It’s kind of like that. So naturally, you always envy that which you do not have, or that which you have the opposite of, and for me, it was Liv Tyler’s sweet-but-sexy little voice. I love that girl and her voice.

Here’s a few choice excerpts from her Marie Claire interview, where she talks about parenting, her unconventional childhood, what with being the daughter of Steven Tyler, and what she does for fun.

On going East Coast for her son Milo:
“I’m always trying to figure out what’s best for him [Milo] as a person. The kind of person I want him to be. The values I want him to have. Much as I love my friends and LA, I want him to have more of an East Coast upbringing. The sense of community. Walking to school four blocks away.”

On gradually getting over her divorce:
“I feel like I’m learning every day how to get through life and the world. Not just from the divorce. I felt that way throughout my whole life, ever since I was young person. I’ve had a lot of big things happen to me.”

On her unconventional upbringing and what it’s done for her decision-making skills as a mom:
“Absolutely. It’s brought up a tremendous amount of issues, concerns and worries for me, being a mother, and how much that meant to be based on my childhood and what I went through. Wonderful, beautiful things and difficult things. It was always a dream of mine to be a mother. I didn’t ever really dream of being an actress. I used to dream of being a singer, but I always dreamed of being a mother ever since I was young girl.”

On those pesky rumors that she quit acting, or is slowing phasing it out of her life:
“I’ve never really stopped. Even when I was a kid I’d work for a year straight and then I would take a year off. It always felt natural to live my life again and store things up to put in my next performance.”

On her love of collecting photographs on her phone:
“Obsessively, I have thousands of pictures on my phone. Why am I so fascinated with capturing moments? I’ll tell you why. Because I’ve had so much change in my life. My whole life things have constantly changed, so psychologically I’m sure I’m quite sentimental. I want to remember the feeling, not only what it looks like. When it’s happening, it’s so wonderful but I know it’s gonna change or not gonna last. Everything changes so I want to remember it because I feel grateful for it.”

See? She’s just so grounded and lovable. Even her “leaked photos” were sweet and classy and adorable. Anyone who could ever dislike this girl has either got some serious anger issues, or maybe just knows her better than I do. Who knows. Maybe she’s a super-bitch or something behind closed doors, but guys, if that’s the case, she’s got a hell of a lot of people fooled, myself included.

Love you, Liv!

When she wasn’t giving celebrities facials at Chez Gabriela Studio, Hashemipour was screwing them, uh, metaphorically. She apparently scribbled down the credit card numbers of clients like Penelope Cruz, Anne Hathaway, and Cher, then charged her victims repeatedly for treatments they hadn’t actually received. Chez Gabriela especially had it out for Liv Tyler, bilking Liv’s AmEx between June and November 2009 to the tune of $214,000.

If you ask me, Hashemipour’s scam hardly ends there. Here’s her description of her own work (emphases mine):

With special skin care techniques and hand manipulations, Gabriela Perez developed a personal and particular style that put her on the leading edge of beauty care today, referred to now as a “skin artist.”

Wow! Definitely totally legitimate. Tell me, Ms. Hashemipour, what other treatments and services can I expect from Chez Gabriela?

Well, Jenn, I’m glad you asked. The “Basic” “Gabriela” “Facial” runs between $500 and $1,900, depending on the price I cite during your consultation (and don’t think I haven’t noticed that your pores are lousy). Similarly, the “Double” Facial begins at $800 and ends at $3,000. It’s like the Basic, except that it includes high-tech lasers.

The “Diamond Powder” Treatment begins at $3,000, and it utilizes actual diamond powder, which are particles ordinarily used to polish stone and cement. What could possibly make the crags of your face more radiant than actual diamonds! I’ll tell you: the “Platinum Celebrity” Treatment, beginning at $6,000, which uses still more diamond powder, platinum and gold, plus the high-tech lasers I mentioned before, and also stem cell serums!! Also, ask me about the Anti-Adiposity ultrasound treatment! I sell toner for $450!! My “Paradise Cream” is only $3,200!!! I’ll even add acid peels, collagen, and fat injections to your order!!!!!

