The Material Divorcee is reportedly being paid a whopping $10M to appear in the 2009 Louis Vuitton ads. The ads will be shot by Steven Meisel, who did Madge’s notorious 1992 book, Sex.

So they’re paying her $10M — and they’ll probably spend another $10M paying the airbrushers!

Madge better help move a lot of product!

Here are some of the early photos of Britney on stage with Madonna at her show in LA on Thursday night.

Um … is anyone a little worried by the fact that Britney looks like the grown-up on this stage? Honestly, like, this is what I feel like it would be like if Katy Perry’s minister mom did a guest appearance at one of her shows. Like, “Yes, dear, that’s an interesting outfit you have on there. Sure does look like you’re having fun! Ha ha. Oh, and is that … uh … a skull on your guitar strap? How very … creative, dear. My, this sure is neat, this whole thing where you stand on stage in your underwear on purpose. Don’t you think you might be getting a bit old for this, darling? No? Fine. Are you through embarrassing me now? Okay then. I’ll be off.”

NO WAY!!!

Ryan Seacrest — who tends to be reliable in such matters — is reporting that Britney Spears AND Justin Timberlake will appear on-stage with Madonna at her LA show on Thursday night.

DUDE!!!

It ALMOST makes me want to extend my LA trip and see if I can scalp tickets. But, honestly, I’m pretty damn sick of LA already. I’ve seen everyone I wanted to see, stirred up a fair amount of drama, and I’m ready to get out of this city and back to Seattle, where things feel sane. Plus, Leo misses his kitty siblings, and I miss them, too. So I think I’ll skip this little moment of music history, but I have full confidence that there will be plenty of photos and videos.

If you’re going to the show Thursday night, be sure to sneak in your camera!!!

It’s difficult to write today.  I think the Jennifer Hudson story is such a senseless tragedy.  But the Beet goes on… 

Being in a melancholy and somewhat depressed state of mind, I immediately thought of Madonna’s face.  And her appearance continues to be hellacious.  But hey…she’s been on tour, she’s going through a divorce, lives on a treadmill and she’s fifty.  She’s entitled to look haggard.  I am, however, frequently bemused by Madge’s staged and purpose-driven appearances.  Check out Lourdes wearing a Obama shirt.  When I was 12, I’m pretty sure I didn’t know where I stood on the Reagan/Mondale race but maybe I was just uneducated.  Being raised on rice milk and aduki beans probably would’ve ensured me more political awareness…fuck my mother and that damn food pyramid.  Also, her awkward attempt at maternal affection towards her adopted son David whilst conveniently positioned in camera’s view…I think she’s even smiling to the best of her ability.  I’m not sure if she’s trying to hug him or converse with him but either way little David wonders why his mother is paying attention to him all of a sudden.  I wonder if this photo-op has anything to do with her son’s biological father and his second thoughts?  I feel for Rocco; there was no message for him to billboard for Mommy on this outing to the Kabbalah Center in New York City yesterday.

New reports are saying that Madge and A-Rod were hooking up much earlier than previously believed — in fact, they were getting frisky while Rodriguez’s wife was seven months pregnant!

I’ve told you about A-Rod’s multi million dollar ‘love shack’ in the Mandarin Oriental Hotel’s condos over on Columbus Avenue. A-Rod, according to sources, moved in around the middle of March, right before baseball season began.

There’s no question, according to insiders, that Madonna has been a steady presence at the apartment ever since then. She sort of came with the package. According to sources, Rodriguez rented the apartment without ever speaking of his wife, Cynthia. She would have been around seven months pregnant at the time.

The apartment on Columbus Circle would have kept him just five blocks from Madonna’s home base on Central Park West.

I think it’s just starting to sink in for me that MADONNA IS SINGLE AGAIN!!!

This is going to be SO MUCH FUN.

The Daily Mail reports that the deal is done.  Madonna and Guy Ritchie have reached a settlement regarding the division of their assets.  He will keep the country estate, his pub The Punchbowl, and some cash.  She’ll get their London flat and, I suspect, a gag order on her ex.