So remember how we were talking about Tom Cruise and his weird Scientology wife-auditioning thing that he did a few years back when Katie Holmes won her round-trip ticket to Crazyville? Well Lindsay Lohan‘s throwing her hat into the ring on this one, and making statements in Tom‘s defense (sort of). From Lindsay’s Twitter, in response to that Vanity Fair article:
I just want everyone & @TomCruise to know, that I have/had NO part in the VF story.. Nor has anyone in my life, personal and work related.
ROFLCOPTER! OMG! … And wait. “Nor has anyone in my life, personal and work related”? In what world is that good grammar? Forget it.
You know, what Lindsay’s doing here, guys, is trying to make herself appear more relevant than she actually is (surprise, surprise). Because while there were rumors that Lindsay was on Tom’s shortlist a few years ago for bridal material, Scientology sources came out and nixed that, revealing the “official” list, which included Scarlett Johansson, Erica Christensen, Sofia Milos, Jennifer Garner, and Jessica Alba. Please note that the name “Lindsay Lohan” was nowhere on that list, because come on. Even Tom Cruise has f-cking standards, as batshit crazy as he is.
And speaking of standards, Tom wanted the lovely Nazanin Boniadi to get rid of her braces and highlights, so can you just imagine the veritable laundry list that Lindsay Lohan would have to take care of in order to even be considered for general candidacy? Meth, fleas, lesions, and crack teeth, just to name a few, but doubtless there’s a zillion other things the higher-ups in the Church of Scientology could probably whip out and slap Lindsay in the face with like a flaccid penis, desperate for one last hurrah.
All I know is that you’re definitely in a bad way (AHEM TOM CRUISE) when Lindsay Lohan starts throwing your name around the Twitterverse. Sheesh.
September 6, 2012 at 11:30 am by Sarah
“At least i know that i have done the work for an angel in heaven .. I know that she will see it from up above.. bless her.”
And for those of us who are crazy impatient for this work of art to finally air, we have a release date at last: November 3rd. For some reason, I thought I had read that they were aiming to get it aired in late August, but I guess that was just wishful thinking on my part, or else it was the plan, but then they realized that they needed a couple of extra months to edit Lindsay’s methtastic performance into something watchable. I’m going to go ahead and say that it was a little of both.
But mark your calendars, friends, because in just under two months, we’ll be in for the treat of a Lifetime. GET IT?!
September 4, 2012 at 10:30 am by Emily
Sure, Lindsay was a nightmare to work with on Liz & Dick. She didn’t memorize her lines, she crashed cars on her way to work, she almost died or just didn’t want to work that one time, I could never figure out which, and, of course, just this morning we learned that she completely trashed Liz’s own dressing room. But it was all worth it, because Lindsay’s resemblance to Liz is downright eerie. Right?
LOL, no. Look at this one:
But I will say this: Lindsay as 1980s Elizabeth Taylor is flawless. And sure, Liz was in her 50s in the 1980s, but let’s not take this away from her:
Let’s just bless her heart, ok guys? Because bless her heart.
August 31, 2012 at 9:30 am by Emily
What? Come on. Of course she didn’t. Lindsay doesn’t do these kinds of things, guys.
From CNN (yes, CNN):
Elizabeth Taylor’s Cleopatra “love nest,” where her romance with Richard Burton started, was trashed while it was on loan for filming of Lindsay Lohan’s “Liz & Dick,” the owner of the dressing room trailer said.
Fox Studios spent more than $75,000 in 1963, about a half million in today’s dollars, to create an environment fit for the queen Taylor was playing. She rested away from the set between roman columns with walls and ceilings handpainted in the style of Cleopatra’s era.
Angel Alger, a Taylor fan, bought the pink, lavishly-decorated 38-foot travel trailer for $50,000, her life savings, in June. But she only had two days to enjoy it before it was delivered to Silver Screen Pictures. It was a condition of the sale since the seller had contracted to rent it to the producers for a week of filming.
“I was specifically told that it would come back in pristine condition and in even better condition than it was at that time,” Alger said.
When she saw it again in July, she was devastated to see damage she estimated to be at least $100,000.
Photos show cigarette burns on fabric, furniture and even a portrait of Taylor. Dishes, mirror and glass were broken.
What’s worse is what’s missing, Alger said.
An exquisite antique European rocking chair that Taylor sat in after filming every night was taken.
“I did not get to enjoy using the lavish French phone that she used or even her personal hair brush that probably still had some of her hair in it,” she said.
“Only a psychotic and rebellious person or people would steal irreplaceable museum belongings and leave it in this vandalized condition,” Alger said. Alger said she suspects it was Lindsay Lohan, based on a studio employee’s comment to her that the actress and her friends had access to it each night after filming.
