“I would never steal, in case people are wondering. I was not raised to lie, cheat, or steal … [also] what i wear to court shouldnt be front page news. it’s just absurd.”

Ah, some gems of wisdom direct from our girl Lindsay Lohan’s Facebook. She is, at the very, very, minimalistic least, half-right and I totally believe that yes, what she wears to court should not be front-page news. However, that other stuff about her being raised not to lie, cheat, or steal or snort coke off of the cracks of the nastiest bitches in LA ? Not quite sure I’m all about believing that kind of stuff these days.

Yesterday, as you all know, Lindsay Lohan was arraigned in court on a felony charge of grand theft, and predictably, she was released on bail of 20k. Linds plead ‘not guilty,’ but despite her assertions that she was totally innocent, the judge still warned her not to ‘push her luck.’

Lindsay, who was charged with the felony, still claims that she didn’t steal the $2500 necklace from the Venice jeweler, but that the store ‘lent’ it to her. The store, however, is sticking fast to their original police report that Lindsay intentionally walked off with it and now want a no-contact order against Lindsay, as she’s apparently been sending them flowers as a peace offering LOL – shitty, wilted flowers in exchange for silence over an allegedly-stolen $2500 necklace – that’s the height of class right there, you guys.

All I know is that telling Lindsay Lohan not to push her luck is like jamming coke up her right nostril and telling her not to inhale.  But hey – one can hope, right?

Lindsay Lohan is responding to allegations that she stole a necklace from a Venice Beach jewelry shop by saying that it was just a simple misunderstanding.

The shop owner contacted police after seeing Lindsay out and about wearing the necklace that had been stolen from her shop earlier that week. The one of a kind piece was apparently one of many that Lindsay tried on while in the shop and is valued at &2,500.

But Lindsay’s lawyer is saying that her client was under the impression the necklace was a loaner, a standard exchange between celebrities and shop owners.

From People.com:

The actress is accused of having walked away with a “one of a kind” necklace from a Venice, Calif., jewelry store on Jan. 22. But before police executed a search warrant on her home, the necklace was surrendered to a local LAPD station.

“Lindsay doesn’t understand how the store can file a police report when they let her borrow the necklace,” said a source close to the actress. “She’s used to getting gifted items that are worth way more than that. And why would she steal a necklace? She has tons of jewelry and doesn’t need anymore.”

Lohan remains on probation and under random drug testing in her ongoing DUI case and faces a Feb. 25 progress review hearing.

The judge who sent Lindsay to rehab said that if she messed up again, she was going to go back to jail. This time for six months. That’s why I want to believe that Lindsay didn’t steal the necklace and the store’s owner is just looking to get a little publicity for her no name jewelry shop.

On the other hand, Lindsay’s known for acting out, and with drugs and alcohol no longer being an option, I can totally see her sticky fingers making a comeback. Sigh.

Do you think Lindsay is guilty of stealing the necklace?

Remember back in November when Lindsay Lohan was allowed to leave rehab to go do some photo shoot in Palm Springs for a few days? The photos taken at that shoot have officially been released (to promote photographer Adam Secore’s upcoming art show where they will be featured) and baby girl is lookin’ beautiful. If she’s more of a model than an actress these days, then so be it. She can play that role, too.

Here’s the thing with Lindsay: She’s like my favorite ex-boyfriend. I can’t help but laugh and shake my head with embarrassment when she stumbles, but deep down I’ll always have mad love for this girl and want good things for her. Call me sentimental, but it’s nice to see that she seems to be doing well.

And by “true beauty,” of course I mean “startling and horrifying lip injections.”

Can you guys please give me some insight?  I’m at a loss with our favorite 24-year-old crackhead over here.  I mean, I get the alcoholism and the unhealthy relationship with her family and the reTweeting Tom Cruise.  I certainly don’t condone it, but I can see where she’s coming from.  What is completely beyond me, however, is how someone can check out those lips in a mirror and think “oh yeah, this is the look I’ve been dreaming of.”  You guys can check out the gallery and get back to me, ok?

Photos via Yeeeah

Is it because of crack or because of her vagina?  Get it, because women can’t drive?  We are inferior in certain ways. Ha.

But really, I’m thinking it’s the crack.  I’m not even suggesting that she’s back to her wacky crackhead ways, I’m just saying that spending so many years gobbling up meth, chasing it with vodka, and making out with Paris Hilton might throw off your depth perception a bit.  And that’s not Lindsay’s fault.  Clearly someone needs to give this poor girl a bigger garage, am I right?

Oh, newly sober Lindsay, how I wanted to believe in you.  How I longed for a Parent Trap sequel. Alas, alas.