Here’s the new photo spread from W magazine that’s apparently a re-enactment of the night Madonna met 22-year-old Brazilian model Jesus Luz, and then fucked his barely-legal brains out. The shoot is called “One Night in Rio.”

Ya know, I’m 26 years old, and even I think I’d feel a little dirty sleeping with a 22-year-old. Madonna is 50, with a teenage daughter. I think I’d just die on the spot if my mother did a photo shoot like this.

Is it wrong that I actually find this shit more unsettling than the Octomom?

To get some perspective, Desperately Seeking Susan was released before this guy was born.

Note that there’s not any actual genitalia involved in this shoot, but it may not be entirely safe for work.

It looks like Madonna is still hanging with male model Jesus Luz; they were together this weekend in New York.

Hey, remember when Madonna was married to Sean Penn and released her True Blue album?  That was 1986; I was a freshman in high school and Luz was a developing fetus.  It’s ironic to think that the year that Papa Don’t Preach was a #1 hit, her boyfriend was forming his internal organs.  Just thought I’d give you a little perspective.

Doesn’t he look like he misses processed food, like, so bad?

Madonna’s fling with model Jesus Luz didn’t last long but he’s trying to capitalize on his brief Golden Snatch foray. 

All the major modeling agencies approached Luz after his two-week tryst with the Golden Snatch.  He went with Ford Models.  To give perspective, a year ago his show fee was $225 and now it is $135,000.  What is it about this that would warrant such a raise in pay?  I’m totally rethinking my Madonna bush embargo.

Above, Madonna wearing the remnants of her first Brazilian wax.

Okay, this has been a really traumatic morning for me.  I woke up to pictures of Linda Hogan in lederhosen.  You, at least, are getting a warning as to what is in store for you.  I was blindsided. 

After I recovered, courtesy of a Screwdriver, I learned that a naked picture of Madonna, circa 1979, is up for auction through Christie’s auction house.  I couldn’t figure out why this is newsworthy.  Didn’t anyone buy the Sex book?  Madonna, naked, $9,950 cheaper than this Christie’s picture is expected to go for.  Then, I clicked THE LINK.  Be warned:  1)  Obviously NSFW and 2) There is a zoom feature which will bring you very disturbing results.

Little Lourdes Leon appears to be following in the footsteps of her mother.  After turning down a part in The Secret Lives of Bees because Madonna didn’t want her in the biz so young, Lourdes has been enrolled in Manhattan’s Professional Children’s School. 

I really am looking forward to seeing if Lourdes has more talent than Madge; I think it’s a safe bet.  But do you know what I look forward to the most?  Her first facial waxing.

Her personal life may not have had a record-setting year, but Madonna’s Sticky & Sweet tour was the highest-grossing North American tour of the year, bringing in $105.3M. Second place went to Celine Dion with $94M, and The Eagles took third with $73.4.

Country music star Kenny Chesney ($72.2 million) and rock band Bon Jovi ($70.4 million) came in fourth and fifth.

The top ten was rounded out by Bruce Springsteen and the E street band ($69.3 million), Neil Diamond ($59.8 million), Rascal Flatts ($55.8 million), The Police ($48.0 million) and Tina Turner ($47.7 million).

Who wants to start taking bets that Britney Spears tops this list for 2009?