OMG, Madonna.

I know you just went through a divorce. Divorce is really hard. And it is reasonable to rebound with a younger man. It is reasonable to rebound with a younger woman. It is not reasonable to rebound with a toddler.

As Wendie reported earlier, it appears Madonna is moving forward with another Malawi adoption, this time a four-year-old girl named Mercy.

A Malawi court has scheduled a hearing for Monday to take up the Material Mama’s petition to add an orphaned girl to the brood.

The hearing was announced a day after officials in the African nation confirmed the 50-year-old entertainer was seeking a second adoption.

Also on Friday, the identity of the 4-year-old girl was confirmed.

“Her name is Mercy James from Mchinji Home of Hope orphanage. She has no father and mother—they both died. We finished the assessment yesterday in readiness for the courts next week,” a spokesman for the Ministry of Gender and Child Development told Reuters. …

The “Causing a Commotion” singer is expected to arrive in Malawi with David sometime over the weekend and will reportedly take the boy to meet his biological father, Yohane Banda, while they’re visiting.

So, I mean, whatever, there are worse things in the world than adopting an orphan from Africa when you obviously have the financial means to care for her. But is anyone else a little worried that Madonna is getting a new child to fill the hole in her heart left when her marriage failed? Oh well. I suppose this little girl is going to have a much better life now regardless of Madonna’s motives, and so we’ll look at it as a blessing and move on. Good luck with this, Madge.

No, that’s not Madonna’s newest conquest she’s cuddled up with.  That’s her adopted son, Malawi native, David Banda.  Now, Madonna is looking to add to her brood.

A representative at the Ministry of Gender and Child Development in Malawi confirms that Madge is heading back to the African country to adopt another child.  Her adoption papers have already been filed and could be ruled on in the courts next week.

Madonna is getting so Mia Farrow-ish in her old age.  It’s really nice to see!

Madonna, wearing her front lawn and grabbing Rihanna's ass, cuz that's how she rolls.

Madonna has reportedly called it quits with Brazillian model and sometimes boyfriend Jesus Luz. Apparently she’d been considereing ending the fling for some time because she was afraid it might affect her chances of adopting another child from Malawi to be a little brother or sister for her son David.

Photos that surfaced of Jesus nailing a lingerie model put the proverbial nail in the wrists and feet.

Do you realize that the English translation of that guy’s name is “Jesus Light”? And that she dated a guy whose name is about as close as you can get phonetically to naming someone “God” without actually naming them “God”? Obsessed much?

I’m starting a betting pool where you can wager on the name of her next lover. Your choices are:

1. Joseph

2. Gud

3. Andchild

“She is a ridiculous old bag, jumping around on stage at her age. I think she has some kind of an age complex, she still thinks she is a young woman, she can’t accept her age. I can’t remember him ever speaking about her or listening to her music. She is famous but she is from a different generation altogether.”

Brilliant words spoken by Catharina Franca about Madonna.  Franca dated Baby Jesus Luz for eighteen months until he could no longer resist the magic that is Madge, aka Madgic.

“Thanks. Another kid already?”

Sean Penn’s response to Madonna, as she congratulated him for his Oscar win, referring to Madge’s new interest, 22 year-old Jesus Luz.

Cripes, I don’t know if this is true, this came from The Sun, but I really hope it is.

What was the problem with the economy again?

An old nude photo of Madonna sold at auction for $37,500, more than three times the expected sale price of $10K.

It was purchased by an unnamed European buyer.

You can view the photo here. Please note: NOT SAFE FOR WORK OR ANYONE, REALLY. LOTS OF PUBES.

Madonna is totally recession-proof.