Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Lindsay Lohan

Watch Lindsay’s Mom Be Ridiculous on The Today Show!

Did you guys catch Dina Lohan on the Today show this morning?  I didn’t, because I’m not a masochist, but luckily there are clips and quotes floating around the interwebs so I could catch myself up on whatever nonsense Lindsay’s mom is currently spewing.

First of all, Dina is still going on about how Lindsay didn’t deserve the sentence she got, because she’s “not condoning drinking and driving,” but Lindsay’s “changed.  She’s grown up considerably.”  Because that’s how the law works, right, if you apologize and write a 500 word essay on what you’ve learned, then you don’t ever have to account for laws you’ve broken.

Dina goes on to throw around the word “propaganda” in reference to the media coverage of Lindsay, mention a book she may write about her experience of being famous in New York before Lindsay was born (really?), and to state that she doesn’t even know what being a stage mom means.

Oh, and she also says that while in jail, Lindsay made friends with murderers.  If I don’t get that Lindsay and Alexis Neiers sitcom, then I want a painting of Lindsay hanging out with some killers, at least.

Lindsay Lohan Spoof Porn: Really Not All That Interesting Looking

I mean, you know, if you count a girl who looks absolutely nothing like Lindsay whatsoever, with much smaller tits and a love of wine instead of pills, you’d get what the Hustler-sponsored Lindsay Lohan-alike porn is supposed to be like.

The porn star Scarlett Fay (as photographed above) is covered in what’s supposed to be cocaine, but that’s just another unrealistic move on Hustler’s part — as if Lindsay would be that frivolous. Waste not, want not, right?

The only thing they got right was the grubby hands. But that was a cop-out (and sheer coincidence), I’m sure. All porn stars probably have grubby hands underneath their four-inch Lucite-strong manicures. This chick just couldn’t afford to get hers filled this month, so she gnawed the tips off.

So, Linds? I’m actually kind of offended on your part. Go figure.

You can check out all of the promo shots for the movie over on The Superficial — uncensored and all, you skeeve.

Image courtesy of The Superficial

Lindsay Lohan Talks About Inferno

Lindsay Lohan is Linda Lovelace

Before Linds went to the slammer (and now rehab), she was working on Inferno, the biopic of Linda Lovelace, the star of one of the most famous pornographic films ever, Deep Throat. We’ve already seen some photos from the movie’s first day of shooting back in May, but in a video only on People.com (seriously, no embeds), we get to see some behind-the-scenes footage of the actress at work.

It’s so freakin’ obvious why she took the role once you hear Lindsay talking about Linda. She describes her as, “an innocent girl who got trafficked into a situation.” Hmmm. Sounds kind of familiar, huh? And you know, Lohan can act. She always has been able to. If she had her shit together back when she was booking serious roles, she probably could have gotten at least a Golden Globe by now.

I don’t care for what seems to be the aesthetic of the film so far, but I hope that for Lindsay’s sake it’s worthy of the performance she’ll give. She needs this to go well.