Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Lindsay Lohan

If Only This Was On Every Saturday Morning

It’s always interesting to see how American celebrities are perceived in other countries, and this video is a pretty good example of that. You see, apparently even in Taiwan they know that Lindsay Lohan’s behavior has been nothing short of a total joke, and they’ve animated her 2 year journey through the legal system. Boy, is it ever accurate.

I want to see what they’d do with Kurt and Courtney.

If You Won Any Bets Saying Lindsay Wouldn’t Be in Jail For More Than Two Weeks, Now’s the Time to Collect Your Money

As you’re all probably aware, the phenomena known as Lindsay Lohan has made her grand exit from jail, and is in the process of transitioning to rehab, where she’ll be treated for meth addiction, withdrawal, and bipolar disorder.

Lindsay was released early yesterday morning, after just serving thirteen days of her ninety-day sentence, but wasn’t photographed looking like methed-out shit leaving the facility.  As of today, she probably sits in UCLA Medical Center’s rehabilitation center, because Morningside Recovery, her original destination, was found to be ill-equipped and not secure enough to handle Lindsay’s addictions star power.

Lindsay’s rehab stint is supposed to last ninety days, but her “requirements” seem more like “recommendations,” and I highly doubt she’ll be there for the next two weeks, let alone the next three months.  Come the fuck on. She didn’t even spend a third of her time in jail, for crying out loud — rehab is going to be a joke for Lohan.  She’s going to pull out her dusty, dried out acting skills and be all “healed” and “remorseful” of of her pre-jail behavior, and she’ll be out quicker than you can say drug-addled sex kitten, back to snatch shots, chipped dollar store nail polish, and Red Bull before the end of the week.  Then the LA county legal system will smile smugly and say, “Hey, this kinda stuff is our job, guys, and we take it seriously.”

Lindsay Was Apparently Doing Far Worse Drugs Than We Thought

I know a lot of you guys like to make fun of Fergie for meth face, but damn. I never realized Lindsay had it, too, until I found out that she’s going to be treated for methamphetamines herself. Because yeah, she is. TMZ got the scoop that when Lindsay checks out of jail, she’ll be checking into Morningside Recovery rehab to be treated for meth use and withdrawal and bipolar disorder.

Who the fuck does meth, like, intentionally? I mean, you’ve probably all seen that website Faces of Meth. Why would someone consciously do things like that? Those are like Whitney Houston the people that intentionally use crack cocaine or inject heroin between their toes. These are the dirtiest of the dirty drugs, and anyone who knowingly tries a drug like meth is only setting themselves up for ultimate failure. It’s like, come on. How do you expect this is going to turn out?

Meth, for fuck’s sake.

Pretty hardcore, Linds. And pretty goddamned stupid, too.