Hey, look, a cute pregnancy bump, and there’s probably no question that it’s Mariah Carey’s. The butterfly kind of gives it away, but I’ll be honest: I’m mildly disappointed that her entire stomach isn’t covered with a massive overabundance of glitter and sequins and all the other Mariah Carey-related ephemera that’s defined her very style over the years. Plus, she Tweeted it, so unless she’s taking creepy pictures of other pregnant women and sharing their photos without their knowledge or permission, then I’m assuming it’s definitely hers.
Also, can someone explain to me the purpose of the band-aids over her bellybutton? I mean, I know that protruding pregnancy bellybuttons are generally ugly as hell, but come on – it’s not as if it doesn’t happen to practically every woman who endures it. Is it that bad that it needs to be taped down and concealed by painted plastic? And is it so weird that I want to see just how crazy girlfriend’s bellybutton looks these days?
It’s Mariah’s birthday today (did you send a card?), and the two children inside of her almost made their way out to celebrate with her! Last night, Mariah started having contractions and made a trip to this hospital, and then tweeted about it, natch:
I love that her kids are showstoppers already. And hey, don’t twins usually come a few weeks early? I’m just saying that if I had all my organs developed and a diamond-encrusted iPod waiting for me, I’d come out early too.
Strong words? Maybe. But check out this video of Mariah on the Home Shopping Network and think about how mediocre her albums have been since Butterfly, then look me in the face and tell me that you don’t feel the same way. I’ll wait.
I just can’t wait until Mariah finally brings those those two little bundles of joy into the world. For one, she’ll stop talking nonsense then, at least for a little while, and for two, you know she’s going to show those babies to the whole entire world. She’s going to Anne Geddes those little children of hers for as long as she can – it’s going to be a great sight to see. That is, if I can ever unsee the image of Mariah with her feet propped up, whining the most annoying whine at the poor HSN crew. Fingers crossed, you guys.
Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey are expecting twins and today the sex of the babies was revealed. Can you guess what type of twins Mariah’s going to be squeezing out of that crazy famous vagina of hers in the near future?
Damn. Two Mariah posts in a single day. Two Mariah posts within just a few hours. This has gotta be a Christmas miracle.
Carey’s husband, Nick Cannon, announced earlier this morning that the couple is, indeed, having twins. Cannon broke the news on his radio show today and confirmed the speculation that had been swirling around Mariah’s womb, as she’s been looking a bit bigger than she normally would if she were carrying, say, just one baby instead of two.
Congrats to the couple and their full-fledged family – if I were an aunt, I’d spoil these babies to high heaven, and why? Because what’s better than one newborn baby? TWO NEWBORN BABIES!