Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Lindsay Lohan

Surprise, Surprise: Lindsay is “Out of Control.” Again.

photo of lindsay lohan is a hot mess pictures
From People:

Less than 24 hours before the well-documented punching incident at an N.Y.C. nightclub that got her arrested, Lohan was “dancing like crazy” past 2 a.m. at The Darby, at one point “causing a scene” when she thought she lost her phone, says an onlooker. “She even demanded that a girl at a nearby table empty her pockets.”

The following night, Lohan appeared drunk, according to reports, before she allegedly punched Tiffany Mitchell at a Manhattan nightclub. She is due in court for the altercation on Jan. 7.

Simply put, Lohan, 26, continues to struggle with alcohol, says a friend. “She will fool people into thinking she’s changed, but at some point in the night, she always snaps and it’s always the same story,” says the pal

Meanwhile, another source close to the actress denies that she has a problem and says that it’s the “near constant criticism” that’s taking a toll on her. “If everything you did was criticized, you’d lash out too,” says the pal. “But she’ll be fine, she’s tough. She’ll probably outlive everyone.”

Famous last words: “She’ll probably outlive everyone.” Isn’t that what people were saying in the months before Amy Winehouse died of what really turned out to be acute alcohol poisoning? Because I think it’d be really awful, actually, if Lindsay went the same route as Amy. Yeah, you know, we don’t know any of these people personally, and in almost all cases, these people with these substance abuse issues bring all of this hell down upon themselves, but jeez. I can’t imagine anyone with a soul not looking at this girl and saying, “I’m praying for you, girl” in one way or another, even if they do chuckle at her cracked-out meth antics from time to time.

Lindsay’s behavior was sad years ago, and it’s still sad today, but I think we’re crossing a line these days, guys, and it’s one of those unfortunate lines that, once you head beyond it, you can’t go back.

Lindsay Just Doesn’t Want to Go to Jail, Please

A photo of Lindsay Lohan

Oh my gosh, Lindsay. I can’t even believe that you went to jail for like a week and a half for that DUI, how screwed up was that? And you got in trouble for stealing that necklace, even though you totally just borrowed it? Bullshit. Total bullshit. And now, just when you’re getting into your prime, people are trying to bring you down for fibbing to police and punching someone in the head. It’s like, get a life, justice system!

But for real, things are getting serious this time. Lindsay’s arraignment is on December 15th, and she’s facing “about 253 days” in jail for violating her probation. And obviously she’s not going to be there that long thanks to overcrowding, but she’d still have to serve 25% of that time, which is 63 days. Right around two months, that could probably do her some good, right?

But Lindsay doesn’t even care, because this is all just so unfair. She’s “absolutely freaked out” about going back to jail, and if she “could sell a body part to keep her out of jail, she would.” Oh, girl, how awful this whole thing is for you!

In other Lindsay news, she’s been screaming that the whole fight thing was a setup. People heard her crying after she got released from the police station and saying “I don’t deserve this! It’s not my fault!” People also heard her saying that she was just trying to find her sister’s purse, because – wait for it – she’d given her $10,000 in cash earlier in the evening to take care of her family. And, you know, when someone gives you thousands of dollars in cash, obviously you just stick it in your purse and go out to the club.

What a mess.

The IRS Has Seized All of Lindsay Lohan’s Bank Accounts

A photo of Lindsay Lohan

From TMZ:

As if she weren’t royally screwed enough … Lindsay Lohan’s tax problems have become so extreme … the IRS has seized ALL of her bank accounts in order to repay her massive outstanding debt.

As we reported, Uncle Sam has filed tax liens against Lindsay for the years 2009 and 2010 — claiming she owes $233,904 in unpaid federal taxes.

Charlie Sheen generously paid Lindsay $100,000 to help alleviate Lindsay’s 2009 tax problem — but we’re told Charlie’s check barely scratched the surface … because Lindsay also owes money for 2011.

The IRS has given Lindsay ample time to pay up — but the Man’s tired of waiting … so we’re told the IRS has seized ALL her bank accounts in order to settle her debt.

Sources close to Lindsay tell TMZ, she’s in full-on panic mode about her financial situation, and is desperately trying to make some cash to get out of the red.

Dang, you guys. Dang. This is getting way too serious. I feel like this whole situation is a whole lot worse than last year’s big jewelry heist, don’t you? Shit’s coming at her from all sides, and even though she brought all this on herself, I can’t help but feel a little sorry for her. Or it’s probably more like pity, actually. Does that sound catty, to say I pity her?

But I really do, because here’s another little bit of Lindsay news: her friends are trying their best to get her to go to rehab, probably because of that whole issue where she drinks two liters of vodka a day and then punches strangers in night clubs. But she won’t have it. Because she doesn’t even have a problem, guys! Why is everyone all worried over nothing? She just did three movies, do you think an alcoholic could do that? And this is seriously supposed to be her defense. See? Pity.

Wait—Now Lindsay Lohan Didn’t Punch Anyone, OK?

photo of lindsay lohan pictures
From TMZ:

Lindsay Lohan is adamant … she did NOT punch that fortune teller at a NYC nightclub this week — but she did call her the g-word … because the fortune teller’s buddies tried to steal Lindsay’s purse.

Lindsay’s telling friends … Tiffany Mitchell approached her inside the club Avenue early Thursday morning to do a reading, but Lindsay turned her down — then noticed Tiffany’s friends crowding around her purse at a nearby table.

When Lindsay returned to her table, the people in Lindsay’s group informed her that Tiffany’s friends had swiped the purse — a super expensive black leather Celine — so Lindsay angrily confronted the fortune teller.

Lindsay has admitted calling Tiffany a “gypsy” but says she did not know the word is considered a slur.

