Got a Tip? Help us Beet Off!

Lindsay Lohan

5Now Lindsay Wants Her Own Sitcom

A photo of Lindsay Lohan

It’s happening. Hollywood’s darling (ha ha) is shooting for the moon. Drunk off the success or whatever from her big Lifetime movie, Lindsay Lohan is interested in prolonging her comeback with her very own television show!

From Radar:

Even though critics raked Lindsay Lohan over the coals for her performance in the Lifetime television movie Liz & Dick, the former child actress is determined to star in her own television sitcom, is exclusively reporting.

“Lindsay has asked her manager and agent to look into getting her her own television sitcom,” a source close to the situation tells exclusively. ”Lindsay feels that the small screen would be a great way for her to revitalize her acting career and that a comedy would be the best bet. Lindsay feels most comfortable doing comedy and it was Charlie Sheen that told her she should do it. Charlie told Lindsay that it was an easy way to make very good money and help her to get her movie career back on track. Lindsay is loving the idea of having her own sitcom and would love to play someone in a story based on her crazy life.”

Oh, and here’s another lovely tidbit from the source:

“Lindsay isn’t fazed at all by the criticism. She thinks everyone is insanely jealous of her, and like it or not, she was trending on Twitter last night. Lindsay hopes that she could get her own television sitcom like Kirstie Alley did with Fat Actress. Lindsay admires what Kirstie did and wants to follow in her footsteps,” the insider says.

Do we really even need to discuss this? This is already in the works, right? Because I want to live in a world where Lindsay Lohan can say “I want a sitcom” and then instantly get a sitcom. I want to live in a world where people care about what I care about, where my wants and needs are taken into account. And I both want and need a Lindsay Lohan sitcom. In order for me to thrive as a human being, I need that.

Can we get a premiere date or something now?

November 26, 2012 at 11:30 am by Emily
Filed Under: Lindsay Lohan

17Oh My God, ‘Liz & Dick’

photo of liz & dick pictures
You don’t know how many times I wrote and re-wrote this post in my head, guys, because no matter what I said or how I said it, it was completely unbelievable and preposterous, so I’m just going to come out with it: did you watch ‘Liz & Dick’ last night? Because I did. In its entirety. And short of thinking that the film’s soundtrack was busted ass (it was), and that they completely rushed the ending to fit it into a two-hour block … ugh, here goes I guess—I loved it. I LOVED it. I actually thought it was so, so much better than everyone (including myself) said it was going to be, and I couldn’t turn it off (not that I wanted to, but that’s a moot point).

Here’s some general Twitter feedback about the movie, but you know what? I honestly think a lot of it’s from people who just want something cute and amusing to say in order to get mentioned on blogs and newspapers (well played, crafty ones). I’ll bet you that some of these naysayers actually liked this movie as much as I did:

Gilbert Godfried sound more like Liz Taylor #LizAndDick

Just turned on #LizAndDick after The Walking Dead. The walkers have more charisma and screen presence than Lindsey Lohan.

I want to kill them already???? #lizanddick

Somewhere, there is an actress who didn’t get cast in this thing and is thanking her lucky stars. #LizAndDick

Holy God in heaven… #LizandDick is pure torture.

Watched 3 minutes of Liz&Dick and had to turn it off. This coming from the white girl who sat thru the entirety of Norbit, sober #lizanddick

Come on. Come on! It wasn’t that bad! You know, I recorded it on my DV-R last night, just in case it was so bad that I had to take it in two doses, but now I’m glad I went and decided to do that, because yes, I will absof-ckinglutely be watching it again. It was compelling in a weird, suprising, not-at-all-awful sort of way.

As for the technical aspects of the movie, the wardrobe was pretty killer. The scenery … well, it wasn’t all that bad. The only thing that I wasn’t fond of was the fact that it was written as if you knew Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton’s life story as it were, and frankly, some people just don’t (shocking, I know). Honestly, that’s my only gripe. I really, really enjoyed the movie, and there’s something a bit proud (?) inside of me for Lindsay Lohan somewhere, too.

