Why is Jessica Simpson hitting the bottle so hard lately? [The Superficial]

Charlie Sheen isn’t allowed to see his OTHER kids, now, either. [TMZ]

Here’s the skinny on your American Idol top thirteen (thirteen?). [Socialite Life]

It’s herpes, isn’t it Selena? [The Blemish]

PLEASE do not tell me that this is going to be the new face of men’s hairstyle vogue. [Lainey Gossip]

Puff Daddy arrested? [Caught on Set]

Courtney Love is getting her Twitter comeuppance in the worst way possible. [Huffington Post]

See, even pretty girls are caught mining for nose gold sometimes, too. [The Superficial]

What Hollywood actress thinks another Hollywood actress is a total cunt? (The answer is not ‘all of them,’ like you probably think.) [Cele|Bitchy]

Of course Miranda Kerr lost all of that baby weight already. [Amy Grindhouse]

What A-list actor (OK, RISING A-list actor, or B-list actor for you pessimists) claims he’s slowly gaining weight, and why? [ICYDK]

Brooke Mueller says everyone has to be tested. [Celebrity VIP Lounge]

THIS MADE MY WEEK: Stars dressed up as Disney characters. And just last night I was saying how great Kim Kardashian would be as Jasmine. [The Frisky]

Mel Gibson defends Charlie Sheen. [The Superficial]

Whitney Houston passes her penchant for cocaine along to her daughter. [popbytes]

Did Kate Winslet get mad facial surgery? [Lainey Gossip]

PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE that celebrities do, in fact, get wasted and do really embarrassing things. [The Frisky]

What the hell did Johnny Depp do to make this fan cry? [Socialite Life]

Rumer Willis gets a new, Shirley Temple-like ‘do. [Cele|Bitchy]

Justin Bieber‘s hair sold for HOW MUCH on eBay!? [Amy Grindhouse]

Selena Gomez DID NOT get punched in the face, contrary to popular belief. [Celebrity Dirty Laundry]

Almost Bon Jovi‘s penis, guys, RIGHT HERE. [Swoonworthy]

Eliza Doolittle covers Cee-Lo’s ‘Fuck You’ and KILLS it. [OMG Blog]

Chris Brown pretends like he’s got a penis. I mean, a BIG penis. [The Superficial]

Um, where’s the rest of you, Jonah Hill? [ICYDK]

What ladylike Hollywoood actress curses like a motherfucking sailor? [Pajiba]

Britney‘s being sued over one of her new songs. [Allie is Wired]

Scarlett Johansson rubs her foot up on Sean Penn‘s package a la Weekend at Bernie’s. [Betty Confidential]

Is Jim Carrey … dead? [Celebrity Smack Blog]

What male superstar musician does his laundry at public facilities? [TMZ]

Michael Lohan signs up for a reality show. For real. [Celebrity VIP Lounge]

Behind the scenes of Kim Kardashian‘s new music video (I KNOW – I can’t believe she’s making a video for that hot mess of a song either). [Caught on Set]

Kourtney Kardashian bashes breastfeeding.  [Huffington Post]

You know you want to follow the fuckery that inherently is Charlie Sheen‘s Twitter, right? [Betty Confidential]

The real reason that the Oscar hosting sucked so hard? Anne Hathaway thinks James Franco‘s a total twat. [The Superficial]

Scarlett Johansson rubs up on Sean Penn. Again. [Amy Grindhouse]

Maybe Katie Holmes really IS on some hard drugs. That explains Cruise, anyway. [ICYDK]

Kate Winslet weighed HOW MUCH at fifteen? [The Frisky]

Is Charlie Sheen a polygamist now, too? [The Superficial]

What Samantha Micelli looks like today – you’ll be shocked. [Lainey Gossip]

Christina Aguilera forgot her address in her drunken stupor. [Cele|Bitchy]

John Galliano fired from Dior for being a racist, classist, anti-semite fucktard. [The Blemish]

WHO is replacing Charlie Sheen on Two and a Half Men? [Right Celebrity TV]

You’ll remember this girl as the chick that Justin Bieber made out with in a vehicle when he was a young lass. [Caught on Set]

Serena Williams rushed to the hospital for emergency surgery. [TMZ]