[Lindsay] came clean and told the truth that she lied. I hate cocaine. I don’t do cocaine. We were having an argument, it escalated, and she, in her weakest moment called someone. She called [her father] and he recorded the conversation. She just wanted to hurt me at that moment. You know, mothers [and] daughters, we fight. I’m so proud of her for telling the truth because it destroyed me. I mean, I cried for weeks. It just hurt me so bad and she knew how horrible that was, and she came clean and told the truth that she lied. I’m very proud of her for that, which is very difficult to have to do.
—Dina Lohan on Lindsay’s persistent lying about things that could impact people’s lives in a very negative way, including her own. That’s just lovely. You know, I don’t even know where to start with this family. It’s like they were all hit upside the head with the Magic Stick of F-cking Moron, and no, that’s not a clever nickname for Draco Malfoy’s penis*.
Also, I didn’t even realize that Lindsay Lohan *had* come out and pretty much recanted her entire story. In fact, weren’t there bits of it earlier last month that were confirmed to be totally true? Like the part about them fighting about money? Isn’t this what this family does best—air real, live dirty laundry for all the world to hear? And the part about “I hate cocaine”? Well. The only thing I have to say about that is this:
*Oh, and about that random, obscene ‘Harry Potter‘ reference—I decided the other day that it was high time to reread the ‘HP’ series for the twenty-sixth time in my life (no exaggeration), so I’ve got a bit of wizardry on my mind, OK? Cut a girl a break.
November 15, 2012 at 11:30 am by Sarah
“Producing a movie with Lindsay is not for the faint of heart. I turned 50 shades of white actually during the production. We had serious challenges to deal with due to her probation and her history. Therefore we had to make a deal where there were pages and pages of ‘what if’ clauses. There never was a ‘what if she can act’ clause. It was about, ‘What if there is a car accident? What if there is a violation of her probation [and she's] incarcerated?’ Those ‘what ifs’ were plenty. She might be the most insured actress who ever walked on a soundstage. We tried to insure ourselves against things that could and, in fact, did happen. I was financially at risk myself. It was a challenge.”
He also went on to make sure everybody knew that “the pain was worth the pleasure,” and that the people who didn’t believe in Lindsay are “gonna be shocked.” Oh, and he’s “guardedly optimistic” that people are going to like the movie, which makes me laugh. Bless his heart.
I mean, the movie’s going to do really well. Tons of people are going to watch it, and tons of people will watch the reruns, and when it’s released on DVD, tons of people will buy it. That’s all poor Larry needs to know. Sure, most people will be mocking it, or just tuning in to see how big a mess she is. But the numbers are going to be great. And that’s what matters. Probably.
November 15, 2012 at 9:30 am by Emily
This new interview is just classic Lindsay. Like, if we had an Evil Beet puppet show and I got to play Lindsay (I would give Sarah Britney Spears and Paris Hilton for Lindsay, but we’d probably have to arm wrestle for Courtney Stodden), I would say all of the things Lindsay says in this interview. It’s so “not my fault!” it’s insane. It’s wonderful.
So let’s just jump on in, all right?
On Liz Taylor and love: “I can only imagine what it would be like to have the kind of love that she and Richard Burton had. It’s such a wonderful thing. It’s so heartbreaking. Love is scary and I’m yet to find that one person. I relate to the fact that Elizabeth Taylor once said, ‘I love being in love.’ I do, too. I love being in love. There’s nothing better than that first feeling of being in love, so I look forward to having that at some point. Yes, I’ve been in love with people – maybe one or two – but I haven’t really had a true love yet.”
But Lindsay, you have had a true love. His name was meth. You loved him dearly, but he didn’t call you back. True love doesn’t always last, it’s ok.
More on Elizabeth Taylor: “I fought to get the role in Liz and Dick because I related to her so much because of her position in the public eye and the media obsession with her, and the ups and downs in her relationships and life. And that’s aside from her love for diamonds! We’re both strong-willed and Elizabeth and her mother had a similar bond to the one I have with my mother. I learned from Liz that it’s OK to be in love and have heartache. She and Burton loved each other so much it was scary.”
Yeah, we know, Linds. You’re so much like Elizabeth Taylor, it’s scary. We’ve been over this. The similarities are so strong. Also, LOL, DIAMONDS, LOL.
On getting respect: “I love acting and that’s what I started out doing and it’s unfortunate that people began to know me as a celebrity rather than an actress. I can only hope to gain respect back through my work. I care what people think but I am who I am and it’s unfortunate that some of the things that are meant to be kept private have been exposed and if I had the choice I wouldn’t have had it that way. I’ve drawn from experiences and from things I’ve seen and grown up with and I don’t want to go back.”
Blah blah, mistakes, blah blah, serious actress. Blah.
