Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Liv Tyler

Liv Tyler is No Longer Liv Tyler

photo of liv tyler on the cover of tatler magazine

The fuck happened to the girl’s face? It looks like it could be one of the following things: a) She’s gotten some kind of jaw-reduction surgery, which resulted in a really unfortunate case of what I call “weak chin-ness,” b) She hasn’t washed her nose, mouth or jaw since Armageddon was released, or c) Really bad photoshopping ensues once again.

I’m going to have to go with option C here. But option B still sounds pretty palatable, considering that’s exactly what it looks like.

The always-refreshingly-beautiful Liv recently appeared on the cover of UK’s Tatler magazine, and she should be pissed at what the photo editors have done to her lovely, impish face. She also claims that she’s a really poor dater and doesn’t do it that often at all:

After separating from her husband Royston Langdon of the band Spacehog seven years ago, Liv Tyler seems in no hurry to get hitched again.

“I fall in love once in a blue moon,” the 32-year-old actress and model wistfully informs Tatler.

She adds that her friends have tried to persuade her to go out on dates, but she will have none of it. “I wouldn’t be capable of having a casual fling,” she says. “I’m far too sensitive, and I just wouldn’t have any pleasure from it.”

Looks like you also wash your face once in a blue moon, too, lady. What’s your addy? I’ll send you some of this really fabulous soap I made a few months ago. You’ll totally dig it, although I’m totally kidding. About me making soap.

More photos in the gallery of Liv not looking like she dove face-first into a bowl of chocolate ice cream and dust.

Well … Kind of.

Steven Tyler’s Back to Rehab

Steven Tyler

After over 10 years of performance injuries, Steven Tyler feels that he needs to seek professional treatment for his reliance on pain medication. If you’ll remember, just this summer he had an accident that likely triggered his relapse. In a statement to People Magazine, Tyler said:

“With the help of my family and team of medical professionals, I am taking responsibility for the management of my pain and am eager to be back on the stage and in the recording studio with my bandmates Joe Perry, Joey Kramer, Tom Hamilton and Brad Whitford.”

The singer, who has a history of drug abuse, has been isolating himself from his bandmates as of late and that was a sure sign that his recovery had turned in to a relapse. His daughter, actress Liv Tyler said the following about her father receiving treatment, “My family and I are in complete support of my dad’s decision to seek treatment. He is a courageous man. We love him and are so proud that he is getting help to balance his pain management, not just for himself but for his family, friends and fans.”

Tyler is 61 years old and has been at it (performing and using drugs) for decades in different capacities. If he doesn’t come out of this clean, he at least seems to have the support of his family and the ability to keep doing what he loves with a band that’s behind him.

Liv Tyler’s Baby Bump

Liv Tyler's Baby Bump

Just like that Stanford / USC “upset” I predicted this weekend, I’m gonna go ahead and call this one: Liv Tyler is pregnant.

She’s wearing loose clothes and holding things in front of her stomach to try to cover it up, but there’s no denying that bump. If it were me, you could speculate that a bump like that might be filled with beer and tacos. But this is Liv Tyler we’re talking about here, so in spite of what her rep might say, that bump (that is getting progressively larger) is definitely filled with fetus.

The mystery is, who’s the father? She’s been linked to a UFO (Unidentified Father of Offspring) since earlier this year.

Liv Tyler Interferes. It Doesn’t Go Well.

Liv Tyler

Check out these pictures that INFphoto captured!

Liv Tyler was out on the streets of Los Angeles yesterday when she saw an older woman yelling at a crying toddler.  Maybe because she has been in a superhero movie (Incredible Hulk — was he a superhero?) she thought she needed to save the day. 

After approaching the child to make sure she was okay, the screaming woman told Liv to mind her business. 

Tyler returned to her car to call 911.  Can you imagine how that phone call went? 

911:  “911.  What is your emergency?”

Liv:  “Yes, I’m in Los Angeles and I just saw a crying toddler!”

911:  “And?”

Liv:  “Can you send out a cruiser?”

Liv Tyler thinks yelling at a toddler pitching a temper tantrum is worthy of law enforcement involvement?  She wouldn’t survive a day in my house.  Not.  A.  Day.

Anyway, the pictures in the gallery tell the story.  Kind of like those little flip books that look like animation if you go through the pages quick enough.  Crying kid.  Pissed off Grandma.  Bad shorts on Liv.  The end.

Spike TV’s 2008 Scream Awards Aptly Named

 Liv Tyler, Marilyn Manson and others appeared at the Spike TV’s 2008 Scream Awards at the Greek Theater in Los Angeles last night. 

I have fear issues regarding Liv Tyler.  She has the same fleshy lips as this girl who used to threaten my life on a daily basis when I was in junior high.  I’d see her in the hallway and say “hi”; she’d reply “fuck off.”  She hung me on the coat hook in my locker once.  I eventually extended an olive branch and offered her my extra ticket to Belinda Carlisle and she offered to snap my neck.  And that, my friends, is obviously why I’m terrified of Liv Tyler.

 

I Guess Large Bows Are in for Fall

This is what Liv Tyler wore to an event in celebration of Valentino in NYC tonight.

My guess is that someone tipped her off to what Vivica Fox would be wearing and she decided she could take the risk — there’s no way she could be considered the worst-dressed person at that event. Honestly, Vivica. Dress first, then get high.