Then there’s the “Rebirth and Redemption” Treatment, which uses European gold flakes, essence of frankincense and myrrh, and my patented syringe of Baby Jesus Tears!!!!!!!

I made up the last one.

My point: it’s only criminal to invent procedures and charge celebrities without their knowledge, apparently. Inventing bullshit and charging celebrities with their consent, however? Totally OK.

Man oh man, are these celebrities sure bad at taking private sexy pictures and having them end up on the Internet or what?  Well, you know how it is with these sorts of things – when it rains, it pours – and just after the Blake Lively mess, some raunchy Liv Tyler photos hit the scene, and let me tell you, they are some wild and crazy pictures!

Aww, I’m just joshin’ y’all!  I mean, not about the leaked pictures, because if you’ve got eyeballs, you can clearly see that there are some sexy pictures with this story, I’m just kidding about the raunch.  It turns out that both in the public eye and in private, Liv Tyler is one lovely, classy lady.

Also, one question, based solely on the photos:  Blake Lively or Liv Tyler?

Images courtesy of Starcasm

Between his poetic reviews of the contestant’s performances and his groovy wardrobe, Steven Tyler is arguably one of the best parts of this season’s American Idol. He’s got the Native American/pirate look on lock… but there’s also something very feminine about his style and thanks to his daughter Liv’s most recent interview, we now know why.

Despite the fact that he has more than enough money to stock his own closet, he’s been raiding Liv’s wardrobe for  years. She told People.com, “My dad wears girls’ clothes — it’s so funny. Sometimes I see him and I’m like, ‘Nice shirt!,’ because it’s from my closet.”

I don’t know what’s more disturbing: The fact that the two of them can fit into the same size shirts or that Steven’s full-on pulling a reverse Willow Smith. Regardless, this little tidbit explains a lot.

Now who’s voting for my girl Haley tonight? I don’t care if she gets up there and drops a racial slur and sings a Nickleback song. She’s got my vote no matter what.

The fuck happened to the girl’s face? It looks like it could be one of the following things: a) She’s gotten some kind of jaw-reduction surgery, which resulted in a really unfortunate case of what I call “weak chin-ness,” b) She hasn’t washed her nose, mouth or jaw since Armageddon was released, or c) Really bad photoshopping ensues once again.

I’m going to have to go with option C here. But option B still sounds pretty palatable, considering that’s exactly what it looks like.

The always-refreshingly-beautiful Liv recently appeared on the cover of UK’s Tatler magazine, and she should be pissed at what the photo editors have done to her lovely, impish face. She also claims that she’s a really poor dater and doesn’t do it that often at all:

After separating from her husband Royston Langdon of the band Spacehog seven years ago, Liv Tyler seems in no hurry to get hitched again.

“I fall in love once in a blue moon,” the 32-year-old actress and model wistfully informs Tatler.

She adds that her friends have tried to persuade her to go out on dates, but she will have none of it. “I wouldn’t be capable of having a casual fling,” she says. “I’m far too sensitive, and I just wouldn’t have any pleasure from it.”

Looks like you also wash your face once in a blue moon, too, lady. What’s your addy? I’ll send you some of this really fabulous soap I made a few months ago. You’ll totally dig it, although I’m totally kidding. About me making soap.

More photos in the gallery of Liv not looking like she dove face-first into a bowl of chocolate ice cream and dust.

Well … Kind of.

After over 10 years of performance injuries, Steven Tyler feels that he needs to seek professional treatment for his reliance on pain medication. If you’ll remember, just this summer he had an accident that likely triggered his relapse. In a statement to People Magazine, Tyler said:

“With the help of my family and team of medical professionals, I am taking responsibility for the management of my pain and am eager to be back on the stage and in the recording studio with my bandmates Joe Perry, Joey Kramer, Tom Hamilton and Brad Whitford.”

