Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Lindsay Lohan

Even Lindsay Lohan’s Assistant Thinks Lindsay Lohan Needs to Go to Rehab

photo of lindsay lohan pictures
Oh man, guys. Shit’s really hitting the fan, is it not? Here’s a screencap from Lindsay‘s assistant’s, Gavin Doyle’s, Twitter:

photo of lindsay assistant twitter pictures gavin doyle pic
And hey, look who probably doesn’t have a job any longer? Yes, Gavin Doyle, Lindsay Lohan’s personal assistant. What I want to know, though, is why is Gavin choosing to address Lindsay and her myriad issues through Twitter? Wouldn’t it be better received—or, you know, received, period—if he’d just gone to the source and talked Lindsay through her problems? Yeah, sure, he’s probably already done that at least a dozen times, but really. Even though it didn’t work the first twelve times doesn’t mean it’s OK to go ahead and blow social media up with it. It’s like this moron decided, hey, yeah, the Lindsay train’s totally derailing before the end of 2012, so I may as well jump into the fray and make it known that I, too, had my name in the news for thirty seconds since everyone else’s is.

And you know what? That’s just sad, guys, seriously. I’m not trying to be a Lindsay sympathizer or anything, because everything that she’s done (especially the whole punching-a-chick-in-the-face thing) has been entirely her own fault, but come on. Her personal assistant? Saying this kind of shit on Twitter? It’s no wonder she chose this Gavin person to assist her—he’s got the same level of class that she does. I get it now.

Lindsay Lohan Is A Racist, And Even More Details of Her Latest Fight!

A photo of Lindsay Lohan

From TMZ:

The victim in the Lindsay Lohan nightclub fight tells TMZ … Lohan hurled a racial slur at her moments before the brawl … calling her a “f**king Gypsy.”

TMZ spoke with Tiffany Mitchell — a well-known psychic who was at the club Avenue with a friend Wednesday night when Lohan walked in.

Tiffany tells us … she had a premonition about Lohan and approached her inside the club to offer her a free reading … but Lohan turned her down saying, “Give me my space.”

As she walked away, Tiffany’s friend says she heard Lohan call her a “f**king Gypsy” … and it set her off.

We’re told the friend went ballistic — unloading a bunch of insults back at Lohan … calling her a “whore” and telling her “Liz & Dick sucked.”

At that point, Lohan lost her cool and socked the psychic in the eye … and all hell broke loose inside the club. Lohan was eventually arrested for assault.

Tiffany’s husband tells TMZ, “We are not Gypsies. That has nothing to do with our religion … it was a racist comment.”

He adds, “Just because your career went down the drain and your new movie sucks, you can’t go around beating people up.”

As for the connection to Max from “The Wanted” — we’re told Tiffany DID have a convo with the heartthrob earlier in the evening … but it was just a friendly conversation and Lindsay had nothing to be jealous about.

All aboard the Crazytown Express! Except not really, because this train is going to wreck, and it’s going to wreck hard.

But wait, we have an additional story about Lindsay: she’s been drinking two liters of vodka a day. Can you even imagine? I’d get sick if I tried to drink two liters of soda in one day, let alone booze. And apparently Lindsay’s friends did try to help her once they realized how bad her drinking had gotten, but – surprise! – Lindsay can get violent when she’s drunk. And so goes this vicious cycle.

We’ll let you know when she gets arrested, so stay tuned. There’s no official word, but it surely can’t be too long now.

Last Lindsay Post of the Day, Promise: The Fight Was All Over a Boy Band-Boy

photo of lindsay lohan red hair and drunk pictures
I could just roll over and die. No joke. Roll over. and die. From TMZ:

Lindsay Lohan punched another woman in the face over Max from the boy band “The Wanted” last night … and we’ve learned Max was turned off by the fact LiLo was sloppy drunk inside the club … this according to sources at the club.

We’re told … Lindsay went to the Justin Bieber concert — but not to see the Biebs — “The Wanted” was the opening act … and Lindsay has been scoping Max out for the last few days.

