerberg is, just go on Facebook. See Facebook? Facebook. Facebook is because of him. You’re welcome, on behalf of Mark, and I send your congratulations, too.

Yesterday Mark married his girlfriend, Priscilla Chan, at a surprise ceremony that friends and family were told was a graduation party for the newly-accredited Chan. The wedding took place in Palo Alto, and included a guest list of just close friends and family. And you know how he announced the big event? Duh. Facebook status update. The food was served family-style and was catered by the couple’s favorite local sushi restaurant.

Congratulations to Mark and Priscilla! Now go spend that billion you got from Facebook’s IPO!

Mark Zuckerberg Should Have Played Mark Zuckerberg in The Social Network

Last night, Jesse Eisenberg (the guy who actually did play Mark Zuckerberg in The Social Network) hosted Saturday Night Live, and as you can see, he was joined during his opening monologue by Andy Samberg, SNL’s Mark, and later, by the man himself.  And I’m sorry, but who made the decision to cast that Jesse kid?  Clearly it was someone who did not see the innate skill and talent in the very inspiration of the film.  I could watch Mark Zuckerberg perform Shakespeare, Sondheim, or even just talk along with old Golden Girls episodes just like my crazy aunt.  That’s how good he is.

ZOMG You Guys I’m So Excited That Aaron Sorkin Is Writing the Facebook Movie

If I had a magical genie and that genie could grant me one wish, I would be all like, “Genie, I want Aaron Sorkin to write the screenplay version of my life.” Aaron Sorkin is a magical genie, and I’m beyond delighted that he’s writing the upcoming film about the start of Facebook, tentatively titled The Social Network. In this interview, Aaron says he’s close to finishing a first draft. A script-review blog reportedly got a look at it in June, and, while they don’t post the actual script, you can read a decent play-by-play here. I’m completely drooling over any news about this movie, mostly because I’m completely obsessed with Aaron Sorkin and all I want to do all day is watch things that he wrote. And then I want to marry him, because we’ll write our own vows and I just can’t wait to hear all the marvelous turns-of-phrase he has for me. Aaron? If the Google alert you undoubtedly have on your name picks this up, my contact information is in the sidebar.