November 26, 2012 at 6:30 am by Sarah
Filed Under: Lindsay Lohan

4Charlie Sheen Gave Lindsay Lohan $100,000

A photo of Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan

You know what they say: give a crackhead a fish and you’ll feed her for a day, but teach a crackhead to fish and she’ll probably fall off the boat and then you’ll have to deal with a bunch of lawsuits. Ha ha, but seriously. Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan aren’t two peas in a pod, but two jackasses in a crack den, so when they came together to work on Scary Movie 5, it makes sense that they would have gotten close.

Ok, now let’s review an old story: Lindsay Lohan never pays her taxes. When she does manage to get a job, she spends all the money on meth or purses or whatever. And even now, right in the middle of her big comeback, she can’t manage to pay her taxes. So she owes the IRS a good amount of money: around $234,000.

Meanwhile, Charlie Sheen is a crackhead with a heart of gold and an unfathomable amount of money. So, as you might have gathered from the headline, he just gave Lindsay $100,000. Apparently she told him all about her financial problems while they were on set, and he just wrote up a check and sent it to her management team. Charming, right?

So here’s what I want to know: is Lindsay going to be Charlie’s next goddess? Do you just give women you meet on movie sets that much money? When is the sex tape going to be released, do you think? Important questions!

November 25, 2012 at 3:00 pm by Emily

9Tonight’s The Night!

A photo of Lindsay Lohan

After what’s felt like years of waiting, the big day is finally here. Tonight we will finally be able to see Lindsay Lohan‘s big comeback: Liz & Dick, the Lifetime movie that we’ve always dreamed of. We’ll be able to sit down with our families and friends, or we’ll just watch it at the gym because we don’t have cable, and we’ll all be better for it.

We all remember that first review of the movie, and sadly, it wasn’t all that positive. But since more time has passed, a lot more people have reviewed it. So why don’t we see if anyone has anything nice to say, all right?

Here’s what Entertainment Weekly had to say:

“‘Liz & Dick’ is a very peculiar TV movie indeed. The opening seconds flash a ”based on a true story” message across the screen. But the ‘story’ — that is, the life that Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton shared mostly during the 1960s, after meeting while making Cleopatra (1963) — was much richer in reality than it is in this dinky, tin-eared production. Instead, the primary interest in watching ‘Liz & Dick’ is to behold Lindsay Lohan trying, with varying, wobbly degrees of effort, to make her own career comeback.”

That’s nice, right?  Lindsay is trying with “varying, wobbly degrees of effort.”  That doesn’t sound too bad, does it?

Now let’s see what the San Francisco Chronicle thought about it:

The film, starring Lindsay Lohan and Grant Bowler and airing Sunday night, is terrible. It could have been terrible in a fun way, but is, alas, terrible in the other way: It’s so terrible, you’ll need to ice your face when it’s over to ease the pain of wincing for two hours.

And this:

The performances range from barely adequate to terrible. That would be Bowler in the “barely adequate” slot and Lohan, well, in the other one.

But let’s hear from The Wrap!

Her idol, Marilyn Monroe, continued to study acting well into her stardom, and turned in some very good performances as a result. Lohan might want to imitate Monroe’s interest in her craft, rather than just dressing like her for magazine spreads.

Every review says the same thing, just with different levels of cattiness. Lindsay is terrible, her costar is kind of ok, and the whole entire movie is a big huge mess. From the acting to the direction to the editing to the script, it’s all awful. That’s what everyone keeps saying.

But we’re going to find out for ourselves, right?

November 25, 2012 at 10:00 am by Emily
Filed Under: Lindsay Lohan

21Lindsay Lohan Is Talking Too Much

A photo of Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay is doing way too many interviews. Way, way too many. And I appreciate it, I really do, but I just don’t know if it’s a good idea for her. Like, she keeps saying all these silly things, and that’s not going to help her get an Oscar. Which, by they way, she’s still talking about.

