Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Mariah Carey

Mariah Carey Confirms What Everyone Already Suspected

photo of new parents mariah carey and nick cannon kissing pictures couples

… The Butterfly Diva herself is pregnant!

You know, I’ve given Mariah Carey a lot of flack in the past for appearing to be an off-balance, impulsive, selfish drama queen with a flair for the absurd, but that stuff aside (’cause everyone changes, right?) girlfriend’s probably stoked to high heaven that she’s going to be a mama, and dad Nick Cannon is probably off the wall.

After publicly denying rumors that the couple was pregnant for the past year or so, both Mariah and her husband, Nick Cannon, confirmed on today’s Today show that they are, in fact, expecting a child. According to Mariah herself, there was a miscarriage two years ago and because it’s still early days, she’s remaining tight-lipped about a due date.

Congrats to the couple who used to make me gag over their loveyness. Now that they’re having a child together, it’s all good – and they should continue to spread it onto that little darling like nobody’s business.

Nick Cannon Defends His Waffle Maker Wife

Rumors of Mariah Carey’s pregnancy have been flying around (admittedly, I haven’t done much to help this) and now Mariah’s husband, Nick Cannon, is commenting publicly. While Nick doesn’t come out and say whether his wifey is pregballs or not, he does think she’d be an awesome mom. Well, he at least thinks she’ll be great at the whole, “making breakfast” part of it.

“She’s nurturing with me and makes me breakfast at anytime and that’s my favorite food. It would be like 3 o’clock in the morning and she will still make me waffles. She’ll be the best mom.”

Nothing like hearing a childgroom sing the praises of his wife’s ability to whip him up treats from the griddle at the drop of a hat.

Re: Mariah’s ability to mother a child, I’m sold!

Mariah is Probably Pregnant

Everyone’s been saying that Mariah Carey is doing what J.Lo did re: her pregnancy. You know, waiting until she’s practically got an arm and a leg dangling from her vadge before she confirms anything. Today she finally made a statement about the rumors and while she didn’t say she was pregnant, she definitely didn’t say she wasn’t:

“I appreciate everyone’s well wishes. But I am very superstitious. When the time is right, everyone will know–even Cindi Berger.”

Cindi Berger, of course, is Mariah’s publicist. So she hasn’t even mentioned that extra weight in the shape of a baby that she’s carrying around to her publicist. And she’s superstitious? Mimi’s with child, y’all. She is most definitely with child. If she wasn’t pregnant, she’d just say that she’s not pregnant… but if she’s superstitious and she’s a slightly older woman who’s never been pregnant before and she’s keeping her mouth shut, then homegirl’s having a baby. I’m obviously not her OB/GYN. I’ve never been inside of her bits to know for sure, but I’d put money on there being a little Carey-Cannon in our near future.

Mariah Carey Is Being Sued By Her Vet

A photo of Mariah Carey at the Keepers of the Dream Awards

Insert weave joke, insert humorous use of the word “bitch,” and away we go!

Mariah Carey left her three Jack Russell terriers, ChaCha, JJ, and Dolomite, with a vet for just over a month while she went out to promote Precious.  The vet performed some “extraordinary services” then charged Mariah around $38,000.  Mariah’s only paid $8,000 of that in the six months since the dog-sitting occured, and that just will not do, so the singer is being sued for the remaining amount, plus legal fees.  Neither party is making any comments.

What “extraordinary services” make taking care of three dogs for a month cost $38,000?  Why can Mariah Carey get a fucking diamond Ring Pop but she can’t bother to pay someone to take care of her pets?  Why do I still care, even a little bit, about Mariah Carey?

Too many questions, too few answers.

Mariah Carey Wants You To Be Able To Smell As Tacky As She Does

Mariah Carey 'Lolipop Bling'

Mariah Carey was infamously gifted a gaudy, diamond-studded Ring Pop for her anniversary by husband Nick Cannon, and now Mariah wants to spread that same love to us mere mortals. The image above is an ad for her new fragrance line “Lollipop Bling”.

Unsurprisingly, the scents will be based on Mariah’s favorite sweets: raspberries, chocolate and honey. I don’t know if I’m missing something and maybe it’s OK to walk around smelling like you just escaped Candyland, but I’ll tell you this: It’s definitely bananas to be a grown woman with a serious attachment to lollipops. I’m a kid at heart too, but let’s not go craycray.

Mariah Carey Is Pregnant!

A photo of Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon at the Academy Awards

After a pregnancy was speculated for a good long while, it’s finally been confirmed that Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon are indeed having a child together.  An exclusive was given to RadarOnline saying that the couple “want to keep the pregnancy quiet as long as they can,” but that “they’re both very excited and very happy.”

This is going to be a brilliant adventure, you guys.  If Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon get remarried every year, what are they going to do with a child?  They’ll probably be those crazy parents who throw their kid a birthday party every month –  my aunt and uncle did that with my cousin, and that little girl did not turn out well-adjusted at all. Bitch tried to open my presents at Christmas and on my birthday, but I’m 10 years older than her and I never had no qualms about shoving a toddler.  Kids gotta learn.

Mariah Carey Lends More Credence to the Pregnancy Rumors

photo of mariah carey and husband, nick cannon

Girl pulled out of rehearsals for a movie she was slated to perform in, For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow Is Enuf. While that, in itself, isn’t enough to confirm that Carey’s carrying the spawn of Nick Cannon, recent rumors regarding her weight gain and “fertility treatments” add to the fervor surrounding the idea that there could be a really hot-looking baby strutting its stuff in a few months. Or so.

Carey was said to withdraw from the production late yesterday, and her rep did nothing to quash the rumors that something, ah, “big” is brewing in the chanteuse-turned-actress’s personal life:

“I’m not at liberty to discuss her personal life at this time,” Carey’s spokeswoman Cindi Berger says, declining to give a reason for Carey’s withdrawal.

Pandemonium ensues.