Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Mariah Carey

Mariah Carey: Pregnant, Undergoing Hormone Treatment or Just Flat-Out Flubby?

photo of mariah carey in white bathing suit

Rumors are swirling lately over Mariah Carey’s sudden weight gain and many are claiming that she’s either a) pregnant, or b) taking on fertility treatments in order to get pregnant. I’m just thinking that she’s gotten fat, me.

The National Enquirer states that Carey’s blown up because she and husband, Nicky Cannon, are trying to have a child, but her 41 year-old body isn’t responding well to traditional methods:

MARIAH CAREY has secretly resumed fertility treatments in a desperate bid to become a mom, The ENQUIRER has learned. AND that’s the REAL reason the Grammy-winning diva’s weight has soared!

“She’s packed on a lot of weight, but it’s related to the fertility drugs she’s taking,” a close pal told The ENQUIRER. “In fact, she may already be pregnant.”

The 41-year-old singer was beaming after visiting the Southern California Reproductive Center, a top fertility clinic in Beverly Hills, on Mother’s Day with hubby Nick Cannon, 29. Mariah had unsuccessfully sought in vitro treatment at the clinic last year, the source says.

“She’s going to be able to have a baby.”

Don’t get me wrong; I’m not hating on the girl because she’s gained some weight (’cause she so totally has). She looks pretty damned good for her age, but recent photos of Jennifer Aniston, who’s around the same age, would say otherwise. So, okay. She’d look pretty damned good for her age if she were my cousin Selma. ‘Cause Selma’s 41, too, and looks nothing like Mariah Carey.

More photos of Mariah Carey’s yo-yoing weight in the gallery below.

Mariah Carey Is For Sure A Hero

Mariah Carey

While waiting to go on stage at a concert in Egypt last night, Mariah Carey spotted a fire.  Thinking quickly, as Mariah is no doubt apt to do, she took it upon herself to extinguish the fire.  She even documented this feat on Twitter:

In Egypt getting ready to go on stage and suddenly there was a surge of power and an electrical fire started under my feet! Wtf?!

Naturally,my emergency instincts kicked in and I put out the flames w/a towel. Lol(yet true)

The funny thing about this ish is an ol’skool radio station in the other room started playing “aww freak out!”@that exact moment!

I bet Nick Cannon is so proud of his gravy train.

Nick Cannon is Still Really Excited, Optimistic About Being Married to Mariah Carey

And he just can’t stop singing her praises. According to Mimi’s husband, Nick Cannon, she does everything with a flair for the talented: singing, dressing, designing really fucking awful perfumes and now, cooking.

Cannon, who is to appear on Rachael Ray’s show today, boasts that his wife is not only a dynamic business woman that happens to have seventy-five different octaves to her singing register, she cooked a turkey “the size of New Jersey” for their latest Thanksgiving feast:

“She cooks! People are always so surprised to see she cooks, but she’s a great cook …”

Nick, hon, I wouldn’t be trying too hard. I mean, it’s great and all that you say you love your wife and renew your vows every fucking year, but if you’re worried about the cash cow leaving you behind in the barn, I hardly think you need to. She’s never going to leave you — she probably thinks that she can’t do any better for some inane reason. You’re in for a nice little lavish life, though, at any rate. Y’all can sit around in your sweatpants and eat chocolates until wifey’s fat enough to wheel around the house in a chair and then you can take her for jaunts around your topiary. One day you’ll go and take a phone call and you’ll hear “Nick! NICKY!” and come running … Miss Mimoo will be on her side like a chocolate-stained bloated Elvis looking for help off of the toilet, looking up at you and there’ll be a glimmer — some kind of reminder — of who the lady, the woman, Mariah Carey used to be. Or maybe it’s just hunger. Or gas.

But at any rate, that’ll make it all worthwhile, now, won’t it?

I Didn’t Even Know That Justin Bieber Knew Who Mariah Carey Was

Boy, this little kid’s turning out to be a real pain in the ass. Maybe one day, he’ll actually receive notoriety kind of like that of Johnny Knoxville or something and then his dumb quips might be considered appropriate. At least in certain circles.

Bieber takes his latest pre-pre-pubescent angst out on Her Highness, Mariah Carey, and compares her to a basketball player past his time — old and irrelevant. When interviewed this past week about current pop stars like Justin Timberlake, Rihanna and Beyonce, the ever-present Mimi came up in conversation. Little Bieber had more than a mouthful to say about the pop star’s fame:

“I don’t love her new music, it’s not the same … It’s like Michael Jordan coming back to the NBA. She is past her best.”

Now, I’m not saying that I disagree with the kid … and I normally wouldn’t stick up for someone like Mariah Carey, but then again, I grew up in the eighties and nineties and I know what Mariah’s best actually was.  Subjectively.  See, we ladies of the eighties have to stick together over stuff like this.  Disses coming from a child who looks like he was born in the year 2000 are kind of inappropriate, as was the dig on Michael Jordan.

I blasted Ke$ha earlier in the week for calling out Baby Bieber, but she might just have something. The kid’s a tool-in-training and the only thing I know him for is being an over-exposed child star who thinks he’s got Michael Jackson-type caliber for the future.

Fail, Baby Beebs, fail.

The Oscars – The Dresses (Part II)

Things get a little dicey in this batch.

Vera Farmiga (above) may have had the worst dress of the night. The giant maroon doilies sewn together look like the fabric embodiment of this site’s namesake (an evil beet) ingested someone’s grandmother.

Zoe Saldana wasn’t faring much better. She either crawled inside one of last month’s Mardi Gras floats or got in a fight with an ostrich in a Peeps factory… and lost.

Anna Kedrick’s gown was an utterly gorgeous concoction of flowing, diaphanous pale pink, and Pussyfoot (Amanda Seyfried) was stunning in a roll of quilted Charmin.

Miley Cyrus also managed to look really pretty, but since she had the unenviable task of standing next to Seyfried while presenting, wound up looking a little unkempt by comparison.

Also in this group: Deborah Ann Woll, Demi Moore, Diane Kruger, Kathy Ireland, and Mariah Carey.

2010 People’s Choice Awards: Press Room Photos

Last night were the People’s Choice Awards and Hollywood came out to accept their trophies. Some huge names were on the red carpet for the decidedly dressed-down event, including Mariah Carey, Ashton Kutcher and Taylor Swift. I have old people taste and I live under a rock made up of 90s sitcoms and 10,000 Maniac songs, so I’m never quite sure who these “people” are that are making the “choices”, but this looks about right. This looks like all the people the kids are talking about. Are you satisfied with the winners, and if not, who would you have liked to see win?

Still Going Strong!

Has Mariah Carey finally found true love? It sure seems that way. While her ex Eminem is battling his drug addiction with a little help from Elton John, Mariah and hubby Nick Cannon rang in the new year at the M2 lounge in New York. I gotta admit — they sure look like they’re having a good time together. I’m so happy for her. I hope this lasts.