The singer, who has a history of drug abuse, has been isolating himself from his bandmates as of late and that was a sure sign that his recovery had turned in to a relapse. His daughter, actress Liv Tyler said the following about her father receiving treatment, “My family and I are in complete support of my dad’s decision to seek treatment. He is a courageous man. We love him and are so proud that he is getting help to balance his pain management, not just for himself but for his family, friends and fans.”

Tyler is 61 years old and has been at it (performing and using drugs) for decades in different capacities. If he doesn’t come out of this clean, he at least seems to have the support of his family and the ability to keep doing what he loves with a band that’s behind him.

Just like that Stanford / USC “upset” I predicted this weekend, I’m gonna go ahead and call this one: Liv Tyler is pregnant.

She’s wearing loose clothes and holding things in front of her stomach to try to cover it up, but there’s no denying that bump. If it were me, you could speculate that a bump like that might be filled with beer and tacos. But this is Liv Tyler we’re talking about here, so in spite of what her rep might say, that bump (that is getting progressively larger) is definitely filled with fetus.

The mystery is, who’s the father? She’s been linked to a UFO (Unidentified Father of Offspring) since earlier this year.

Check out these pictures that INFphoto captured!

Liv Tyler was out on the streets of Los Angeles yesterday when she saw an older woman yelling at a crying toddler.  Maybe because she has been in a superhero movie (Incredible Hulk — was he a superhero?) she thought she needed to save the day. 

After approaching the child to make sure she was okay, the screaming woman told Liv to mind her business. 

Tyler returned to her car to call 911.  Can you imagine how that phone call went? 

911:  “911.  What is your emergency?”

Liv:  “Yes, I’m in Los Angeles and I just saw a crying toddler!”

911:  “And?”

Liv:  “Can you send out a cruiser?”

Liv Tyler thinks yelling at a toddler pitching a temper tantrum is worthy of law enforcement involvement?  She wouldn’t survive a day in my house.  Not.  A.  Day.

Anyway, the pictures in the gallery tell the story.  Kind of like those little flip books that look like animation if you go through the pages quick enough.  Crying kid.  Pissed off Grandma.  Bad shorts on Liv.  The end.

 Liv Tyler, Marilyn Manson and others appeared at the Spike TV’s 2008 Scream Awards at the Greek Theater in Los Angeles last night. 

I have fear issues regarding Liv Tyler.  She has the same fleshy lips as this girl who used to threaten my life on a daily basis when I was in junior high.  I’d see her in the hallway and say “hi”; she’d reply “fuck off.”  She hung me on the coat hook in my locker once.  I eventually extended an olive branch and offered her my extra ticket to Belinda Carlisle and she offered to snap my neck.  And that, my friends, is obviously why I’m terrified of Liv Tyler.

 

This is what Liv Tyler wore to an event in celebration of Valentino in NYC tonight.

My guess is that someone tipped her off to what Vivica Fox would be wearing and she decided she could take the risk — there’s no way she could be considered the worst-dressed person at that event. Honestly, Vivica. Dress first, then get high.

After weeks of separation, sources are reporting that Liv Tyler wants to try to work things out with her husband, Royston Langdon. Apparently she broke up with him because she was tired of being the breadwinner and felt like she had too much responsibility in the relationship, but now she misses her boo.

Aw, I’m rooting for these two crazy kids! Hopefully they can work things out.

Liv Tyler is going to be in the new Incredible Hulk movie (with Ed Norton) according to superherohype.com which is in fact the geekiest site URL known to man.

I know we don’t usually get into casting news around here but I think this is good. And I like Liv Tyler. I would have done the animal cracker thing with her in Armageddon and I wouldn’t do that for just anyone because it was completely chees-o-riffic.

And, as I am at work before 6am, I want to run a Liv Tyler photo just to keep me going. It’s the little things, don’t judge me.

Well now you’re just being abusive. Whatever.