On how nothing is her fault ever: “When you’re filming, you’re part of a family and then when it stops you’re left alone with nothing and it gets lonely and depressing and sad. I was being hounded a lot and didn’t know what to do and didn’t want to listen to anyone. At the age when I would have been in college I was in Los Angeles living by myself and I didn’t have the best people with the best intentions around me. It’s hard for me to say ‘no’ to someone I love and I really don’t like to notice the bad in people and I’ve had to work on that because not everyone has your best interests at heart. When you reach a certain point of fame, people are willing to do whatever you ask them to do and are afraid to say no. That has a lot to do with living in excess and if you don’t have the right people around you then you’re never going to learn when to stop.”
Hey, Lindsay, can we discuss the concept of taking responsibility for your own actions? I think we should discuss it. I think it might really help you open yourself up to the world of reality.
On filming: “I said to everyone I was working with, ‘Just keep me on set’ because that’s where I’m happiest and I lost that feeling for a while. Now I have it back I don’t want to give it up. I just want to keep making films. That’s my focus. I know that I’m a really good actress and I know I’ve had my faults. But knowing that and knowing that I love what I do has kept me going.”
That last one actually makes me kind of sad. It’s sad, isn’t it? I don’t think it’s hard to believe that she doesn’t find happiness in many things, and if she’s happy on set, then that’s good for her. But the part about being a “really good actress”? Oh, honey. No.
November 14, 2012 at 12:30 pm by Emily
All I’ve got to say is “a sensuous woman torn between two loves.” Because of course I’m going to follow that with “What, cocaine and vodka? Or meth and NyQuil?” Because after watching this trailer for Lindsay Lohan’s latest movie, ‘The Canyons’, I’m convinced that it’s got to be one or more of those four things previously mentioned, if not all four of them at the same time.
Seriously, THIS is what Lindsay‘s career has been reduced to? Is this serious? Moreover, is she actually serious about this as in she thinks it’s some big piece of art? Yes, guys. Yes on all counts.
November 13, 2012 at 5:30 pm by Sarah
Remember when I told you guys that Lindsay cancelled that interview with Barbara Walters? It was supposed to be this big promotional thing for that Liz & Dick catastrophe, and it was going to go along with footage that Barbara had already filmed over the summer. The thing was that Barbara was definitely going to ask her about all her meth adventures, so Lindsay and her people flaked out because she didn’t feel up for it. Right?
But now we’re learning that Lindsay does feel up to an interview, just not one with Barbara Walters. She’s going to do an interview with Jay Leno instead. Obviously Jay Leno isn’t going to ask Lindsay the same kind of questions Barbara Walters would have asked, but Barbara still said she was “disappointed” in Lindsay’s choice. See, her feelings got hurt because Lindsay’s reps just fibbed to her about Lindsay not being up for an interview. She’s hurt that she got left high and dry while Jay Leno gets the goods.
Oh, and she also showed this clip from the interview she did with Lindsay this summer on The View yesterday:
Note how this little clip is just half a minute long and still contains so much wonder. Her stuttered remark of “I’m a survivor,” her awkward joking, her inability to answer the questions she’s asked. And her voice, oh my goodness, her voice. Don’t do drugs, kids. You could end up sounding like Lindsay Lohan. Yikes.
November 13, 2012 at 11:30 am by Emily
I’m not going to get mad at you for not remembering this, because there’s been a lot of stuff going on in Lindsay Lohan‘s life lately, and you can’t feel guilty for not remembering every meth promise she’s ever made. But she was supposed to do an interview with Barbara Walters. It was part of the whole Liz & Dick deal: Barbara came to the set, Lindsay showed her around and talked to her about some things. That already happened, that’s already been filmed. But the big thing was that Lindsay was scheduled to do a new interview to go with that. It was going to be intimate and telling, and she wasn’t going to hold back. It was even going to air on prime-time! But alas, no more.
Lindsay just decided not to do it. That’s all. It was going to air on the 16th, so I guess they’d film it sometime real soon, but nah, she’s just going to not. Well, apparently she and her new PR team – which she has now, by the way – decided that they were “dissatisfied with the direction ABC wanted to take the interview.”
Obviously, that’s ridiculous. Lindsay’s new PR team wants to smooth everything over and focus on her big comeback (ha) and how great she’s doing and how her family totally isn’t crazy and how she’s probably going to get an Oscar, like, any day now. But how silly would it be to see a big interview with Lindsay that didn’t mention her recent issues? There would be a pretty large elephant in that room, and its name would be Dysfunction.
Are you as bummed about this loss as I am? Because I’m pretty bummed. To cheer myself up, I’m going to think about all the ways in which Lindsay’s new reps regret every choice they’ve ever made. You can steal that if you want.