Despite having the faces, bodies and voices of 12-year-old boys, apparently One Direction are hot shit and everyone wants to bone them (and we’re not just talking other 12-year-olds here). While Harry Styles is the most open about how much more he loves bedroom activities than music, the other group members aren’t so innocent, either. Zayn Malik was recently caught in a cheating scandal with his girlfriend Perrie Edwards from Little Mix, and Niall Horan is said to have broken up with his longtime girlfriend recently since he’s “not ready for love”. After all, what better time is there in a young lad’s life to sew his wild oats than whilst in the throes of inevitably fleeting fame?
The completely reputable newspaper The Daily Star reports that One Direction’s record label have warned them off the ladies in an effort to get them to focus on making better music – probably so they can get at least one more album to bank before fading into the land of teen nostalgia, where they belong.
The Take Me Home lads were given the dressing down by their Syco label bosses who told them relationship dramas are distracting from their chart success.
A source close to the band said: “One Direction are having No.1s all over the world but all anyone seems to be talking about is their relationships.
“Harry and Zayn were told the focus needs to move away from which girls they’re getting intimate with and be more about the music.”
Here’s the thing with One Direction: I doubt it was ever really “about the music” – fame, girls and money are obviously what motivated these kids to try out for The X Factor, and certainly what motivated the producers to stick them together in a group, sign them to a deal even though they came in third place on the show and promote them mercilessly to pre-teens who will beg their parents to buy them the magazines, lunchboxes and Trapper Keepers or whatever other bullshit merchandise they can churn out.
In any case, apparently the boys have to inform their label if they do want to start a new relationship just in case the girl in question wants to blab to the press once they break up.
They were told to inform management when romances start so non-disclosure agreements can be drawn up. A label source said: “The Zayn scandal wasn’t the kind of attention bosses want for the band. It doesn’t matter if it’s true or not, it still chips away at their squeaky-clean image.”
Sure, sounds legit. Also, sounds like a plan that will totally work… not. If these boys want to sleep around with random girls they meet on the road or whatever, they’re going to do it and no mandate from management or anyone else is going to stop them. Besides, I think Syco is taking things a bit seriously in assuming that anyone is into One Direction for the “music”. Don’t get me wrong – their songs are total earworms that I find myself begrudgingly singing along to when they’re on the radio, but my soul isn’t fed by the lyrics of ‘Little Things’, you know?