As for hitting Tiffany — Lindsay’s totally denying that … and feels she’s the victim of yet another setup.

Oh, so it wasn’t over a dude, and Lindsay didn’t punch anyone. It’s all coming together now, I get it. It’s definitely just got to be all a set-up, and as for calling this Tiffany girl a “gypsy”? Totally not at all offensive. Lindsay didn’t know that she was referring to an entire group of people in a racist manner when she said it, she just said it because duh, fortune tellers and gypsies are the same thing.

Come on. Who the f-ck am I kidding? I don’t even know what a gypsy really is (I was never a big history buff), how can I expect Lindsay Lohan to know the difference between a fortune-telling gypsy and an actual gypsy that migrated from India to Europe in the 14th century (because that is what that is, right)?

Even Lindsay Lohan’s Assistant Thinks Lindsay Lohan Needs to Go to Rehab

photo of lindsay lohan pictures
Oh man, guys. Shit’s really hitting the fan, is it not? Here’s a screencap from Lindsay‘s assistant’s, Gavin Doyle’s, Twitter:

photo of lindsay assistant twitter pictures gavin doyle pic
And hey, look who probably doesn’t have a job any longer? Yes, Gavin Doyle, Lindsay Lohan’s personal assistant. What I want to know, though, is why is Gavin choosing to address Lindsay and her myriad issues through Twitter? Wouldn’t it be better received—or, you know, received, period—if he’d just gone to the source and talked Lindsay through her problems? Yeah, sure, he’s probably already done that at least a dozen times, but really. Even though it didn’t work the first twelve times doesn’t mean it’s OK to go ahead and blow social media up with it. It’s like this moron decided, hey, yeah, the Lindsay train’s totally derailing before the end of 2012, so I may as well jump into the fray and make it known that I, too, had my name in the news for thirty seconds since everyone else’s is.

And you know what? That’s just sad, guys, seriously. I’m not trying to be a Lindsay sympathizer or anything, because everything that she’s done (especially the whole punching-a-chick-in-the-face thing) has been entirely her own fault, but come on. Her personal assistant? Saying this kind of shit on Twitter? It’s no wonder she chose this Gavin person to assist her—he’s got the same level of class that she does. I get it now.

Lindsay Lohan Is A Racist, And Even More Details of Her Latest Fight!

A photo of Lindsay Lohan

From TMZ:

The victim in the Lindsay Lohan nightclub fight tells TMZ … Lohan hurled a racial slur at her moments before the brawl … calling her a “f**king Gypsy.”

TMZ spoke with Tiffany Mitchell — a well-known psychic who was at the club Avenue with a friend Wednesday night when Lohan walked in.

Tiffany tells us … she had a premonition about Lohan and approached her inside the club to offer her a free reading … but Lohan turned her down saying, “Give me my space.”

As she walked away, Tiffany’s friend says she heard Lohan call her a “f**king Gypsy” … and it set her off.

We’re told the friend went ballistic — unloading a bunch of insults back at Lohan … calling her a “whore” and telling her “Liz & Dick sucked.”

At that point, Lohan lost her cool and socked the psychic in the eye … and all hell broke loose inside the club. Lohan was eventually arrested for assault.

Tiffany’s husband tells TMZ, “We are not Gypsies. That has nothing to do with our religion … it was a racist comment.”

He adds, “Just because your career went down the drain and your new movie sucks, you can’t go around beating people up.”

As for the connection to Max from “The Wanted” — we’re told Tiffany DID have a convo with the heartthrob earlier in the evening … but it was just a friendly conversation and Lindsay had nothing to be jealous about.

All aboard the Crazytown Express! Except not really, because this train is going to wreck, and it’s going to wreck hard.

But wait, we have an additional story about Lindsay: she’s been drinking two liters of vodka a day. Can you even imagine? I’d get sick if I tried to drink two liters of soda in one day, let alone booze. And apparently Lindsay’s friends did try to help her once they realized how bad her drinking had gotten, but – surprise! – Lindsay can get violent when she’s drunk. And so goes this vicious cycle.

We’ll let you know when she gets arrested, so stay tuned. There’s no official word, but it surely can’t be too long now.

Last Lindsay Post of the Day, Promise: The Fight Was All Over a Boy Band-Boy

photo of lindsay lohan red hair and drunk pictures
I could just roll over and die. No joke. Roll over. and die. From TMZ:

Lindsay Lohan punched another woman in the face over Max from the boy band “The Wanted” last night … and we’ve learned Max was turned off by the fact LiLo was sloppy drunk inside the club … this according to sources at the club.

We’re told … Lindsay went to the Justin Bieber concert — but not to see the Biebs — “The Wanted” was the opening act … and Lindsay has been scoping Max out for the last few days.

Sources say Lindsay tried to get backstage after the concert to see him — but she was blocked. Fast forward to later that evening when Lindsay met up with Max, Jay and Tom at a hotel bar.

The four of them — along with one of LiLo’s friends — then went to the club Avenue together.

As the evening wore on, we’re told Lindsay got drunker and drunker … and it turned Max off. He then started talking to another woman, which enraged Lindsay. That woman is the one Lindsay is accused of battering. (FYI — Max was also really drunk).

Ironically, Max washed his hands of both of them — found another girl in the club — and went home with her instead … while Lindsay ended up in jail.

Oh my gosh, yes, because guys who aren’t totally trashy like her Royal Highness Lindsay, tell me: isn’t it just the hottest when a girl you’re not even interested in punches another girl you’re not even interested in, in the face? Doesn’t that just totally ring your bell?

Here’s a photo of this Max person, a person with whom I’m not at all familiar, because I don’t do bands like The Wanted mostly:

photo of max the wanted pictures