Here’s her latest interview, from Us Weekly via Celebitchy:

On love: “I’m not focused on that yet. I want to do a ton of movies first. After I win an Oscar, I can start thinking about love. I think there are a lot of directors and producers who know I’m a good actress. I just want them to get past the misconception that I’m not reliable, because I am. I’m going to make them believe in me again.”

On kids: “I want to adopt a son.”

No regrets: “[I regret] nothing, because then I wouldn’t have been able to cry in scenes at the drop of a hat. I have it tattooed: LIVE WITHOUT REGRETS. I’m not saying I wanted to go to a jail cell, but I’ve drawn from all of it.”

She’s better than Elizabeth Taylor: “Elizabeth was drunk on sets. I’ve never been drunk on set, ever. I did my time and I respect the law.”

On Marilyn Monroe: “Marilyn Monroe went to an institution and said, ‘I may not belong here like the world thinks I do, but I might as well take what I can get here and use it and help other people.’ I think that’s what everyone should take from those experiences.”

On being famous: “Since I was a kid, I’ve loved being on camera. Don’t misconstrue that: I didn’t strive to have flashbulbs at dinner or people who don’t know me calling TMZ. And 99% of the time, it’s not true. I feel bullied. Even when I colored my hair, tabloids said I was going crazy. I wanted a different hair color! I can’t think of any actor who has been subjected to such extreme publicity who hasn’t, like, committed suicide.”

On being a mess: “I was a teenager and everything I did was on the news. I would have been in college then. I’m not defending it because I chose to be in the public eye. But it got exhausting. I still don’t think it was a bad thing that I was going out a lot. When I got in trouble, I owned up to it.”

On being a kid: “Kids go through ups and downs, try cigarettes, drugs and drinking. It’s human nature. It took a while but it’s like, What was I thinking? Why did I allow so many sycophants and bad influences to be around me? I was lonely and I didn’t realize it. That’s why I came back home to New York. I never feel lonely there. I can see my family and I have really good people in my life.”

On her time in jail: “I’m not going to go there because people might take my answer in different ways. But a punishment is a punishment and I take responsibility for my actions when I’m wrong. I was raised that way by my mom. I turned myself in. A lot of that decision had to do with the public because they’re not going to stop until they see me behind bars.”

There are just so many things to comment on, and I can’t do it all myself. I’ll do a couple though. One, it’s not that the public “won’t stop” until they see you in jail, it’s that people get frustrated when someone so blatantly breaks the law and doesn’t get any punishment for it whatsoever. Two, you didn’t “go through ups and downs” like every kid, you broke several laws over the course of several years. Three, stop talking about that Oscar, because it’s just sad. Four, never adopt a son.

Ok, if you guys could take over now, that’d be great.

November 24, 2012 at 2:00 pm by Emily
Filed Under: Lindsay Lohan

5Quotables: Lindsay Lohan Talks About Love, More

photo of lindsay lohan face pictures goofy pic

I need to love myself first before I could be with anyone else, and I was going through a lot. Two toxic people cannot be together. End of story. We’re friends now. That’s how it started so I think that’s how it was meant to be. Yeah, I like a girl. And? That’s not fair. And what am I left with? Heartbreak. That was three years ago. It was my last serious relationship.

Lindsay Lohan on the state of her love life, former and current, and what the fall-out was like when she dated Samantha Ronson (who was her last serious relationship as noted above). As you can probably tell, Lindsay’s putting out all the feelers now to see who’s interested in a possible relationship with her, because she’s getting lonely.

Should we feel bad for her? Does Lindsay Lohan also create all of her own relationship drama, like she does in the rest of her life? Would you give her an shot and date her, or do you think the craziness and crackiness would just be too much for you, too?

November 23, 2012 at 10:30 am by Sarah
Filed Under: Lindsay Lohan