Sources say Lindsay tried to get backstage after the concert to see him — but she was blocked. Fast forward to later that evening when Lindsay met up with Max, Jay and Tom at a hotel bar.

The four of them — along with one of LiLo’s friends — then went to the club Avenue together.

As the evening wore on, we’re told Lindsay got drunker and drunker … and it turned Max off. He then started talking to another woman, which enraged Lindsay. That woman is the one Lindsay is accused of battering. (FYI — Max was also really drunk).

Ironically, Max washed his hands of both of them — found another girl in the club — and went home with her instead … while Lindsay ended up in jail.

Oh my gosh, yes, because guys who aren’t totally trashy like her Royal Highness Lindsay, tell me: isn’t it just the hottest when a girl you’re not even interested in punches another girl you’re not even interested in, in the face? Doesn’t that just totally ring your bell?

Here’s a photo of this Max person, a person with whom I’m not at all familiar, because I don’t do bands like The Wanted mostly:

photo of max the wanted pictures

UPDATED: Here’s a Video of Lindsay’s Arrest, Also, the Chick She Decked

Best part of the video? How she keeps repeating, “Are you kidding me?” as if it’s totally OK in some parallel universe to punch someone in the face even if they do the unthinkable and enter your personal, private space. “Are you kidding me”, Lindsay Lohan? No, I don’t think you are, but alas, you apparently need the education that it’s never OK to lay your hands on someone because U MAD.

And here’s the lady, too:

photo of lindsay lohan pictures
Last, if you thought this incident would pass by discreetly, without Michael Lohan throwing his two cents in, then you’d be just as delusional as Lindsay. No, this is what Michael had to say:

“I told you exactly what would happen and was trying to get Dina on board with me for a long time but especially the last two weeks. If she had, I wish to God, she would stop and resolve things with us to do the same for our children. It’s really sad that the same good people are always there for her and the ones that care are the ones she hurts the most. She is in a dark place, it’s in God’s hands and I hope he deals with her appropriately.”

God, how is it that Michael Lohan ends up looking the best out of all the people in this entire damn family? How is this even real?

Image courtesy of Splash News

Update: Lindsay’s been charged with three additional crimes on the west coast, bringing today’s grand total to four criminal charges. Yup, remember that car accident back in June? Well a Santa Monica County Judge is charging Lindsay with providing false information to a police officer, obstruction of justice, and reckless driving. Oh my God, what a f-cking mess. For Lindsay. For those who say it’s time for her comeuppance (i.e., pretty much everyone else?), here it comes, riding on a big crack train.

Lindsay Lohan Just Got Arrested

A photo of Lindsay Lohan

But wait. It wasn’t even for the other thing we thought she was going to get arrested for, the thing where she lied to the police about her car accident. No, this is a totally new issue. She just got into a fight at a club. And she’s at the police station right now.

From TMZ:

Lindsay Lohan was ARRESTED at 4 AM Thursday in New York City for allegedly punching a woman at a New York City nightclub … law enforcement sources tell TMZ.

Our sources say Lohan was at Club Avenue when she got into some sort of argument with a female patron and it became physical.  We’re told cops came and arrested Lindsay for allegedly assaulting her.

Law enforcement tells us prior to the fight words were exchanged between Lindsay and the woman as they sat in separate booths near each other.  Lindsay said something to the effect of, “Give me my space.”  Some time passed and then, for some reason, Lindsay allegedly punched the girl in the left side of her face.

We’re told by the time cops arrived Lindsay had left the club and was a passenger in a car that was leaving the area.  Cops intercepted the car and made the arrest.

At the time of this post Lindsay is still at the police station.

And this isn’t Lindsay’s only legal problem.  TMZ broke the story … she is about to be charged with lying to cops in June after her car accident on Pacific Coast Highway.  She told them she was a passenger in the Porsche when actually she was driving.

And, if Lindsay is formally charged with the latest crime, it could trigger yet another probation violation.

Apparently she’s getting booked for third degree misdemeanor assault, which is neat.