But she acknowledges she has no evidence to prove it. She collected the cigarette butts left in the trailer, which she said appeared to be special cigarettes.
But Lohan’s publicist said there was no way Lohan, who he said worshiped Taylor, would ever destroy anything connected to her.
“This has nothing to do with Lindsay,” Steve Honig said. “You should ask the producers about it.”
Oh, hell no. No way. There’s absolutely no possible way that Lindsay Lohan, cigarette-smoking, alcohol-swilling Lindsay Lohan, would ever, ever, ever trash a dressing room, and especially a dressing room of someone she admired.
Lindsay Lohan is not written all over this crime, no way, no how.
Also, what the hell is a “special cigarette”? Is that CNN-speak for joints? Roaches? Is that what that is? Because come on. I think we’ve evolved enough as a society not to engage in the absurd decorum that dictates we call “funny cigarettes” or “special cigarettes” by anything else other then “SMOKIN’ THEM DRUGS,” alright?
August 31, 2012 at 4:30 am by Sarah
Lindsay Lohan stiffed the famous Chateau Marmont hotel to the tune of $46,350.04, and she is now persona non grata.
TMZ has obtained a letter from the General Manager of the hotel where John Belushi infamously OD’d and died … The GM notes the hotel repeatedly requested payment for the 47 days Lindsay stayed there during the months of June and July … but LiLo never anted up.
Lindsay — who had been living at the hotel — was ordered to get her stuff out by 12 PM August 1. She was then banned from the entire property.
Now get this … We also got the itemized bill for June and July, and it’s clear — Lindsay spends like a drunken sailor.
– Minibar charges for the 47 days: $3,145.07. The highest daily tab … July 1st — $502.43!!!
– Cigarettes: $686. She blew through 49 packs in 47 days at $14 a pop
– Chateau Candle: $100
– Chateau restaurant: On July 4 Lindsay racked up a $1,992.07 bill. On top of that, she spent $685.96 that day on room service
Do you think we could yet say it’s official that Lindsay Lohan‘s back on her familiar downward spiral to three or four days in jail? Because I do. This is how it seems to start every time—Lindsay f-cks up, wants to be taken seriously, straightens up for a few weeks or months, and gets some “respectable” film or television show parts. After the smoke clears, and she’s got a few days of time on her hands, she’s back to the same old crack shenanigans of theft, drugs, and general work-related unreliability. I mean, honestly. What’s next, a coke-binge with Paris Hilton? Domestic disputes with Samantha Ronson? Dare I say it, those two ladies are just too good for our Lindsay these days, so no. I doubt it, actually.
August 29, 2012 at 9:30 am by Sarah
Ok, listen. Lindsay Lohan stole $100,000 worth of jewelry at that house party. She definitely did that. That absolutely happened. And the guy who owned the jewelry (which, just so you’re up to date, was mostly watches and some sunglasses) called the police, the police questioned Lindsay, they investigated, she officially became a suspect, and now the charges have been dropped. Because nothing was stolen. Because – wait for it – according to the owner of the jewelry, when it comes to Lindsay, “what’s mine is yours.”
So essentially, she stole a bunch of stuff, but it’s all good:
Lindsay Lohan will not be prosecuted by the L.A. County District Attorney for stealing more than $100,000 worth of watches and sunglasses from a Hollywood Hills home — TMZ has learned the D.A. just rejected the case.
According to the D.A.’s charge evaluation worksheet, there is insufficient evidence to bring a burglary charge against the actress.
According to the D.A., Lindsay and Sam Magid — the rich guy who owns the house that was allegedly burglarized — have had a “longstanding relationship.”
The D.A. claims Sam did not identify Lindsay as a suspect and the “potential eyewitnesses have refused to become involved.”
Additionally, none of the suspects were found in possession of the stolen property.
Lindsay’s assistant Gavin Doyle will also not face prosecution.
Oh, but now it looks like Lindsay just stole a few thousand dollars and a bunch of keys:
A rep for the D.A.’s office tells TMZ … “The District Attorney’s Office received no evidence that any jewelry, including watches, was taken.”
“The evidence presented to us … was valued at $6,400 and included $3,000 in cash, four pairs of sunglasses, an iPod and keys to two cars and a house.”
It’s now clear … the initial theft complaint, which included $100,000 worth of watches and sunglasses, never made its way to the D.A.’s office.
Yeah, this all sounds totally legit. I’m sure it was all a big misunderstanding. Lindsay was just borrowing a bunch of watches or maybe $3,000 and some car keys. All this negative press is BS. For sure.