This is it, you guys. She’s definitely going back to jail. That’s not in a report or anything, that’s just a gut feeling. And yeah, I’m excited for her to get another chance to perfect her mug shot, ha ha, but I really just hope that she can learn her lesson this time. Any chance of that, do you think?

Nobody Even Watched Liz & Dick

A photo of Lindsay Lohan

Did you watch Liz & Dick? I didn’t. I know, I know, but I don’t have cable, and it was so cold on Sunday, so I just went to bed. I have seen clips, but I haven’t seen the whole thing yet, so I can’t really pass judgement on it. I can only pass on the facts.

The ratings weren’t too hot on this one. Sorry. Everyone involved with the making of this movie predicted that every single person with access to a television would watch Liz & Dick to see Lindsay‘s big comeback, but yeah, that just wasn’t the case. They got 3.5 million viewers, which certainly isn’t bad, it just isn’t what they expected.

Let’s put this into perspective: Lindsay’s movie was the fourth most-watched Lifetime movie of 2012. It got 3.5 million viewers. Lifetime’s remake of Steel Magnolias had 6.5 million viewers, a movie called Drew Peterson: Untouchable got 5.8 million, and another movie called Abducted: The Carlina White Story got 4.09 million. I can understand why Steel Magnolias did so much better – Queen Latifah, Phylicia Rashad, and Jill Scott, are you serious? – but I don’t get the other two. Are other people really that uninterested in Lindsay Lohan?

Lindsay Lohan is Actually Not Happy About All This Negativity

photo of lindsay lohan and grant bowler pictures
So most of you disagreed with me when I said that I thought ‘Liz & Dick’ was actually pretty likable, and some of you (well, not *you*, per se, but Twitter people) actually went as far as … well, practically eviscerating Lindsay for trying her … well, for trying really hard in her latest film endeavor. With that in mind, I’ve got some good news for those of you who who are keen on hating on what she does on the premise of who she is: she’s devastated. That’s right, you heard—devastated. A source close to Lindsay had this to say about all of the negative feedback that’s come in over the last twelve hours from the first public viewing of ‘Liz & Dick’:

“Lindsay is devastated by the response to the film. She has got used to all the negative press around her personal life but this is the first time she has experienced it about her work. No matter how bad things were going for her personally, everyone would always agree that she was a great actress. … Lindsay has already read her own press. She knew the script wasn’t strong but thought she would bring the role of Elizabeth to life. This is particularly heartbreaking as her acting was the only thing in her life that she knew was real. Now she is doubting that, too.”

But this “only thing she thought was real” thing? Well. That’s an indicator of someone deluded beyond all belief right there, and also someone so far up their own ass for their own good, to boot—but hopefully, if this all really is the case, it’ll jar girlfriend right out of the self-induced ‘Parent Trap’ reverie she put herself in all those years ago and maybe—just maybe—she can work her way out of it and see what a wreck things really have been all this time (except for ‘Liz & Dick’; it’s the most amount of right that she’s done in a long, long time). Here’s what Michael Lohan had to say about his daughter’s performance:

“Due to the content, I had to step away from a lot of the scenes, but regardless of what some of these so-called critics, who don’t have an ounce of talent in their bones say, Lindsay proved that she is an amazing actress. This was a different role for her at a difficult time of her life. She still has what it takes to be the Lindsay Lohan that is one of Hollywood’s top actresses.”

I know we’ve ragged on Lindsay a lot in the past, and still continue to do so, although more of it’s tongue-in-cheek as of late, but God. Never have we ever said that we hate her or that she’s entirely worthless like so many other media outlets have, because seriously, when all’s said and done, she is still a person, am I right? And no, not at all worthless. Suffice it to say I haven’t forgotten all of the f-ckery that Lindsay’s created in her own life, but damn. Cut a girl a break, maybe. Or, at the very least, help her cut herself a break somehow or another*.

*Preferably with nothing that has anything to do with jewelry heists, former lesbian lovers, or family matters. Let’s be fair, now.